We moved, recently, to a corporate ward in Northern Utah (we moved from another Utah ward). The new ward is a somewhat wealthy ward, so status plays a dominant role in position selection.

We've been here 3+ months and I have no calling, no home teaching assignment, nothing. My wife got a calling about two months ago. I attend the meetings, but I don't have a TR, so I assume that disqualifies me for any callings (don't pay tithing anymore). This was NOT the case in the last ward. I taught primary, worked in the scouts, etc.

I made the comment to my wife that this will very likely preclude me from making friends or getting to know people as attendance and participation in the LDS ward in Utah is pretty much the only social avenue to getting to know people and getting some friends.

Now I don't believe, but I plan to live here a long time so getting to know people would be a nice thing. But this area (ward) is so "corporate" that I will be left on the outside, becoming essentially forgotten very soon. I am sad about losing the opportunity to learn people's names, get a few friends. We all need friends.

But when I look back on it, I was NEVER accepted in the LDS church, even when I was completely active and believing (not that long ago, btw).

My family was shunned when I was a kid, my dad was a non-member and smoked! As a teenager I wasn't popular so I got passed over for youth positions within quorums. As a RM (single) I never got looked at, as a young married I was passed by. The only time I was "used" was in a eastern state when I lived in a small ward. They had no choice there but to "use" me.

Anyway, I've decided I may simply have to look elsewhere for social companionship and acceptance. The LDS church does such a poor job of being inclusive to anyone but the completely believing and totally active.

The UU church maybe? But that would be people not necessarily living around me...

I've never attended ex-mo meetings or NOM meetings. I just never meet any of you guys/gals...

I live in the north part of the Ogden area.

most everything in Morland is GroupThink, that's the only way that ChurchCo can function.

How could the Mormon Hierarchy deal with people of even slightly different values, priorities, perspectives?

It Couldn't.

case in point: I'm a nudist. I LOVE it. I understand that to some degree, it's my personal rebellion against the enforced conformity of ChurchCo (you pretty well described it).

ChurchCo, in EVERYTHING they do, doesn't deal well with reality, from individual styles to its own history, does it?

It amazes me that cogdis isn't a fatal malady in Morland, the morgues & cemetaries & crematoriums would be busy 24/7/365.

gear up Friend, it's part of the package for living where you do; if they can't have you, chances are they will focus on wife/kids, so: Watch Out.

elcid Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> The UU church maybe? But that would be people not
> necessarily living around me...

In Utah the UU considers LDS to be their "farm team."

I can empathize with you.

Do you like kids? Maybe you could volunteer with a non-LDS Cub Scout Pack or Boy Scout troop??? They'd love to have you and the NON-LDS Scout volunteers are usually really awesome to get to know, as they are true VOLUNTEERS who love Scouting, the outdoors and the kids, and not some Morgbots given a calling assignment.

So just a thought. Also consider other hobbies and interests. Make a list with your wife and start doing things together, just go down the list, kind of like a bucket-list.

OK, have to do it tomorrow, from work, to avoid detection and unwanted questions from the wife...she knows how I feel, but she really blows a gasket when she finds my posts on this website and others.

lord.raptor.isgod@gmail.com

is that I fit in too well. The church was my life. It was what was real and how you lived.

But now I feel the way you describe: a pariah, a ward project, and a number.

Those friends will not be real friends. You can only get to know them by going along with their mormony act. What do they do outside of church to try and get to know you? If you become friends and then stop going to church, they will drop you. It can drain you emotionally trying to make true friends with a mormon.

Oh gawd! That is what they say about my cubicle at work! I'm the one whose computer always hangs up...the company help desk is pretty much sure that a dark cloud hangs over me and my computer!