I was raised Presbyterian, and became an atheist when I was 14 and read "Chariots of the Gods", which is now shown to be junk science about early UFOs who were gods to primitive man. I never really believed in Christianity other than the cultural aspects (loved the mythology of xmas and such).

But the book was enough for me to give into my doubts and say that Christianity was all bunk. When I was 16 my uncle committed suicide and it was very hard to deal with that with no belief in an afterlife.

When I was in college I starting believing that there might be some sort of god, but that Christianity and all religions were just myths.

Now I am a pagan, I believe in a creator who set things in motion but who is fairly detached but there are spiritual entities that exist to address human goals.

I nearly died as an infant from an infection of the belly button (such an ignoble way to die!). This was before antibiotics and was apparently a major cause of infant mortality. I was stuck in an incubator and baptized (not necessarily in that order) and the infection erupted externally, not internally, thus saving my life.

From the earliest memory, I have always had the same dream. I dream that I am floating and I have a feeling of euphoria. These dreams were so real to me that I remember trying to convince my fellow kindergarten pals that I really could float. As I have gotten older, the dream now has me doubting that I can float, I say that it is not possible and then I find I can, and I think “How could I have forgotten, it is like breathing”.

I think I had a near death experience as an infant and it manifested itself in that dream. I call that spirit The Sentient One and it is like idea of Buddha, just pure love. I think the sentient one is beyond the comprehension of humans and that there are localized energies who deal with human wants and needs. A group of people collectively create the gods that they need. I think that is why the Old Testament god is so different than the New Testament god, they represent the needs of different groups of people at different times. For me, one spiritual path is as valid as anther, because they are all just paths to same thing. I believe in reincarnation, that it takes many life times to gain wisdom.

Given my beliefs, I find Joe’s adolescent vision of god and heaven to be just ridiculously childish. Like the creator of the universe has nothing better to do than to engage in mindless sex to create spirit children? How....mundane. Joe’s religion is so obviously the desires of an emotionally immature man.

I'm not attempting to deride you because you're entitled to your beliefs. I'm only curious how you can think that Joseph Smith's version of deity is mundane when your version of deity is a being that creates a universe containing no evidence of its existence, no need for it existence, and the only beings capable of cognizing its existence are primates with killer instincts who (when compared with your deity) are like ants. That sounds pretty mundane to me.

Just another in a long line of deities who refuses to create anything equal to itself for some unknown reason.

At least Joseph Smith's god is involved in its own creations. Your version is more like a kid who no longer cares about his ant farm.

What's less mundane about reincarnation than eternal progression?

Thanks for your story. It was interesting :)
I'm atheist myself and can't see myself becoming theist again. Not with how much I've grown and how much atheism has improved my life
But I definately can respect and appreciate others beliefs at times
Again, thanks for your story!

I resent you calling mindless sex mundane!

The Motrix Wrote:
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> I resent you calling mindless sex mundane!

I think that great sex IS a spiritual experience! With Joe, heaven was not about wisdom or caring, but about sex, that is what I meant by mundane. Like Joe had no thoughts other than from his gonads.

Sorry, I understood, I was just being funny. Celestial sex sounds pretty terrible because it's only for the glory of elohim, so they say, and all you can get with harems and harems of ladies who are eternally preggers.
I hate that all women are going to white and delightsome in the celestial kingdom, I have a very strong sexual bias for dark skinned beauties. Good thing it's all bullshit.

I believe in reincarnation, that it takes many life times to gain wisdom.

Your faith journey is so interesting! I admire anyone who actually thinks about things. In your belief system, what is the point of reincarnation? What happens when you gain wisdom? Is there an afterlife?

My son insists that atheism is a belief system, although that seems like a contradiction in terms.

presbyterian Wrote:
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>
> Your faith journey is so interesting! I admire
> anyone who actually thinks about things. In your
> belief system, what is the point of reincarnation?
> What happens when you gain wisdom? Is there an
> afterlife?

I think that when you have gained wisdom and compassion, which I think happens after experiencing life with many variations, that you are one with god. Maybe you act as a helper to person to help them in life. Don't really know. I am also not sure when a person comes back in another life--does that mean that the person's spirit can no longer reach out to those they once knew, or does the spirit split, and part of it goes to a new life and part remains as a spirit. I am quite sure that I had a spiritual contact from my mother after she had been dead about 6 years, but have not had one after that. Does that mean that she has been reborn? Who knows.

I have read Joseph Campbells books who explores the universal stories of myth and I think that people are hard wired to ask questions and to seek the devine.

Why did you consider yourself an Atheist ?

I'm heading straight toward atheism and I think, once you're there, there's no going back.

Ditto.

I'm finding it much harder to accept my athiest beliefs than my anti-Mormon ones though. I can certainly appreciate why many look for another religion to put their faith in when leaving.

But the facts - or at least the current volume of knowledge, and our understanding of them - don't leave any more room for faith in Yahweh than they do the Mormon God.

My oldest brother was atheist but now believes in God. A girlfriend of mine was atheist but now believes God is a possibility. People change as do their perspectives on life. Even science can be persuaded, influenced and sometimes get things wrong. Best to question everything and try not to be deceived but keep an open mind and not be so sure and final about everything.

But it ended up being impossible for me to do so.

I found that God did not actually answer the question you raise when you say "I believe in a creator who set things in motion but who is fairly detached" What actually set things in motion was the creation of God, so unless one believes that God started things by creating God....

I find the concept "here are spiritual entities that exist to address human goals" as incredibly ego centric to the point of being laughable. It is the same ego centric ideas that had people believing that earth was the center of the Universe and everything revolved around earth. Then there is the question about what those entities were doing for eternity before man evolved.

Whenever I hear of atheists becoming theists I question their motives.
It generally turns out that they had no philosophical basis for their "Atheism" and they claimed to be an Atheist just for the shock value or to piss off someone.

I agree, once you've deconstructed religion far enough to understand that there is no god, then there's no going back unless you have brain damage/amnesia (at least that's what it would take in my case. Even if I "felt" the nail holes in Jesus's hands, I would first try to get myself medicated/committed).
I could see someone young saying that they are atheist and then converting to religion over hormones, or having a friend.