DH is a police officer, and on Friday he had to go down to the elementary school to pick something up. While he was there, he saw a TBM acquaintance's 8 year old son sitting in the hallway. He's usually a pretty good kid, so DH asked the principal why he was sitting there. The principal told DH to go back and look at the kids feet--and DH was HORRIFIED. Rather than buying the kid a pair of shoes that fit, the parents had cut the ends off his shoes so his toes were hanging out. And not just a little out--WAY out. The principal didn't want the kid running on the playground and hurting his feet, so he was calling the Salvation Army and other charity groups to see if anyone could track down a pair of shoes that fit the kid. DH said no, he needs to call the parents and tell them to buy their kid some shoes. They both have good blue collar jobs and make reasonable wages (they come eat at my restaurant once a week and its always a $50 ticket--I'd rather they buy their kid some shoes) and they need to know that what they did to this poor kid is wrong.

We all get in a tight spot financially sometimes. Had they been members of a different local Christian church and really needed some help, I know any pastor in town would have made sure all four of their boys had adequate clothing and shoes for the school year. Instead, they pay 10% to a cult that gives them nothing in return. If they went to the bishop he would tell them to pray harder and keep paying that 10%. If the Salvation Army steps in and buys the boy some shoes, the story will be told in Testimony Meeting about how they were so faithful and paid their tithing and when they needed shoes some were provided...Makes me sick. And sad for the boy. If I knew what size he needed, I would go buy him some shoes myself.

Stupid Cult.

with mormons, families always some first.

that's why we're more special than you.

That is tragic. Poor kid must have been humiliated.

Maybe they were waiting for God to come through.


Anagrammy

by making him sit in the hall? Surely there is a room in the school where he can be without the whole world looking and pointing while they are searching for shoes for him (or waiting for recess to be over).

Talk about adding insult to injury !!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/18/2011 12:20PM by dane.

and I'm certain he will never forget it and here's why I know. My SIL, who is 45, still sadly remembers being about that age and not being able to afford good shoes. My FIL was a school teacher with 4 kids, a sick wife with big medical bills and the tithing monkey on his shoulders. One year, SIL had to go to school with the soles of her shoes half off, flapping while she walked, because they couldn't afford to get her shoes fixed or replaced. Kids called her Ducky all year long. She still looks so sad when she tells this story and she'd literally skip meals to afford to buy shoes for a kid if she knew of one in that situation.

I really don't know how anyone could justify eating out when their child didn't have proper shoes. I couldn't justify eating at all. An inexpensive pair of shoes aren't that hard to manage - just fast one day a week for a week or two. Surely a child's self-esteem and sense of security are worth that.

I had a shirt in school that lasted four years not because I diednt grow because I did a bit and not because it was a good shirt it was terrible but because I had no choice.

Can I send money to the school via Paypal for this kid? Or to you Westernwillows, for your husband to get some shoes and drop them off at the school for him?

Surely $30-50 would buy the kid a pair of shoes, new, from Target or somewhere. They carry those made-for-Target version of Skechers and Converse, and Champion C-9 sneakers plus, last I was in the US they had an Earth Shoe brand of walking shoes there, like lace-up sneakers but with more of a lug sole and a toggle to tighten them rather than regular laces, for about $40.

Let me know. I could ship direct to you via Amazon, if I know a size.

Please post a thread for a followup. I feel moved for this kid and I want to help in any way I can. I'll gladly give $20.00. Please, I so want to help.

So let's say the kids gets some shoes donated, used or new, then the parents bare their testimonies about the blessings of tithing... Money was tight yadda yadda, we couldn't afford shoes BUT we paid tithing yadda yadda, and low and behold! Our obedience to the law of tithing came through and our son was blessed with some new shoes!

There was an Ensign story a lot like this one right before I quit paying our tithing. The story went with a single mom and her son needed shoes, but she only had enough for either tithing or shoes. The bishop encouraged her to pay tithing (why wouldn't he?)and after she did her son got a "new" pair of oversized shoes..... from the bishop. Oh man! That's inspirational!!!

Can you please post a link to this? I'm very interested.

http://lds.org/search?lang=eng&start=1&end=10&collection=magazines&query=Tithing+and+shoes

I couldn't find that exact story in my search, but then it has been years since I read the story, so I may have gotten details wrong, which is likely. :)

Hallmark of a cult...when you put the organization's needs (questionable though they are) ahead of your own or the needs of people who rely on you.

