I just got back from a funeral in Utah.

It's the first time I had seen my in-laws since I resigned. Anyway, DH has many issues with the church, but still is a believer. He hasn't been in two years and really the only times he went was if I dragged him with me. Completely inactive, but not a lost cause to his parents.

We were at various family events. TWICE I overheard people take my husband aside and say stuff like "it's not my place, but if you do things that invite the spirit, like reading your scriptures..."

Then I walk around the corner and they shut up. I'm really not the type of person to cross, and if you want to go about Mormonism, I'm loaded for bear. They all know that.

Their tactic was that whenever I was in the room, they would start bearing their testimony to each other right in front of me, apropos of nothing. I yawned and started texting friends. I quite like my iPhone's keyboard clicks in that circumstance.

"I was [click-click-click] about Joseph [clickety-click-click-click] and Covenants where it says [click-click-click] and [click-click] applies to [click-click] even today." ha ha ha

Sunday, DH gets three calls inviting him to church. One of them ends with "I will love you even if you say no." DH was like "all right, 'no' then." Nice try.

There was obviously one or more people in the chapel of a different faith, because they kept explaining things like what a family home evening was, and saying things like "because in our church, we believe in continuing revelation from living prophets." As if living in an area with 80% LDS saturation, you could escape knowing all the factoids they kept giving out.

I thought it was offensive, because it seemed like they were using this person's life as a back story to the real message. Then her closest relative got up. His entire 30 minute talk really had nothing to do with her (the deceased) at all. The ENTIRE talk was about how he knew JS was a true prophet and the spiritual experiences that manifested it to him and how if we all ponder and pray, we can all come to know it for ourselves.

I have not been to a Mo funeral since I left TSCC. Are they all as horribly inappropriate as that one??? It was a two-hour missionary discussion.

Oh, and by the way, someone died...

They're merely following Boyd K Packer's instructions in his speech, "Funerals a Time for Reverence" In other words they have all these non-members or inactivies trapped, what a wonderful time for missionary work. All below is from Packer's talk:


"Many attend funerals who do not come to church regularly. They come subdued in spirit and are teachable. How sad when an opportunity for conversion is lost because a funeral is less than it might have been.

..................................


Funerals Are Church Meetings

Funerals held under the direction of the priesthood are Church meetings. They have been likened to sacrament meetings. I quote from a priesthood bulletin:

“It is requested that henceforth all funerals conducted under the auspices of the officials of the Church follow the general format of the sacrament meeting with respect to music, speaking, and prayers. Music should be used at the beginning of the service prior to the opening prayer and possibly after the invocation also, as in our Sunday meetings. The closing portion of the funeral likewise should follow our customary pattern of having a final musical number immediately before the concluding prayer. Where feasible, a choir could very well be used on the musical program.

"With respect to speaking, it should be kept in mind that funeral services provide an excellent opportunity for teaching the basic doctrines … in a positive manner. …""



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2011 09:21AM by mckay.

Does Boyd really write such grammatical horrors as "Many attend funerals who do not come to church regularly" rather than "Many who attend funerals do not come to church regularly"?

But then again the Spanish in official church publications was always a mixture of Mexico and Argentina as well.

I took my teen to a funeral for her friend's BIC father and it wasn't as you described. I enjoyed the reminiscent talks from his various family members because although I didn't know him, I felt as if I did a little.

Eternal family was mentioned a ton and when the creepy Bishop got up to talk I personally felt the positive energy deflate from the room. That part was strange to me.

You are not a person according to the Morg. You are a role. No identitites...they are assimilated into the church, from baptism to death. The person's life has no special significance except for the role it plays in furthering church goals.

It's all exploitation, even when a member dies.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2011 09:30AM by Lost Mystic.

WickedTwin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I'm really not the type of person to cross, and if
> you want to go about Mormonism, I'm loaded for
> bear. They all know that.

Loaded for bear--LOL! Love THAT image!

Their funerals were at the funeral home and there was very little preaching--very little, especially at my mom's because her's was supposed to be at the graveside, but it snowed--so there wasn't even any mormon music!

My SP uncle and his wife--lots of mormon stuff.

My SP uncle--he spoke at all the family funerals up until he was too sick to do so. (He died at age 86 I believe.) Anyway--at one of my uncle's funerals, my sister was sobbing so hard that she couldn't stop the runny nose. Then my SP uncle got up to speak and every eye and every nose in the whole place was dry and people were looking around like "okay, when can we get out of here."

