I remember reading a post where a coworker said to a morg--You are smart you will figure your way out. Or something to the effect.

This poster said that she eventually started researching and left. I thought this was agood low key approach that compliments the the person as being smart and then lets them wonder what they are missing. I work outside Washington DC and run into Morgs fairly often and want to help them out of the trap.

I would say it was a good approach, as this won't feed into their "being misunderstood and persecuted" psyche.
I reacted much more positive than being attacked for my beliefs. Still am :)

I think that everyone who leaves because of the history leaves because they are looking for truth. I know so many people who the history doesn't even effect them because they don't care. They are afraid of change and want to just stay in there little mormon cult. So if the person sincerely wants to know and is some what open minded then this approach would work. But there is just so many people who no matter what you do will never listen.

the things that started the wheels in my head as a mishie were the nonconfrontational ones, the ones that didn't try to disprove doctrine. What ended up working with me was separating "me" from the church. Those who showed genuine sympathy for me as a person were most effective. Even strong points like "I feel so sorry that you're spending all this time doing this," and such.

IME the best approaches ignore crappy doctrine and contradictions, and isolate the elder from the org.

Another effective one was them positive preaching to me. Rather than tear down my beliefs, they just flipped it positive and commented on the beauty of the trees, the goodness in people, etc.

It is a very respectful statement in the sense that it is not putting you above them, especially if it is said sincerely. I would modify it just a little to:

You're smart; you'll figure IT out.

Someone commented last week that a good strategy was not to attack the church but sympathize with the added demands the church keeps putting on the members. Like "You have to go clean your church this Saturday? Can't afford janitors, huh? Well, that's so nice of you to take time out of your schedule and volunteer to help. You are so busy. Have fun." Something where you don't make them feel there is anything wrong with their church but you sure wish they didn't have to sacrifice so much to follow it.

It sounds good. I always believed that you'll never get anywhere with someone if you argue with them.

With TBM's they feel inextricably tied to the church. If they feel you are "attacking" the church they feel you are attacking them. You have to find a way to frame the conversation so that you are separating them from the church and THEY don't feel attacked.

Adult of God -- That is a good wording suggestion, thanks.

Quoth the raven "Nevermo" Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I remember reading a post where a coworker said to
> a morg--You are smart you will figure your way
> out. Or something to the effect.
>


I wouldn't have liked that. Some Mormons take the same type of approach to exmos: "You're a good person, you'll find your way back".

That's somebody flattering THEMSELVES by telling the other person that someday they'll be enlightened enough to agree with them.

That's the way I see it.

...until I left:

While sharing Books of Mormon, or trying to share, BoMs with people in southern France, a young guy about my age (22 - I was a female mish) sat down and asked me about "my" book. After spewing the usual schtuff, he said it was interesting but then asked if I had a Bible (which I did have).

He nicely, and respectfully turned to certain passages and talked about them and how they contradicted what I was saying about the BoM. I was amazed at his knowledge, kind approach, and sincerity. He was casual yet thoughtful as well. It was his whole demeanor. I envy people like that; I'm too hyper in real life and lack the zen-ness of this guy.

He thanked me for talking, smiled nicely and then left me standing there wondering how I would dispute what he said. I just created another pathway in my brain around his discussion but his words and demeanor never left me.

Fortunately, I decided to veer towards it many years later.