From today's Provo Herald Thomas S. Monson is quoted as saying, "Temples answer those soul-searching questions of the purpose of life, of why we are here and where we are going."

The quote is from this article on the ground-breaking for the Payson Temple:

http://www.heraldextra.com/special-section/article_e24e306b-8ee5-5224-aa25-bc1f121d3593.html

I have to admit, I never had any of those soul-searching questions answered in the temple. I can't remember the temple answering them anymore than what I was told before I went in. All I can remember is wearing funny clothes and acting out killing myself. They sure do try to make the temple sound like some fantastic experience, but I don't remember ever thinking that it was very uplifting. I've never asked my children what they thought of their temple experience, but I remember one young guy I know telling me after he received his "endowments" prior to his mission that he went through the whole ceremony wondering if this was really the same church he had grown up in.

We're here to give whatever the church asks.

Where are we going? To a bunch of meetings, to more temple sessions, to a living hell.

Q: Why am I here?

A: Because its ward temple night and my EQP has been riding my a$$ about not attending and my wife won't put out if I skip it again.

Q: Where am I going?

A: Hmmmm.....IHOP or Denny's......mmmmm.....waffles......

Lol!

Monson = Tom Sawyer
You = Huckelberry Finn
Mormon Temple = Fence to paint

Monson, "Fence painting (Temples) answer those soul-searching questions of the purpose of life.....you should get a brush and can of paint and try it.....nah,...I don't know if you are ready to take that giant spiritual step yet....Are you?"

You, "Do you promise? Can I really learn and grow spiritually?"

Monson, "Most do...."

You, "Well ok then give me a brush!!!" (excitement in voice like a young child)

Monson, "Well hold on there a second little one,...how bout we find out if your ready for fence painting .....how bout a few questions to determine your level of committment. This here fence painting is serious stuff....mysteries of the soul don't come round every day ya know"

You, "Well ok....but can I paint the fence today or do I have to wait?"

Monson, (Thinking to himself) Holy freaking Mary Mother of Jesus that was the easiest way to get my fence painted that I have ever thought of. Note to self: Sucker born every minute may just be true.....I wonder if anyone else will fall for this shit? I gotta learn me that intra-net stuff and publish this....


Moral of story: Don't believe everything you hear and see others believing.

Mark Twain was a genius

Purpose of Life:To give your money and time to the church.
Why we are here:To give our money and time to the church.
Where are we going:To that curtain to give a really old guy a hug and then hang out in an expensive hotel lobby.

Right on!

"This isn't the church I was raised in." It had NOTHING to do with what my experience in mormonism had been. The thought also went through my mind about "rituals." I had been taught that we were not a religion of rituals like the Catholics, etc.

Some people say they were glad they never made it to the temple. I had to get there or I could never have left--I would have always thought I was missing out on something great and glorious. Once you've been through, all the mystery is gone.

How can anyone in their right mind contemplate their own existence wearing a toga and baker's hat?

Ron

The dam elastic was always so f'ing tight on the hat that it left a mark on my forehead like I had been at a frat party with fruit of the loom's on my head all night. Drove me nuts!!!!

So true! You see all the guys walking around afterwards with that stupid red line around their forehaeads.

that the answers to those soul searching questions are imbedded in your forehead. The locker room mirror is a great Urim and Thummim in which you will see the answers after you return from the Celestial Room. That is, unless you are not worthy due to some unknown sin of ommission.

Boilermaker Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "From today's Provo Herald Thomas S. Monson is
> quoted as saying, "Temples answer those
> soul-searching questions of the purpose of life,
> of why we are here and where we are going.""

Christ....talk about deflecting the question/issue....

The PROPHET for the one true church CAN'T answer questions posed by his flock???

He has the "Temple" answer the questions????

What an ass

1. how do you say "oh God, hear the words of my mouth" in the original Adamic Language

2. who will go down.

+1

Apparantly Monson didn't get the memo. We already know the answer to life, the universe, and everything. It's 42 ;)

+1!!!!!!! :)

I went to the Washington DC temple (1975, as I recall) filled with antici . . . pation and excitement about learning important stuff and having all those "soul-searching" questions answered. What a let down! I felt silly in that goofy costume. I didn't learn anything I didn't already know. Yet even after being bummed and disappointed I remained a TBM for another twenty-five years. How stupid is that?!?!

But, hey, I could use that goofy costume now. I would wear it on Halloween and scare the beJezus out of little kids at the front door.

permanently damage the neighborhood kids like that. There was a study once that found that 4 out of 5 children under the age of 10 were permanently harmed by just the sight of an adult dressed up in the full temple costume.

One child was found rocking himself in the corner of a room mumbling about how he never wanted to become an adult. Another child used scissors to cut up all of his mother's shower caps and aprons, screaming, "keep them away from me!" Yet another child could be thrown into paroxysms of extreme fear and trembling that lasted for days just by hearing the phrase "white jumpsuit."

