The LDS board on babycenter fails once again. This poor woman was anally raped by her husband and instead of advising her to call the police, the majority of them are telling them to go to the bishop and repent. WTF???

http://community.babycenter.com/post/a29478085/trigger_and_tmi-_advice_needed_from_active_lds_members

I read this thread also. It broke my heart that this poor woman felt like the only people should could turn to in her time of need and devastation was a bunch of self-righteous lds women.

Oh and it really bothered me how at the very beginning of her post she says "I want to hear things from a gospel perspective". In other words, "is my dh allowed to rape me according to gospel principles?"

Wow... what an awful thing. That poor woman.

I also love how most of them appear to be just as worried about the porn "problem" as they do with the rape.

Yeah, that was disturbing... her first thought after being violated was "he must be looking at porn again"... no, I'm sorry but your husband is simply an uncaring bastard.

The worst part is that she doesn't trust her own instincts and instead wants to be told what the church wants her to do in this situation...

A very sad story...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2011 07:54PM by strivingforbalance.

+1

Tragic

I read the first page of comments and some of those commenters are quite progressive, actually. Some of them say to leave her husband. I'm sure some dorks tell her to go repent...I just didn't read that far.

What's the "gospel perspective"? Didn't Jesus list sexual infidelity as one of the reasons for divorce? And I'd say rape is a form of sexual infidelity.

So, that would be my gospel perspective.

I thought anal sex was taboo in TSCC. Am I misinformed? If not, shouldn't the POS rapist husband "repent"??? And isn't rape a crime? Marriage is no carte blanche for rape, is it? Throw this POS rapist in jail where he belongs, IMO!!!

Full quote: "he decided to do it in a way that is crossing my lines and against guidance from the church."

It's enough for her to say that it was crossing her lines. Why the church thinks it needs to give guidance on such things is a mystery to me. (Of course why someone would enjoy that is a mystery to me too.) It's sad that she feels she has to add that it "was against guidance from the church" to make her unhappiness with the situation seem justified--as though it wouldn't be enough that she simply didn't want to do it. full stop. end of story.

I'm on page 8 of the comments, and so far every poster has agreed that her husband raped her...that's at least a start. Honestly, I was partially expecting some mollymo to say "it's his right as a priesthood holder". But in all fairness, many of the posts at least tell her to kick her husband out.

Yet nobody has presented the option to press charges. Many allude to repairing the marriage. Rape is a violent felony. Rapists spend 25 to life in a prison...

How do you stay married to a rapist? He violated every aspect of trust!

I feel horrible for the poor girl. Its a good sign that she is at least talking about it...

These are just my initial thoughts...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2011 07:43PM by Lost Mystic.

WTH??? This is awful!!!!

He forced himself on her and she needs to repent? Wowwww

Yeah. I just read one comment where a poster said the husband treated his wife "like a prostitute". That seemed like a very ignorant thing to say. As if rape is ever justified... even if sex is "paid for".

Sorry... that just rubbed me the wrong way. It's not like most prostitutes are in that line of work because it's a respected career.

And another poster said something to the effect of, "I'm inactive, but even I think rape is wrong." As if inactive members or non-members are all for sexual assault.

As for the woman here, I just feel sorry for her. I'm sure she's angry, in a lot of pain, and worried about her reputation and ability to take care of herself. She could press charges against her husband, but what would that mean for her? If she's TBM, will another "worthy" man want her? Will she have trouble supporting her child if her husband were to go to prison? Sounds to me like she's not thinking of pressing charges. If they simply divorce, will he rape some other woman?

It's easy for people to tell her what she should do in terms of going to the police or the bishop, but they aren't the ones who will be living with the consequences.

Just an awful, awful situation.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2011 08:08PM by knotheadusc.

alcoholics, and abusers of small furry animals??

That's the only reason, I've kept going to church all these years.

;o)

If history serves us, choice of orifice rests with the couple since Spencer W. Kimballs revelation of connubial anti-bliss was repealed by revolution of the masses in the 70's.

So people took back the control of their own orifices from the overlords. A rare case where Mormons actually unbowed their heads and said, "No."

The babycenter poster is asking a question which would be referred to "local authorities" for plausible deniability. She is under the delusion that there are moral issues in this religion which the General Authorities actually stand up against. She thinks others know where these lines are and she just needs to ask.

The answer to her question is that the church practices relative moralism and you will yet see them accept gays as human beings with full rights because it is impacting membership.

They may today reject the anus, but a later prophet will accept it. So there's no point in asking. Just figure out what YOU want to do yes/no with your orifices and other people forcing their way into any of them is a crime.

It's pretty simple when you step out of the labyrynth of silly string and gum that the Mormons have erected.

Anagrammy

Someone posted:

"I'm inactive and I still do not believe rape is ever ok"

WTF?????

Is that implying that after a certain period of inactivity people start believing rape is sometimes ok???

My bad...

She could be referring to the thread's title...

It wasn't until page 14 that someone mentioned pressing charges, which is a sad thing even though so far, everyone agreed that rape does happen in marriage.

I think the comment from the inactive person was because the victim only wanted active LDS posters, and the inactive person was saying that even though one isn't active, they still consider rape to be a crime.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/20/2011 08:51PM by adoylelb.

As a health professional I am bound by law to report this. I do not know the individuals involved;
P
Therefore IT IS REQUIRED BY LAW TO REPORT WHAT YOU KNOW. YOU MAY BE ANONYMOUS. YOU CAN ONLY HELP THE CHILD BY REPORTING WHAT YOU BELIEVE IS HAPPENING. Do you want both mother and baby to suffer because you are scared?

What if it were your baby? Be brave. Inform the authorities, and if all possible, non-LDS people. That may be the hard part. You must, must, must report this. Lie about your name. Just report this.

This story has made me so angry & sad.

Her not reporting him to the police reminds me of why I didn't tell anyone as a 6 year old child about being sexually assaulted (I call it an assault, even though it wasn't rape, for various reasons). You see, I had been sexually abused before by someone else for years, & if I had told, I would have been branded many things including a liar. No one would have sided with me, everyone would have sided with the molester, who was a TBM priesthood holding teenage boy. Everyone would have said that I was ruining his life. My only consolation is that after this asshole got home from his mission, his life started falling apart, & that his life is really bad now.

I really hope this woman goes to the police.