In my YBU days (the reign of Dallin Oaks), I used to sneak over to the Sambo's in Provo for a cup of coffee.

Of course, I was soon busted when my coffee-serving waitress confronted me very publicly in the middle of campus.

Where did y'all go to get your wicked hot caffeine?

Oh the irony! A caffeine dealer calling out a caffeine user.

Was then, probably worse now!

but not about coffee - about totally harmless Dr. Pepper. When I was in the MTC, my companion needed to go to the mall for something so we got permission to go on our P-day. One of the trials of the MTC for me was getting over my Dr. Pepper addiction. So at the mall, I picked up a 6-pack and very stupidly, just carried it instead of hiding it in my backpack. But I was from CA and everyone Mormon I knew either drank Coke/Pepsi/Dr. P or didn't care if you did. I forgot I was in Provo (circa 1990). Some self-righteous beyotch walked right up to me and said "You are a missionary and you are taking Dr. Pepper into the MTC?" I guess we were pretty obvious MTC missionaries. I just laughed and said "Yep, smuggling it in" at which point she gave me a very disapproving glare and stomped off. I couldn't believe the outrageousness of a total stranger coming up to me in the mall and questioning me about what SODA I was drinking and still, to this day wish I'd come up with a better smart @ss comeback but since I was wearing my nametag and had a very uncommon maiden name, it's probably better I didn't say anything. I wouldn't have put it past someone like that to call the MTC and try to make trouble for me. And the weird thing is, this wasn't an elderly church lady - she was probably in her early to mid 30s. Sicko.

The Dairy Queen just off campus in Rexburg....and I smuggled a case of beer into my dorm room in January '66...

Many years ago on my mission (not MTC), I used to order (through a local distributor), 2 cases of Coke each week. I think I drank more coke on my mission than ever before.

The beer confession above by andyb reminded me of my friend at BYU who smuggled a 12 pack into the dorms but had a TBM roommate. He was so lonely and yet desperate to get drunk that he squeezed himself into the cloak/wardrobe cabinet with his six pack and started drinking....and drinking.....and drinking. His roomie came back with some friends and hanging out in the room so he couldn't make a safe exit and stayed in the cabinet and just poped a few more.......pretty soon he fell asleep and started snooring. Well the roomie hears him and opens the door and he falls out of the closet drunker than a sailor with empty cans of beer stinking him up and then pukes on the carpet. hahaha....good times.

Done my share of puking a YBU. I partied quite a bit there with enhancements other than just beer. Yep. Had some fun. Poor TBMers. Actually had a bottle of vino with a girl who is now a well-known TBMer there. Oh wait. Actually, two well-known TBM girls. Haha.

have students (faculty, staff) ever been hauled to the (whatever) 'standards'? for drinking coffee? Really?

Yep, coffee is a big deal. I know a girl who got disciplined for brewing her own in her dorm room

Coffee would have been better of course. I think I had Diet Coke from time to time as well. It was one of those gray-area substances. The Pharisees on campus were 100% certain that it was prohibited by God, but they couldn't point to anything official. They just had to extrapolate and codify their own fanatical interpretations and then attempt to beat everyone else down with their contempt for lazy, backsliding Mormons who didn't understand that following the "spirit of the law" always means an expansion of the law to make it ten times more oppressive and comprehensive than the text of the law might indicate to a reasonable person.

On my mission there was a claim running amok that caffeine was more addictive than nicotine, once you start you can’t kick the habit. All three of my roommates wouldn’t let the issue drop. My father worked at CDC so I wrote him. He confirmed that it was hogwash. The next P-day I bought a 6 pack of Pepsi and chugged all 6 in rapid succession. Then I didn’t have another one for the last 6 month of my mission. Not exactly a scientific experiment but as long as I was on the wagon I had a personal anecdote to fall back on when they tried to claim how addictive caffeine was.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/07/2011 08:39AM by peregrine.

You showed them.

My Bishop tell a joke about mormons (because of his cognative disonance)....."What's the difference between a temple recomend holding ward member and an unworthy member?" Answer: The temperature of their caffine drink.

Pharisee Bishop by admission.