Missionary opportunities are everywhere! Including weddings, as illustrated with my sister's first wedding ceremony. I knew they shouldn't have asked a bishop to do it.

married, they didn't know who to ask to marry them so I asked my friend--who was a bishop. He talked on and on and on about temple marriage. I even wanted to crawl under my seat. (I was TBM at the time.) My brother and his wife had been living together for several years at the time.

One of my folks' previous bishops is now a GA. Mom asked him to speak at my dad's funeral. He didn't really say much about my dad at all. he just went on and on for thirty minutes proselyting to all the non-members in the service. At the time I was already starting to question a bunch and this just made things very awkward.

If people stopped talking when I came into the room I'd make a big deal out of it. Go up and hug them and with a huge smile say something like, "You don't have to stop talking because I came in! DH and I talk about you guys and what you said anyway!" The laugh, give a little wink or elbow nudge. Let them know that you know what they are doing and that you don't approve.

I would call them on their B.S. The reason so many Mormons behave so inappropriately is that their church and their Mormo-centric lifestyle applauds them for that behavior. No one is telling them that it is inappropriate. No one is telling them that they are making their church look bad with their behavior No one is making them look at it from the other side. Thinking is already in very short supply in Mormonism. Making them think is priceless.

Of course, one of my FB favorite quotes is "If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you." --Don Marquis

I felt like a little discretion was needing to be exercised here. The death was a very tragic, sudden and unexpected and my BIL was now a widower with a young family. I'm sure they would have done that normally, but…

I just didn't want to make things more horrible than they already were.

Attending a parent's funeral full of mormon preachiness and "oh by the way someone [who had a role in the church] died."

It's a no-win situation. Sitting through the overt indoctrination, or taking the wrath of the family for not participating.

> It's a no-win situation. Sitting through the
> overt indoctrination, or taking the wrath of the
> family for not participating.

That is where I was at. I never bow my head, close my eyes and say "amen" for anyone. That didn't change.

But I was gritting my teeth singing those hymns.

It's an effing funeral. Not participating would have started the "atheist who hates god" ball rolling. My husband would have taken the brunt of that and he has been very supportive of me leaving TSCC.

Not participating would have done much more harm than good.

I went to my nephew's baptism.
My MIL got up and gave a talk.
she hit all the MORmON mileposts for a life time of good MORmON membership and then somehow got stuck on the importance of eternal marriage and then hammered away on that.

I thought I was going insane. I wanted to say "good grief! the kid is only 8 years old. let him have his baptism, let it go at that for this day, and leave him alone before he ends up totally mind raped, he doesnt need to be worrying about marriage right now !"

I was stunned because normally its the "ya gotta go on a Mission" deal that boys get hit with, but this was still way too weird to suit me.

later I heard my SIL and MIL talking.
my SIL had asked my MIL to do that speech because my SIL's friend had attended and they wanted to use the occassion to try to help pound the friend through the temple.

MORmONS!

A few years ago I attended a Baptist funeral for a neighbor. It was a huge church, and a lot of people turned out. The assistant minister preached, then the senior minister, and after assuring everybody that Patty was with the Lord right this minute, he launched into a hell-fire and brimstone sermon and commanded everyone to bow their heads and contemplate whether at that very moment they would "accept Jesus" as their savior. "If you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, raise your hand!!" With heads still bowed, eleven people raised their hands. "Praise God!" shouted the preacher. He went on to say that he always converted a lot of people at funerals - it was the perfect time.

the end for good members

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzMMCA3mmGk

I walked out of my fathers funeral and cried in the foyer. The bishop and SP talked on and on and my brothers weren't allied to tell a poem until the bishop approved it. The worst part was that my father had recently rejoined the church after being ex'd for looking at pornography. They both kept talking about how he was able to overcome his sin. Everyone in the ward knew what they were talking about. I can't say enough how much the whole thing hurt.

Ohhhh darkprincess....what a terrible memory you now have to endure. I'm so sorry for the loss of your father and added insult of the church.

So sorry to hear that. At my dad's funeral I just flet like I was in another boring Skate Conference. At least they weren't outing all my dad's trangressions.

It's all about the food.

Sure, it another Mormon preachathon, but there's piles of corridor comfort food to console the bereaved and tempt the timid into the Cool-whip cult.

Funeral potatoes. COSTCO's finest sliced ham. Green jello. Don't forget cookies and cake from COSTCO of course.

Beats the pitiful snacks served every Sunday.

all that food is donated from local members.... (occasionally assigned to families who don't even know the deceased/family.)

