Church stake basketball should be the litmus test for how Mormon men really think.

I used to play all the time. I was for shit at basketball but, hey, I needed the exercise.

Back in the mid-80's I was on the High Council and one of the men from my ward was also. We both played on the ward basketball team back when they had stake competitions. This guy was the son-in-law of Richard Clark, the GA.

Anywho, we're playing a game against another ward and this guy thinks he's all that and a bag of chips at basketball. Sure, he's better than me, but, WTF? I wrestled in HS and college, so I'm like a bit less than so-so at basketball.

He's Mr. Point Guard, scores half our points every game and hates to lose. You know the type, was on the HS basketball team, has a few skills, and shines in Morgball.

Once, during a game, the other team had just scored a basket and whomever inbounded the ball to me and I start dribbling up the court. So, "Mr. Basketball" starts yelling for me to give him the ball. I don't. He yells more, I don't. I pass to some guy on the wing and he heaves up a brick. Then, Mr. Baskeball comes over and gets in my face: "Hey, I'm the fucking point guard on the team and you don't dribble goddam the ball up. Now get your ass under the basket so we can win."

I start laffing in his face and tell him to get his punk assed, pencil necked attitude away from me before he gets hurt. Next thing I know, he reaches back for a haymaker.. I duck, wrap his ass up like a pretzel and down to the floor we go. He's totally red-faced ready to pop when several separate us. I'm laffing the whole time. What a dickwad. I walk off the floor and go home, they have to play with 4 and lose.

Next time I see him is in high priest quorum. He's still pissed. Comes over and sticks his finger in my face, I swat it way and ask him if he wants to be on the floor again. Never spoke to the dude again, ever. He wouldn't sit anywhere near me in High Council.

This kind of shit happened all the time during stake basketball. Buncha chip-on-the-shoulder "glory days" assholes who ran the Lard's church. Each and every one called by inspiration. ROFLMAO

Asshats.

Just sayin'...

Ron

I would argue that at least most men are capable of getting their annoyance out in the open.
Women. Now women will smile at your face but turn on you like a shark and ruin your reputation with gossip before you know you said or did anything wrong. If that's normal and MEN are weird, can I renounce my gender and join the boys team?
I want to be a weirdo!

Did you ever read what Joseph Smith and Brigham Young said about women who rejected them or people who left or voiced disapproval? They made up anything and everything. This "smile at your face but turn on you like a shark and ruin your reputation with gossip" is hardly just a female trait.

But those two were completely deranged, power hungry maniacs, everyone here knows it.

I do believe your argument holds true for the generation why and younger kids raised with modern parenting methods these days, I'll give you that for sure!

"I could tell most of the secretaries in the church office building that they are ugly and fat. That would be the truth, but it would hurt and destroy them."

but ya still dig us right?? :)

shrugg.

Well...count your lucky stars that he didn't raise his arm to a right angle and call jebus down...

Jesus: (directing some angels on the creation of a new star) That's right, you have to make sure there's enough hydrogen in the process so that it can be converted to helium. So make sure...
(another angel comes racing in and whispers something to jesus)

Jesus: Holy shit! Some guy on a basketball court on a planet 25 light years from here has his arm at a right angle and said my name! I have to get down there!

Angel: Crap...did he take the instruction book? Um....ok...does anyone remember how many eggs we had to put into this bowl to make hydrogen?

omen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> Jesus: (directing some angels on the creation of a
> new star) That's right, you have to make sure
> there's enough hydrogen in the process so that it
> can be converted to helium. So make sure...
> (another angel comes racing in and whispers
> something to jesus)

Then jesus pauses for a second, looks around, then continues reading the book..er directing creation. ;)

One of my co-workers used to play church ball and every week he would come to work with a black eye, a busted ankle, even a broken toe...church ball is vicious!!!

I was on my mission in Kentucky. An investigator said he liked to play basketball so we took him to the ward one night to play with the members. He got in a little tussle underneath the basket with a member and the member punched him in the face. About knocked him cold and floored him. That was the end of that investigator ha ha.

" you said:I wrestled in HS and college,"
yeah thats what i thought!! and B-Ball?
nope ...white men cant jump!! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/25/2011 12:35PM by bignevermo.

Last time I played in the 80's I remember is the bishop and some guy fightin like Mofos on the floor of the gym punchin each other in the face. Bishop made a big apology in Sac mtg.

we called it War Ball instead of Ward Ball

Church b-ball could be the worst. I saw all of the above. I am on the tall side and loved to play for fun. Always liked to get the ball back out to the short guys so they could have some fun.

Well, Mr. “I will win or die trying” always made playing downright miserable. Every ward seems to have one. One night the bish from one ward and the 1st counselor from another got into a tiff during a game. They decided to settle the score by playing one on one after the game. Basically it was “beat the shat out of the other guy but make it look like basketball” .

Everyone left the building and let them have their alone time.

As a spectator, I got publicly called to repentance at a game because my some chaperone woman (it was a multi-stake SA basketball tournament) thought that my boyfriend and I were flirting "inappropriately". We were seated next to members of the bishopric, who found nothing inappropriate about our behavior, and were appalled at her prudery. We weren't dry-humping or anything-- I don't think we had even kissed yet in our relationship, let alone at a church ball-game. I don't know what she thought she saw, but it bothered her enough to call me out in front of a crowd.

In protest, the first counselor's wife (at least 60 years old) sat on her husband's lap and smothered him loudly with sloppy kisses. She made a big show of it, turned to the chaperone, and said "Aren't you going to tell me I'm being 'inappropriate'? I didn't think so." It was hilarious and that busy-body walked off in a huff.

At a stake tournament one time, a fight broke out between a ref's wife and a player's wife (who was also our bishop's daughter). One of the teams was running late and had to forfeit. Just as the official made the call, the late players rolled in. The guys had agreed to play the game just for the fun of it anyway, but that wasn't good enough for the wife of one of the players because she claimed that according to one clock in the building they weren't late at all.

When the official failed to see things her way, she charged across the court and started screaming at him like a rabid chihuahua. The ref's wife, who was keeping score on the stage, reached down and slapped the hysteria right out of the player's wife, a la John Wayne. The player's wife passed out (I guess she was over-excited), both benches were cleared and it looked like it was going to be an all-out brawl. It got broken up before it got too far. It was incredible. The police got called to the scene and charges were filed and we've been talking about it for years since.

Oh Ron you are so right about the litmus test! I played morg-ball as a teenager and the true colors certainly come out. Then, years later, I remember sitting in EQ and hearing a tongue lashing about the behavior on the basketball court. I never played as an adult. However, I have heard many stories about those games. Sounds like some serious ghetto ass street ball if you ask me! The only thing lacking is the "gat" in the waistband! It kills me how these TBM clowns put on such a facade. They sit with their little wives and family in sacrament meeting on Sunday with a halo around their head. But, every other day of the week they are cussing out the guy next to them and looking at porn! Jeckle and Hyde to the extreme! No wonder TBM's are popping psychotropic meds like no other!