Just finished reading a link from a FB friend re abusive husbands. Have no idea if said friend is speaking from experience but...

The headline reads "Isolation, Control, Humiliation, Coercion, Treats, Intimidation: Characteristics of an Abusive Husband".

Okay, so for some reason the cult comes to mind. We've got the Control, Humiliation, Coercion, Treats and Intimidation down pat. That should be pretty obvious from the tons of posts and bio stories and I'm an Exmormon videos. What about Isolation?

We know that LDS, Inc. flourished under the heavy jackboots of Briggy Young because they were isolated in the Utah valley. Now that they're, erm, a world wide cult, is there anyway that they can isolate their hapless members? They don't seem to be successful in isolating TBMs from the onslaught of the internet either. So my question is, what is the cult's current strategy for isolating their sheeple from the world?

The church can't literally punch you in the face.

The rest kinda ties in.

Ron

is no joke either,

Who hasn't come home from church or an interview feeling raped?

I sure drew the parallels.

I realized that minus a husband they wanted to take over the role of running my life.

I didn't work my hinny off getting myself into a position where I could leave him and gain contol of my life only to hand the reigns over to a committe of "husbands/big brothers" to run my life.

Yep! it's all the same. Abuse, blame the victim, contol, taking advantage, etc.....

you can't leave me, I love you.....

The Utah theocracy was deeply threatened when the railroad started bringing gentiles and their ideas and habits in Zion. The mindrape hasn't changed much though...it's still about how f#@ked up the person is and how perfect the church and its prophets are.

Conditional love, demeaning, dehumanizing, threatening, lying...the pattern of an abusive spouse projected onto a "Heavenly Father" and implanted into the innocent brains of children. Oh yeah, and they don't pay taxes and they pull the strings of government. Abusive spouse squared and cubed.

They're bogged down with church callings and church responsibilities. There isn't a whole lot of room for much else. They often avoid non-beleivers. They might "friend" a neighbor, but dump them when they find that person is not interested in converting. While they're not isolated among themselves, they can be isolated from the outside world...the "gentiles."

I think you're right, omreven. That would be the equivalent of the isolation symptom. The cult loads you up with all sorts of make work, stupid, pointless activities so that you don't have time to stop and think that you're being isolated from non-member friends. Heck, you are even isolated from your own TBM family!

The scary thing is while I was TBM, I didn't see what was happening until I noticed that I couldn't move up in my job due to poor performance, not enough to time at work to do enough, etc. I didn't have a network of friends or contacts outside of church (which is key to sales/marketing). I've only belatedly started making and keeping friends, that is when I walked away from the abuse. It sucks real bad for guys to realize that they've been abused by their cult "husbands".

That is so true. My neighbor became my "friend" until she realized I was only interseted in her as a friend, not in her church. She cut off all communication. Too bad for her. She doesn't get any more of my awesome recipes! LOL!

It was one of those "ah-hah" moments when I realized that I took from the church behavior that would have had my husband coming home to all of his belongings on the curb.

Very good comparison. And yes, there is isolation. This is why people feel "so alone" and cut off after they leave. They don't have ties to the community. They don't have those other dog owners at the doggie park who always go at the same time - they send the kids around the block with the dog while they make phone calls for the bishop, or prepare a lesson.

They didn't take that free class at the sewing store and never learned how to crochet those cool pan scrubbers and never met the woman with whom she would have started a business online. The free class was in the evening when her husband is doing his ward clerk job at church and she is home with the kids.

Also too bad she didn't finish her degree (the church said to start a family immediately) and can't really pencil it out so she can have a part time job to help pay the taxes, so her husband works two jobs and when he is home, he has his church jobs.

Imagine how isolated her life is.

Anagrammy

there are people like that on every religion. in fact, there are abusive atheists too.

i don't think it's got to do with religion. it's actually the antithesis to what the mormon church itself teaches --can't believe i'm saying that but that's true. that's regardless if joe smith was a chauvinistic crook or not. i know i know...fuck me...but i'm honest on my assessment.

I think it's got to do with his own insecurities. maybe he himself was abused when growing up.

having said that, i know of abusive wives too. abusive nazi mormon mothers, abusive brothers, abusive sisters and so on.

maybe in their mind they are trying to do what's right; just incompatible with most people's perception of normal.

there's also the possibility that she's blaming others for her own demise and her own inability to take charge of her own life. that happens quite a bit. they expect people to be sorry for them as an ego driven behavior. again, that happens regardless of god, religion, etc.

but what do i know anyway. my two cents.

I think 'treats' was supposed to be 'threats' but it is true.

The TSCC hands out 'treats' and claims its a full meal!

You get the blessings of cleaning the ward house!

You get the blessing of watching your child go on a mission!

You get a plate of cookies asking you to come back.

You get assigned friends who can't and don't function as friends. etc.

It is like the abusive family that allows a sibling to hurt their brother/sister then claims it 'loves' everyone and their family is all about 'love'.
The 'treat' is being part of the family!

And the threat is if you leave you'd be cut off from the abuse!