Please allow me to vent today. A couple of weeks ago I was at church and felt angry, angry at the lies, the deceit, the manipulation, the stealing of people's individuality and above all the taking of their money. I said a few things very much out of character for me to a friend of mine who's always been a TBM with a big conflict between her own thinking and her absolute belief. She was very surprised.

One the first sites I began to read without running away was momonthink, in it I found something about tithing. I finished the article thinking they just don't understand that it is not about money but about faith. I would come across the phrase 'pay, pray and obey' and would think the same, they don't understand that it is more than blind obedience. However, as I read and as I learn I become more and more appalled at how I perceive the Church. I attend meetings and listen to talks and all the sublime messages stand out. I feel angry, I want to tell the very amazing TBM family to stop paying. I want to tell the single mom to find herself a man who is not mormon. I want to tell the investigator to run. I want to tell the arrogant people to endure to the end, they do belong there afterall. =) I'm discovering things about myself I didn't know before, or maybe rediscovering things I had forgotten about the real me. Week after week and little by little I'm not belonging there anymore, I don't think I've ever fitted well anyway, but it's not easy to leave.

Someone wrote on this board sometime ago that her mother would tell her 'you are brainwashed' and when her mother visited Utah she would say 'they're all branwashed'. Well I feel a little like that, I am constantly thinking this is brainwashing.

I am mad at myself because the red flags were always there and I just ignored them. I understand that being angry is part of the process but today I just want to share my anger with you because I KNOW most of you will understand. Is there anything worse than feeling betrayed, lied to or taken for a fool? That is how I feel today. And I'm angry at all the money and time I gave the Church even when at times was difficult, because I believed. I'm angry at how I molded my life to be obedient because I believed. Of course I am grateful for many things the Church brought to me, but being lied to or made believe that you should fit a mold is too big of a price.

Thanks for reading.

D

and this is THE place to vent!! do ya have a spouse and kids in?? ya cant just get fed up one day and yell...I AM MAD AS HELL AND I AM NOT TAKING IT ANYMORE!! :)

I hear your rage and fury loud and clear. There is a reason people need to "recover" from mormonism. You are getting part of the taste now. Hope to hear more from you.

Thanks Rodolfo, you're right in pointing out that people need to recover from mormonism, I never imagined it would be like a real 'recovery'.

Bignevermo, I guess I could just take off one day but there are other issues involved for the moment. I was even thinking of attending the exmo conference but I can't, maybe next year.

D

When the walls come tumbling down, many of the bricks will hit you on the head!

Sorry you still have to attend. My DH and I attended for over 2 years not believing or paying tithing for a number of reasons. We would perform our "callings" and then slip out before sacrament meeting and go out to lunch, take the kids to playground and then grab some groceries. As neighbors returned from church, they would glare at us as we hauled our groceries in from the car.

I've noticed that many of you are convinced you were lied to about Mormonism. Lied to about what?
Do you mean that Mormon leaders know it's a sham, but lie to keep their power and perks? Can you really prove that?
I agree that Mormonism is an abusive cult, but I think the leaders are just as brainwashed as the rank and file, probably more so.
Making wild, blanket accusations that can't be proven do no good in fighting this cult.

Haha! Joke of the day, right here.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/10/2011 06:21PM by WinksWinks.

There are a lot of ordinary people and leaders in the lds church who are wonderful people, doing their best and following in the lds church's leaders direction because they believe it is the true church. These people are decent people and many have found their way to places like RfM in their quest to defend their faith. However, I do believe that the lds Church as an organization does lie by comission and by omission in order to protect itself. I belive it even encourages members to enhance, twist or minimize the truth in order to maintain its good image, protect fragile testimonies and even gain new converts. There is even a saying about it, milk before meat. I refer you to this article and if you are or were a member of the church you would recognize at least some of the points made here:

http://mormonthink.com/lying.htm

Was I lied to? Absolutely. The missionaries told me a lie from the very beginning. The missionary version of the story of JS in his youth, the first vision, the translation of the gold plates into the BoM and how the church was in its origins was not the true version but a modified version. The missionaries may have been sincere but their Church sent them to sell a lie. Someone somewhere created the lie and someone continues to sell it and those who have discovered the truth and have wanted to do something about it have been disciplined.

President Hinckley unfortunately also lied about polygamy being a doctrine, for example. He may have believed in the version of the First Vision he learned as a child, but he lied in order to distant the church from that uncomfotable truth.

Members of the church are taught, from church approved manuals, that tithing is used for building temples, maintain chapels, missionary work and other worthy causes. However, the investments and businesses owned by the church or any of its companies indicates that not all the money goes to the causes indicated in the lessons. Furthermore, there are always additional donations requested for temples, missionary work, etc. Where is the money? The church at the very least misleads donors about its finances.

How many times has an investigator or a new member receive an answer to the question he/she should have asked instead of the question actually asked?

How many times has the lds church changed its position about something or made changes to their temple ceremonies, accepting the latest only as the truth and denying the practice or declaration of the older ones? Is that not deceiving or plain lies?

You said "Do you mean that Mormon leaders know it's a sham, but lie to keep their power and perks?"

I didn't say that. The lds church as an organization lies. Do the leaders know? That's a topic that comes up often but nobody knows for sure, we can all speculate but nobody knows. This is like the CEO being charged with the malpractice in one department of a division of its corporation, does he know? Where is the honesty link lost? In both cases, some people have to know and some may choose to ignore what they know. As for he power and perks, I am sure they do enjoy them.

D

Deconverted2010, you have every right to be angry.

Don't allow anyone to devalue your experience. "It wasn't that bad..." is sometimes the most hurtful thing anyone can say.

Thanks WinksWinks. ;-)

First of all I one of the Oldest Posting on this Forum - Let's say over 75. The hurt from the Lies and Actions my family has suffered at the hands of this Demonic Cult, I cannot even put down at this point in fullness. We have suffered hurt for many Decades now at a the hands of Arrogant leaders and arrogant members. This cult destroys Families and lives by it's arrogant actions. I want to see this church destroyed as it is now and all effort to give the good people in the church a real direction to follow that will uplift their souls and make their lives worth living instead of the hell they have created for their members currently! Guilt trips, Censorship, blind following incompetent leaders. and on and on.

Dr. B, I sympathize with all your suffering. As a convert I pretty much did this to myself and I'll get myself out soon, I hope. My heart honestly goes out to all of you who are pioneer stock and have all your family in the church, to those who will always have strong ties to the mormon church. I'm glad you've seen the light. Thanks for reading and for your comments.

All the best,
D

I say vent away. YOU have every right. And no there is nothing worse than being lied to, cheated of your time, and having money stolen for who knows what?? You HAVE been betrayed and played for a fool. Best to end that. That just can't continue when you are an educated person. Once a person figures it out you are part of the problem if you stay in. JMO.