I was reading another thread about the temple and the thought occured to me: "I never really took the temple covenants seriously."

In fact, even while I was making them I remember having the feeling of crossing my fingers behind my back because after a lifetime of repenting every single day and promising elohim every time that I would "never do it again" only to do that same thing the next day or soon thereafter, I think I was pretty well-trained at making promises to god I had no intention of keeping.

Did anyone else experience this? Did you take your covenants with a grain of salt? Or were you constantly stressed out over them?

All are welcome to post on this thread. Come one, come all. No need to take out your wallets....

I promised to never lust after a woman.....but at the same time I was thinking, " Are you really serious? Do people do that with their mind, body, spirit? Because women are freaking sexy and hot!"

I NEVER thought it could be done.....I lusted day and night on my mission and come to find out .....that's normal. Wow, who would have know?

The first times (own endowment and during mtc and mish) I did take it seriously but I was very naive and impressionnable.
But for a while I did not go because my temp rec was no longer valid and I didn't want to have to go through two interviews to get a new one (there is something not very right about being a young woman in a small closed room with a man in 'authority') Anyways, eventually I did it and went back after many many years of not going, and when came the part of Lucifer saying that if those at the alter making the covenants today don't keep them..."they will be in my power", I wanted to burst out laughing it took all I had not to do it (and I was remembering how that part had impressed me at 21) I think that moment was one of those factors that cumulated that ended up bringing me here. ;-)

because I was afraid to stop wearing garments even years after I quit attending church--but I'd only stopped believing a year before I stopped wearing garments. I went to my exmo therapist to ask him about garments--because even my daughter and niece were asking why I still wore them. My therapist sent me to this board and I did a search for garments and read threads about garments. I laughed until I cried.

BUT all the throat slashing, etc. Another one of those things in my life where my brain was shouting, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?" I hated the temple, but I was actually relieved it wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be. (I have a very vivid imagination.) I tried to pretend it was special, but my feeling was more that I wanted to be able to go there and sit and meditate, but they don't allow you to do that. I've said it before, the longest I ever meditated in the temple was the last time I went. I got pulled aside to do sealings with some dork (sorry, but he was). Why they didn't pull my husband aside, too. That was it--I never went back--but I had to wait for my husband who was in an endowment session and I sat in the foyer and meditated for about an hour. Most peace I ever had in the temple--IN THE FOYER. Never went back.

**No repentence here--I lived in absolute fear of ever having to confess anything to a bishop--I'd have had to end my life rather than go through that, except for my uneasy feelings about my experience with the leadership over my gay ex and I getting married and all the voyeurism that went on with that--it was unbelievable what they put us through. BUT I was afraid of going to the temple unless I was PERFECT as I was afraid they'd be able to tell if I'd done ANYTHING.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/28/2011 12:17PM by cl2.

BTW, the cycle of repentence (therefore including the high frequency of it) thing was brought to you by TSCC, so they would be to one to blame if that affects the ability to take the temple covenants seriously.. simple logic ;)

"the ones to blame"