You've got to be careful with that temple stuff.

;o)

they give such useful information for nosy, assholes who love pressing their religion onto you to tell you how they received revelations about oh lets say..... your husband dying at a young age... that your mother in law loves to tell you WHILE your husband is deployed to Iraq.... yeah gotta love those places... they answer the most important questions in life, like how to torture your daughter in law.

Only if life's big, soul-searching question is WTF? And I believe you leave the temple asking that question, not answering it.

The first thing to dawn on me when I entered the Temple as an adult "ahhhh, that's where my money went..."

Sorry. I think most of it probably went to BYU. The temple was a close second.

Yea, there is nothing there to answer those questions in any more detail than what you knew already. It was a let-down. The dialogue is taken from Genesis/PofGP and from the Masonic ceremony.

I'm STILL trying to figure out what the handshakes are for! I'm still trying to figure out why I had to promise to live the law of chastity, etc. I mean I thought I already HAD committed to living that stuff!?!

I used to sit in the hotel lobby (i.e., celestial room) and ponder the meaning of everything and honestly, the temple just confused me more. I couldn't find a place to put the handshakes and genital touching...

It's kind of sad when the answers to life's most important questions are:

1. Wear the toga over the left shoulder. No! Wait! Wear the toga over the right shoulder!

2. Tie the bow on the left side. No! Wait! Tie the bow on the right side!

3. The true order of prayer involves doing the Hokey-Pokey.

4. Super-secret handshakes.

What the hell kind of questions are we answering here?

Purpose of life: to touch / get touched while naked
Why am i here: to get touched in a WRONG weird way
where am i going: home, where i can touch/ be touched in a good way. :)

and the definition was illustrated with a photo of Thomas S. Monson with his mouth open, apparently saying something trite and banal as if it were original or significant.

Then I looked up the word "prevaricate" and, again, the defintion was illustrated with a photo of Thomas S. Monson with his mouth open, apparently saying something falsely and with deliberate intent to deceive.

Then I looked up the word "gassy" and, to my amazement, there again the definition was illustrated with a photo of Thomas S. Monson with his mouth open....

So what exactly did he say? Oh yeah: "Temples answer those soul-searching questions of the purpose of life, of why we are here and where we are going."

Does he think we don't know what goes on inside the temple? Does he think we don't know that it's all about handshakes and aprons and floppy hats and sashes and playing "Simon Says," jumping up and sitting down on cue, flipping your sash from side-to-side on cue, standing in a circle and chanting "hear the words of my mouth" and watching a movie that doesn't add anything in the way of new information?

When does it answer where we are going? I mean seriously, calling an overdecorated room the "Celestial Room" and having people pass through a bedsheet to get in there isn't exactly a satisfactory answer to the question "where are we going?" And the temple doesn't tell you anything about the "why we're here" that you can't hear elsewhere very easily--false as it is.

But maybe, just maybe, he means that for those who are really observant, the answers can be deduced by seeing what the temple is "REALLY" about.

Why are we here? To submit to the control of a small group of men who claim to be our "General Authorities," to pay tithing to them so that they can keep their little game going, to buy our underwear from them and then to spend the rest of our lives picking their underwear out of our butt cracks after being auto-wedgied for the umpteenth time.

Where are we going? If we're temple-going Mormons, we're going nowhere--except back to the locker room to change into normal person clothes.

The main question that is answered in the temple is, "what do the Emperor's new clothes look like?"

My Bishop told us that every time he goes to the temple he is astounded at how beautiful and nicely designed the Emperor's new clothes are.

The Stake High-Councilman's talk emphasized that every time he goes he notices something new and wonderful about the Emperor's new clothes.

I'm sorry but I can't actually tell you what the Emperor's new clothes look like, they are too sublime. You'll have to become worthy to go to the temple and see for yourself. Of course, being worthy means you are in tune with the spirit enough so that you too will see how wonderful the emperor's new clothes are. What's that, you say that you didn't see the Emperor's new clothes? What's wrong with you? Have you been watching porn? Neglecting your prayer and scripture reading? Are there unresolved sins that need to be confessed to the proper authorities? Everyone else saw how wonderful the Emperor's new clothes were, what's wrong with you?

Exactly ...

My parents were married in 1935 in the Cardston Alberta temple. They were dirt poor and it took several days to travel there and back, even from west-central Montana.

I was the 5th of 6 kids that they raised, and I was sent to college to get an education. My Dad never even finished 8th grade.

I spent nearly 40 years of my life in the church and trying to avoid going to the temple. My parents went once, on the day they were married, and never went back.

Makes me wonder who really was the wise one? Me, or my Dad?

Nearly everything of importance I learned from him. The church and Temple? Not so much.