When are they going to tell the sheeple to quit doing that shit because when the shit hits the fan, the neighbors are going to kill you all and steal your food?

They don't REALLY think they can have a year's supply of food and nobody's gonna try to take it away do they? Either neighbors will kill them or some government agency is going to commandeer it.

Idiots.

Ron

That's why they also stockpile guns! Pray and pass the ammunition, brutha!

Ziller once had a gig selling “Life Insurance in a Can” or, in other words, food storage.

Ziller’s core business was the Mormon faithful who were laboring under a moral obligation to buy food storage in the name of following the guidance of their Mormon false Profit.

Sadly, these same Mormon faithful were also laboring under a moral obligation to obey the Law of Tithing, and the Law of Childbearing, and the Law of Give-All-of-Your-Spare-Time-to-the-so-called-Churching.

In other words - they were perpetually broke.

Your average Mormon faithful family, the ones in most in need of Ziller’s product, was usually simply unable to drop the one or two month’s salary required to purchase a basic two-year supply of quality canned food storage.

But Ziller, in a “stroke of pure sales genius”, developed a “Case-of-the Month” Program in which YOU could begin building up and replenishing YOUR two-year supply of food storage once-per-month FOR LESS than your monthly water bill!!!

Thus the Mormon faithful became Ziller’s “bread and butter” in this business of pimping the virtues of food storage while he searched for the elusive “steak” of an occasional sale of a “Deluxe Safe & Secure Unit” (a two-year supply of delicious, nutritious food for one person, or a one-year supply for two people!) to a rich paranoid gentile businessman.

Why, in fact, as Ziller recollects this story, Ziller can remember standing in the kitchen of a teary-eyed Mormon housewife as she faithfully handed teen-aged Ziller a check for a $30 (plus tax) case of six #10 cans of nitrogen-sealed dehydrated green beans and asked in a breaking voice, “You are going on a mission, right?”

Teen-aged Ziller had already decided that the Book of Mormon was 100% pure grade “A” bullchips. But there was, at that time, a small possibility that Ziller could still been have to “forced” to serve a mission through “peer pressure” and influence by the parental unit.

So, in true sales style, Ziller replied, “Yes, of course.”

Ziller never served a mission but booked the sale!

Anyway, Tabula Rasa’s post reminds Ziller of the time Ziller had “a BRUSH with pure sales genius” and survived.

Though an stealthy networking campaign, (and this was in the pre-internet days and before anyone ever thought of calling it “stealthy” or “networking”) Ziller was able to get the name and phone number of the Leader of the Local Chapter of a group of right-wing nut-jobs that would make Ezra Taft Benson’s politics look like that of a God-less ultra-commie dope-fiend.

Surely such a group would be a perfect target market for Ziller’s “Life Insurance in a Can” right?

One day, Ziller called the Leader of the Local Chapter (and this was before Ziller learned the value of having a couple of “belts” in the morning to improve one’s sales skills.)

Ziller introduced himself as a purveyor of quality canned food storage and suggested a meeting with the Local Chapter during which Ziller could explain and demonstrate the product and perhaps help the members of the Local Chapter with their food storage needs.

The Leader of the Local Chapter informed Ziller that most of the members of the Local Chapter stored guns and ammo and knew where to get food if they needed any.

Click.

F A I L

Peeking-out-from-behind-the blindsingly yours,

ziller



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/21/2011 08:08PM by ziller.