Time for mormon jokes!

Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.

Go to: Forum List•Message List•New Topic•Search•Log In

Posted by: helamonster ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 02:57PM

I'll start -

1) What's the difference between a redneck wedding and a mormon wedding? At the redneck wedding the bride is pregnant. At the mormon wedding, the bride's *mother* is pregnant.

2) What do you get when you cross a mormon with a lawyer? A basement full of stolen wheat.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: jon1 ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 03:32PM

Re: Time for mormon jokes!

What is the fewest number of Mormons you should ever take fishing? ......two.

If you take one he will drink all your beer, but if there are two or more they won't touch it.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: Duder ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 03:33PM

let me try

How many mormons does it take to screw up a marriage?

Two: my ex-wife and her bishop.

Thanks, folks. You've been a great audience.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: SpongeBob SquareGarments ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 03:34PM

another light bulb one

How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to insist that nothing's been changed.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2010 03:35PM by SpongeBob SquareGarments.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: SpongeBob SquareGarments ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 03:36PM

Missionary Joke

Q. Why do Mormon Missionaries hate Halloween so much?

A. Because they don't like strangers coming to the door ringing the bell.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: Duder ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 03:45PM

ghost tests

How can you tell whether a spirit is from God?

Ask it to pull your finger. If it be an evil spirit, you shall sense it.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: german lurker ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 04:18PM

cartoon (category: marginalized groups)

http://www.jojos-cartoons.de/randgruppen/mormonen.html

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: Jesus Smith ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 04:29PM

Re: Time for mormon jokes!

Fun pranks to pull in church.

Throw in a handful of candy in the middle of primary sharing time.

Tobasco sauce in sacrament cups

Changing the hymn number board to 666 or 6969

Donate Pesos or canadian money w/o a tithing slip

Insert a special DVD in the case, or tape porn over "Man's Search for Happiness"

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: CA girl ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 04:31PM

There are two ways to reason with a Mormon

And neither of them work.

(Credit goes to the bishop's 11 year old daughter who told her 6th grade class that this was her favorite quote.)

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: adoylelb ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 04:31PM

Re: Time for mormon jokes!

How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?

Several: one to do a blessing, one to change the light bulb, 2 witnesses to make sure it has been changed correctly, and the RS to provide punch and cookies.

How many Mormon leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

One, he just holds the light bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: mick ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 05:13PM

I got one

Q. How come mormons aren't allowed to have sex standing up?

A. Because it might lead to dancing

I told that one a TBM's house and they got pissed off.

Options: Reply•Quote

Posted by: Mormer Formon ( )
Date: November 08, 2010 05:52PM

Re: Time for mormon jokes!

Q. Why do mormons quit having babies at 35?

wait for it....

A. Because 36 is too damn many...

Options: Reply•Quote

Go to Topic: Previous•Next

Go to: Forum List•Message List•New Topic•Search•Log In

Screen Name:
Your Email (optional):
Subject: