When my husband was questioning, or even mentally out and I didn't know yet, he displayed signs that I should have picked up on. Here are a couple...

1. He stopped wearing a white dress shirt to church. Although he did wear some nice plaid or solid color dress shirts, the white ones stayed in the closet.

2. He stopped wearing ties to church.

3. He NEVER went to Sunday School and hung out on the halls.

4. He would "forget" to pick up a tithing slip

5. He stopped volunteering to do extra church related stuff.

6. He would drag his feet to make it to SM on time

7. He NEVER brought his scriptures

Its funny now to see those as "red flags," but it's easy to spot a questioning member now.

Yeah, I got called into the bishop's office for wearing a blue shirt once.

I literally told him, "I'd love to stay and talk about it but I need to go kill a couple hookers."

We knew each other pretty well and he knows I'm pretty sarcastic, still, he got my point.

I think the white shirt thing is lame. At least you were wearing a shirt...it could have been worse.

Can anyone point out where the official instruction to wear a White shirt is contained?

Stumbling Wrote:
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> Can anyone point out where the official
> instruction to wear a White shirt is contained?


D&C 47 1/2. From there you catch the train to the school of the Hogprophets.

I started doing those too.

He skips Sunday School to go smoke in the parking lot with the Priests.

He reads exmormon.org on his iPhone during sacrament meeting.

He wears a sticky back name tag to the ward dinner saying "Hello, My New Name is Mosiah"

When he's 90 he wears his garments on the outside of his street closes...wait, maybe that one has nothing to do with questioning Mormonism.

Once when I was 15 I was told I couldn't pass the sacrament because I didn't have on a white shirt. Yet the 1st counselor's son, whose hair still smelled like pot from his party the night before, was allowed to pass.

We moved to Provo Utah when i was a Teacher and the first Sunday there my mom got us new church clothes (including little vests to wear over our white shirts) and my brother and I weren't allowed to pass the sacrament unless we took the vests off! NO KIDDING! Luckily now most of my family see's the church for what it is and have left. But I'll never forget how stupid that was!

I stopped wearing white dress shirts when I knew the church was false. I was the Young Men's President and after a few weeks of blue, yellow, or *gasp* red dress shirts our Bishop called me in and told me to knock off the non-white dress shirts or he'd have to release me. Something about "The Uniform of the Priesthood". I was released a few weeks later.

Skips Sunday School to go get coffee at Starbucks.
Finds reasons to not wear garments
Stops paying attention at Sunday meetings
Finds reasons to not attend Sunday meetings
Not seen around the church building as much during the week
Doesn't goes to tithing settlement
Stops paying tithing (full)

Guilty on every single count

Wearing sandals? Pants?

The signs for me were asking obvious questions and sitting back not participating in testimony sessions.

very good point, Cheryl. As much as men get scowled at for non-white shirts I'll bet a woman wearing pants must stick out like a sore thumb.

I never really liked them before, but something about the sight of a guy with super-short hair, wearing a short-sleeved white shirt that is not part of a tux, just makes my insides curl with distaste...

S'why I don't wanna watch Mad Men.

I have never had anyone tell me I shouldn't wear a colored shirt. I like colored shirts! I've noticed there are always a few men wearing them and I think it is a fashion trend that is slowly catching on.

I think as long as you dress nice you are fine. I wear a nice suit and a nice colored shirt and I look great, even if I have to say so!

I'm confident that if it does catch on, the leadership will have five talks at the next conference about "being reverent at sacrament meeting" and crap, and the temporary burst of individuality will be squashed.

EDIT: At my old YSA ward, there was a rule that you couldn't bless or pass without a white shirt, as if the dye color would mix with the bread. Ugh!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2011 01:26PM by silverlightx.

Quite a few years ago,a female friend and I about made some TBM heads explode. I went to church in a kilt (which most would consider a skirt), and she went in slacks. People glared at us the whole time. It was wonderful.

And what did you wear under your kilt? lol

>1. He stopped wearing a white dress shirt to church.<
Shirt color was no big deal, except if you were in the bishopric.

>2. He stopped wearing ties to church.<
Also not that big a deal, though most men did wear one--and they weren't necessarily conservative ties

>7. He NEVER brought his scriptures<
Only people who needed them to give a lesson or talk brought their scriptures. Well, and a few oddballs

Mormon culture has changed a lot since the '70s. It has become much more about outward appearances and silly rules.

And my gay cheating ex was over the top TBM and I was chastised constantly for my lack of devotion . . . He STILL isn't over the fact I wouldn't go to bishopric temple nights with him (around 1990).

I actually didn't realize I was questioning, but I had A LOT of issues.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2011 10:54AM by cl2.

Hanging out in nursery instead of godspill doctrine class. That's my classic move. Those kids are way f-ing more insightful than any mature TBM.

I'd have left a few years ago if it wasn't for my wife and I having a nursery calling. I love those kids. They still give me hugs when I see them.

Don't hit.
Share your toys.
Say you're sorry if you hurt somebody.
Goldfish and marshmallows make any meeting better. etc. etc.

Now those are gospel principles I can support.

Just for the record, I have never been married to heather. I did wonder if she was my ex by the description in the post though...

the ward I was in the longest had a SS teacher named...Brother Hall. Yup, that was the SS class I was in: the Hall class.

I've been doing all of those for years - at least 10 years before I ever started doubting the doctrine!

Raising your hand in gospel doctrine class and saying, "Yes, but..."

Not closing eyes in prayers.

She was soooooooo upset at me for not being respectful during a prayer, since my eyes were open. Ummmmmmm...... how did she know? That would have meant her eyes were open too. But I guess that's different...

1. He stopped wearing a white dress shirt to church. Although he did wear some nice plaid or solid color dress shirts, the white ones stayed in the closet.

Check. Hated the conformity. True, ecru implies spinelesslness, but its a start!

2. He stopped wearing ties to church.

ahhhh, hmmmmm. Not really. The closest I got was taking my tie off the second the prayer was said. To this day, the word "amen" elicits a gag reflex where I have to rip my tie off.

3. He NEVER went to Sunday School and hung out on the halls.

Check. I would expand that to Sacrament Meeting and watching my two year old daughter like a hawk of ANY sign of a squirm so I could take her out in the hall or, better yet, outside. ("squirm" is defined as movement).

4. He would "forget" to pick up a tithing slip

What's a tithing slip?

5. He stopped volunteering to do extra church related stuff.

Depends. I liked helping people who NEEDED it. And they NEVER needed anyone to go home teaching, give a talk, do temple work, or do anything religion related. But if they NEEDED it I was happy to help.

6. He would drag his feet to make it to SM on time

I got that beat. See #3. Absense beats late.

7. He NEVER brought his scriptures

And why NOT? He may have been bored by them by I say it depends on what you use 'em for. My specialty was obscure, and/or violent passages to provide opposing viewpoints for whatever the teacher was trying to say at the time.

Did I pass???

And the story of your daughter was funny. Any, ANY time one of our kids started to get fidgety my husband would take them out and then stay out the entire time.