Whatever humanity was or the science showed, Mormonism was the exception and I, likewise, was the exception. It was a difficult reflex to shake even after leaving the church. I've pretty much managed to move my identity off that position, but it has a pull. One of the conflicts I have had to resolve is I *do* feel the need to be an individual and yet also accept (mostly) consensus reality. The positive side of this has been that I am willing to entertain novel ideas, suspend judgment for a while, and be curious.

Anyone else deal with a sense of exceptionalism?



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/17/2011 03:04PM by robertb.

YES and it true....ha

Mormonism can make you think you're hot shit or that you're just a steaming pile of shit, depending on one's personality gong in.

ha, here's a link to just how exceptional you could be:

http://www.shunn.net/korihor/1997/08/im_special.html

"Hi, I'm you're neighbor. I'm a godlet. How about you?" :-)

In the interest of disclosure, as a convert I can't lay all my feelings on Mormonism. I have a mild disability that I became very self-conscious about as I grew up, so by the time I converted at 19, I felt fairly isolated. Mormonism gave me a context in which to see that isolation as being "special" and "exceptional." Much of my post-Mormon work has been to come to terms with being simply human and not creating a sense of specialness to deny my limitations.

Humor (if it's not too harsh) is so good at deflating this stuff.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/17/2011 08:48PM by robertb.

In the 40's a Dr. Snow wrote a book about recovering from mental illness. He cited "exceptionality" as a common obstacle to healthy living after a mental illness hospitalization.

The healthy counterpoint is to visualize yourself as a "man among men" or a "woman among women," no better no worse than anyone else striving for their dreams and a peaceful, productive life.

The delusion of being "special" or "chosen" or the "Elite Lady" or any such garbage is useful to Mormonism because it puts another illusion in their shopping cart to sell to suckers.

"Get your Temple Recommend right here and you, too, might see Christ and have your specialness endorsed - have your calling and election made sure. Have a visit with Jesus and get his autograph on your Temple Recommend..."

Or just be a grunt on the steaming pile of humanity.


Anagrammy



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/17/2011 08:42PM by anagrammy.

Oh, thanks for that reference, Anagrammy :-) What Snow says is true. Even feeling special about our wounds can be isolating. One of the things I deal with combat veterans is some of them feel their experiences are so extreme that no one can possibly understand them. I do acknowledge they have had exceptional experiences and a perspective most of us (thank God!) don't have and at the same they are human and we can build bridges in spite of having imperfect understanding and imperfect empathy. They teach me a lot.

Anagrammy wrote: Get your Temple Recommend right here and you, too, might see Christ and have your specialness endorsed - have your calling and election made sure. Have a visit with Jesus and get his autograph on your Temple Recommend..."

I was told that too by my dad, that if i prepared myself enuf (as a 12 yr old, mind you) that i could see spirits etc. in the temple. When i didn't, it was a letdown.

I later realized that that does not happen on a regular basis. (Now of course i'd say not at all.) But even then it was all a hoax to get people to go to the temple and to be more obedient before they go. And more obedient afterwards, so maybe the NEXT trip could be so specially spiritual.

And i was also taught as a youth that we were the 'special ones, saved for saturday, to come the last day of the world'. Then when i became an adult and no millenium, what was i to do with my sense of 'specialness' then. I had to go back to being just a 'normal' mormon.

And then to stop attending the lds church means to give up the specialness of being part of god's chosen group. I'd miss out on the 'adam-ondi-ahmen meeting, being part of the inner circle during the millenium because i was valient beforehand, etc. If i am wrong about my decision to not be mormon anymore, i have lost a lot of 'who i could have been'. That is one of the many things we give up when we leave. No matter how badly we felt about ourselves esteem-wise, there was the security of knowing we were part of god's elite servants on the planet and we would be rewarded for that later on.

But you know, i kind of like being 'just one of the crowd'. If i get fame it will be for something i did here- wrote a great book, became a movie star, invented or discovered something- not just because i belonged to 'the right' church, or had a fascinating pre-earth life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/18/2011 12:44AM by karin.

I think everyone assumes some exceptionalism: that's the nature of ego, to define "I" as different from others, to compete for survival, to feel good about oneself in contrast to someone apparently less good. It's also at the heart of judgmentalism. And see how it plays out, even on this board of recoverers, under the guise of being intolerant of those who are politically, socially, sexually, racially, or morally intolerant. (One recurrent irony is how judgmental posters are of some "Christian" spokesperson, like Pat Robertson, for being unchristianly judgmental.)

The paradox is that those who truly see themselves as no different from others--those others are Nobel Peace Laureates or child molesters--in other words, those who can see beneath all behaviors and conditionings to the common humanity, or spirit--those anti-exceptionalists are the true exceptions. In a world of separative egos, the one who recognizes the deep democracy of Being is distinctly different.

Anagrammy

Always love seeing your posts.

(Haven't run into the Upton Sinclair autobiography you mentioned months ago. But I think of it when I'm in a used bookstore. Thank you.)

That actually hurt my head to read, but in a good way. Thanks.