Good people, cheap-ass church.

jpt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> all that food is donated from local members....
> (occasionally assigned to families who don't even
> know the deceased/family.)
>
> Good people, cheap-ass church.


true that.

That's why Mormons should be buried at least 12 feet deep.



Cause deep down, they're really good people.

jpt Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> all that food is donated from local members....
> (occasionally assigned to families who don't even
> know the deceased/family.)

When we buried my mother, we were handed a bill for the hams, for over $60. The RS had ordered it from a restaurant.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/24/2011 03:00AM by WickedTwin.

I've been to two funerals at baptist churches. Both services were very religious and included the preacher calling people to jesus. One of the funerals was for my boyfriend's father, who was not a religious man. Boy was I pissed! Nothing about the man or his life. Just jesus this, jesus that. Nauseating, not to mention totally inappropriate.

A friend died ten years ago on I-90 near Yakima, WA...he fell asleep at the wheel after being out all day doing his fundie Baptist thing there, after putting the car in cruise and ran into the back of a semi going up a steep grade with predictable results.....his parish was in Gatineau, QC, where it was his mission to "rescue" french speaking RC's from the "whore of Rome" (not my words, spoken at this funeral). N was born and baptized RC but went snaky Baptist while in the Navy, and not the southern kind. Anyways he died a sad death far to early. The funeral disgusted me...to begin with it was an open casket which you could not avoid as that was were the family was greeting vistors. What of his face that was not disfigured looked like he had gone ten round with Ali, and the rest was covered with a velvet sheet....his hands had turned black. A mess, the casket should have been closed. The service was appalling....half the people there were absolutely hysteric with happiness that Norm was in heaven, and the rest of us were subjected to a half hour harranging about burning in hell for eternity, the scourge of the aforementioned "whore of Rome" blah blah blah. I might add Norm's still RC parents and siblings and their families were present. I never have been so disgusted in my life...I only hope some of that street trash was around a few weeks later when his wife caught up with reality and figured out she no longer had a husband on this earth or a father for her three children.

I thought about this a lot this past week as it was ten years on the 15th. For the record Norm was a great guy,ALWAYS happy and funnier than all get out. I don't care what religion he found, but attending that funeral made me decide beyond a doubt I am not having one. I have attended a few dillies in y life, and for those left behind, they can have a party.
In 2002 my aunt passed...her will specied only an open house in the apartment she had lived in since 1969....one of Mies last efforts on Nun's Island in Montreal...beautiful spot. The bathtub was full of beer, and a catering company served wine and snacks.....the whole building was invited,all fourteen floors, plus all others that knew her. We all drank and ate and had a good time, few tears, and a 50/50 draw to guess ho many wine corks were in a big Italian bottle she had been putting them into since about the time she moved into place...she like her wine and vodka! That is my idea of a passing.

Even though the Mo's think it's actually the whore of the whole earth, I can't imagine they would say it at a funeral. maybe I give them too much credit.

I am sorry about your friend. It sounded like the funeral was a trying time for everybody, and his parents being grouped in with Rome's whores could not have helped.

:(

Our ward clean-up list states "Do extra cleaning before funerals".

I personally enjoy Catholic wakes and the after party. Good Jebus did we all get hammered at the last one. The food is great as well.

lots of talking about how he "would want all of us to come to Jesus" and other lies. my papaw was pretty much nonreligious and only went to church when my grandmother dragged him and when he did go, he took a magazine to read during the service. my TBM bro & I were both very annoyed, papaw would have much rather been in the recliner with a cup of coffee in his hand watching the Three Stooges than at church.

Every funeral a missionary opportunity! That's why I've girded up my loins and picked up my AK-47 assault rifle and gone around the neighborhood at night creating more missionary opportunities.

I'm doing my part to build the Kingdom of God.

baura Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Every funeral a missionary opportunity! That's
> why I've girded up my loins and picked up my AK-47
> assault rifle and gone around the neighborhood at
> night creating more missionary opportunities.
>
> I'm doing my part to build the Kingdom of God.

Way to go, just like Brigham's Brigands did. Under a flag of truce even.

Kill em all and let Elohitman sort em out.

Best funeral I have ever been to was for the wife of our former SP. Deceased's sister was wife of GA. Anyway, deceased loved show tunes (you know, Broadway), and had performed for years on the stage, mostly community, etc.

Anyway, the sister stated she was going to discuss Amy's life, using verses of various show tunes. Incredibly creative, entertaining, and very uplifting. Cried and laughed for 15 minutes. Most cathartic thing I have ever seen. Best funeral I have ever been to.