Something my stepmom said to me a couple of months back. She prefaced it by asking how I felt about the church.

I beat around the bush and hee-hawed a bit.. I gently told her that I'm not inclined to return to the church, that I'm quite happy where I'm at, and having just found my faith again (not in mormonism!) I'm happy just reveling in that for the next who-knows-how-long. ^_^

Frankly, she's old & has dementia. I'm fairly sensitive to her mood swings, and didn't want to set her off. I didn't give her hope that I'd return, but I also didn't squash her question outright like the icky bug it is.

For those who've left, has your family ever said something of the ilk to you? Have they ever pestered you or asked you about returning?

xxxx

But the icing on the cake goes to my mother-in-law who keeps telling my wife that she knows that I'm going to come back.

My mom was saying the same thing and I told her not to place any bets on that with her retirement funds and she explained to me that she's prayed about it considerably and has been told by the Lord God Almighty himself that I would come back to the church.

I laughed out loud before I realized that laughing at that moment was very hurtful thing for me to be doing to my mother at that moment.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/29/2011 05:41PM by Comfortably Numb.

Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it marvelous?

Just tell her you got a tarot reading and the psychic told you that your mom would overcome her programming and leave her cult and you just know that it's true.

My mom still has hope for me and I don't know why. I've told her how I feel about church. I don't believe in the LDS doctrine. It is all lies. Yet, she still holds out hope. She has always told my TBM brother (not really TBM but faking it) and his wife that she knows we'll go back to church someday, especially when we have kids. Well we have three kids and have no intention of going back. Not even close.

Unfortunately the church has said in no uncertain terms --""We do not want you back"" !!!

JB

There was one time I was home for a reunion, driving my sister from SLC to Park City, when she asked, sort of out of the blue, "If you don't believe in the church, what do you believe?" I gave her an answer that was far more agnostic than my actual atheist self, saying that if there's a god out there, it's probably nothing like anyone imagines, yadda yadda yadda. And that was it. Sometime after that, I learned that she explained to her children that I was "just confused" about the church -- as if I were a teenager or something.

Years later, at another reunion, my sisters were trying to figure out the best way to get from the hotel to my brother's ward, involving one person picking them up and two others bringing them back or some such thing. I had the rental car, so I said I could drive.

"Oh, but then you'd have to come back and pick us up. That would be inconvenient for you."

"No, I'd stay."

"What, and wait out in the car?"

"No, I'd go to church with you."

"Oh, we assumed you wouldn't want to do that."

"No big deal."

Then a few years ago, I was visiting my sister over a long weekend. They were all doing their usual Sunday thing and there was no assumption that I would be going to church. In fact, my sister gave me a key to the condo and pointed me toward some places of interest.

So I've been very lucky about my family's reaction. But I didn't come out until after my mother had died and my father slipping away from reality. They wouldn't have taken it nearly as graciously.

Local missionaries have been instructed to bypass my home. I wave to them when they ride by, and they nervously wave back.

Was it something I said?

Were you the one who sprayed them with a hose? ;)

Actually, I once asked two mishies at my door, "Where was Joseph Smith born?" They couldn't answer and I wanted to know why the most important man since Jesus was born in an unknown location (I knew it was Sharon, Vermont). The next day they came back with an older guy and I said, "Never mind," and closed the door on them. They haven't been back.

Haven't seen Cheryl here for some time - anyone have any news?

Hope she's OK

I always tell them, up-front, that I am an apostate who voluntarily left the church. If they are brave enough to ask why, I just say "It didn't work for me."

I have noticed, however, that they tend to skip my house when they are tracting, even though I have always said they were welcome to stop by and have a cool drink if the weather is hot, or some hot cocoa during the winter. I have never been rude or unkind to them, and I have never tried to "de-convert" them.

I dunno - maybe it's those exmo horns and cloven hooves. . .

My parents were mostly inactive during my teenage years. Now that they are empty-nesters, they have gone back to full activity. It fills up some of that empty time. Now that I am done with the church, they keep telling me that they went through a period where they didn't want to go, so they know that I will hit the same thing as them and will want to go back. The difference is that I have no kids, just DW & I, so if we are happy now, why would we need to try to fill a hole later in life?

My dad knew I had been inactive for a while, but I told him some of my problems with the church and why I wanted nothing to do with it. His response (after a long doctrinal discussion): "I still think all it will take is the right bishop or home teacher to come around and you will come back."

I love my dad, so I didn't take the discussion any further. As long as he doesn't take it upon himself to find the "right" bishop or home teacher and send them my way, we should be fine.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/01/2011 10:52AM by lazarus.

lazarus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My dad knew I had been inactive for a while, but I
> told him some of my problems with the church and
> why I wanted nothing to do with it. His response
> (after a long doctrinal discussion): "I still
> think all it will take is the right bishop or home
> teacher to come around and you will come back."

That brings back memories. How many times have I sat in EQ meeting when the lesson was on Home Teaching. They always had the story of the faithful home teacher who reclaims some inactive "lost soul." Usually it had to include some near tragedy. The "lost soul's" child is run over by a hit-and-run driver and the "lost soul" is beside himself with grief. But who is the first to show up at the hospital to lend moral support (and a super-duper, magic priesthood blessing)? That's right, the faithful home teacher. I always figured that the only way the home teacher knew the kid was in the hospital was that the home teacher was the hit and run driver. Running over the kid was part of the "reactivation" plan he came up with for the "lost soul."