Been a bit since I posted. Been super busy. I have a question for any one who may know..

I have a family member who lives in Northwest and she is in a relationship and they have a child together. They live together are not married etc. The relationship is severely messed up (he tapes her phone conversations, has members of his family driving around her work parking lot looking for her and who she is with, etc and so many other crazy things. She has been trying to end this relationship for a long time now. She has started filing for sole custody. Well she wants to go visit a family member in a neighboring state, and has been planning this trip for over 6 months and it is only a 4 day trip.

My gut tells me there is no law saying she can't do this without his permission and she honestly is just going to visit her sister that she has had limited contact with and they are reconnecting etc.

I just wanted to see if anyone knows about that sort of thing. It is a very scary situation and this guy is VOLATILE she doesn't know if he will try and say she is kidnapping him etc... he has done some very crazy things.

Hi There! I would check out the page here:

http://singleparents.about.com/od/legalissues/a/custody_laws.htm

Laws vary from state to state in this matter.

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney.

Good Luck!

She needs to get out of that house, out of that relationship and into a safehouse ASAP! Cut off all ties and make a run for it. No looking back. No explanations - just get out and don't say a word!

She could seek a battered woman's shelter until she can stay somewhere else. The advantage there is that he will be prohibited from harrassing and even communicating with her - if he even finds out where she is. That would give her some time to figure out what to do.

If she stays, this will not end well.

I have been trying to get her to leave and to encourage her that before he gets any worse and before things get anymore crazy she needed to try and get at the very least a stalking order or protection, change the locks and have the cops there if possible to make clear he is not allowed to come back.

A few years ago she did kick him out and for 24 hours decided not to be at the house. Well my mom stayed in the house and that night she heard the screen being taken out of the window, my mom turned on the light and by the time she got to the window she could see his car leaving. So he thought she was home and was trying to sneak in and do who knows what.

It is all very scary.

If the house is hers, she should get to a safehouse, and work with the counselors there to inquire about getting him out of the house via police and a restraining order.

Make sure she is documenting EVERYTHING that happens.

She is just so nervous of what he could do next. I told her non of that matters now but keeping her and her child safe and notifying the authorities and anyone else who can help her to help her get safely out of the situation.

Remind her that if she's that fearful, her inaction to get help is acknowledging that she's waiting for something dreadful to happen.

If this guy is that bad, it's not matter of "if." It is purely a matter of "when."

Please insist she call a battered women's hotline to get help.

of the Hell's Angles.

They live for this kind of work.

Lawyer and police. NOW!