It's more than sad, it's tyranny.

I sympathize with this poor kid too (seems to be a trend among those of us who grew up TBM) Parents were always too busy paying tithing to make sure I had proper clothes...granted, I grew fast and was a tall lanky thing, but my ankles were always hanging out of my pants and my wrists out of my coat...kids are brutal about that kind of thing. Now I buy pants that are probably a bit too long because I can't stand the thought of my ankle showing.

I will make sure this kid has shoes. I'm hoping his parents buy him some (so we don't get the faith promoting tithing story) If I knew them better I'd take him to the store myself and let him pick some shoes out--but I don't think they know me well enough to let me borrow their kid for the afternoon, even though we've known each other for 5+ years. If I have to leave an anonymous pair of shoes on their doorstep that's what I'll do--but now they're on the radar, so I know the principal and teachers are looking out for him too.

The Student Resource Officer is a friend, and I asked him if the parents had bought him new shoes and he confirmed that yes, the boy has appropriate footwear now because he went to the parents house (after the principal called) and confirmed that they understood that they needed to buy their kids shoes NOW. He also checked on the other boys, and their shoes appeared adequate for the winter weather that's coming.

I guess no tithing blessings for this family!

Glad the shoes problem is resoved, but am worried about what else they are neglecting to provide. I guess I'm kinda glad it happened to put the "on the radar" for monitoring...

Tell your DH to go get the kids some shoes and I'll reimburse him. That's just bullshit.

Ron

I may have a selective memory, but I grew up in the 1960s to 1970s and a lot of kids didn't have A LOT. We got one pair of shoes a year and they had to last the year. We wore hand me downs all the time--but it seems everyone did, but maybe I'm wrong because

As a single mother, I made sure my kids had the clothes they needed to fit in so they wouldn't "stand out"--so obviously I must have suffered from the situation.

This is just ridiculous that this kid doesn't have shoes that fit. A pair of shoes from a discount store can be bought for $10.

I have such a soft spot for kids too. This really gets me grouchy to put it gently.

My 11 year old daughter ripped out her shoe last week at school. Her foot was hanging out too. My 13 year old daughter saw it, and decided to switch shoes with her despite them being too small and broken. She didn't want her little sister to have to go through the day like that. I love that kid. Any way, I went out that night and bought new shoes.

Oh yeah, my thirteen year old knows the church is a bunch of bunk. Yet somehow she managed to do something incredibly kind. I wonder how that happened?

That's a great story. :-D

You have a real sweetie on your hands. :)

Having been the son of a early widowed mother , I too had poverty issues --however this is plain disgusting. Go get the child some winter shoes and a winter coat and send me the bill.
OR Go get the parents and give them an "ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT" up front and personal..

KIDS COME FIRST !!!

JB

Shoes is only one of likely a long list of unmet needs for this child - most likely poor diet and lack of medical care too. So is it the job of neighbors to jump in and do what the parent should be doing?

This isn't an isolated incident I'm afraid. My own ex-wife refused to pay court-ordered child support to me when our daughter was still wearing diapers. But guess what I found in the diaper bag? Yes, a tithing slip.

This is what happens when people hand over all power of decision-making to a cult.

My Mother had a litter, not children.

He and his siblings were treated like a litter of pups, fed, dressed cheaply and kicked out of the way when they were in her way, which was often.

His third grade teacher bought him a pair of shoe laces because his laces had too many knots in them from being broken and re-tied. His mother would go get the kids three pairs of stiff pants at the beginning of school and they had to last all nine months. He said the zipper/fly would poke up when you sat down and made you look like you had a stick in your pocket.
He had three button up shirts also.

But his mother spent a lot on herself. She had a large knick knack shelf full of breakable figurines the kids got to dust frequently. She was not attentive, she was abusive.

The parents needed the attitude adjustment! You don't spend money on yourself eating out when your children need shoes! I can get a new pair for about 12 bucks, they aren't real fancy and one time the uppers were so porous my child complained of cold feet until I got him another pair. "Eating Out' at that time meant I bought a Little Ceasars Pizza! And we qualified for free lunch at school! There is no reason a child should be wearing shoes that far out of size!

I hope the parents were talked to! It would not help to buy shoes for the kid when the parents can and should!!!!!The problem is neglectful parents because they have the money to get the shoes...... they are spending the cost of two good pairs of shoes eating out!!!!!!