These TBMs function best when someone is laying their lives out for them. A lady down the street from me left her exmo husband for a TBM jerk who dictates her decisions. She couldn't deal with the freedom and self direction she had with the exmo but she is thriving with the TBM. The real world is too scary for many TBMs.

TBMs are conditioned to believe the world is scary. My MIL was an adult convert, and presumably lived a "wordly" existence before she met the missionaries. And yet she has conditioned herself to be so scared of the world that she struggles psychologically with any social situation involving "non-members".

Bob Altemyer, and associate professor of psychology at the University of Manitoba wrote "The Authoritarians." While it was written in response to various political happenings, there are parts that apply to the Mormon mindset.

What many of us are unaware of is that authoritarianism isn't just about a type of leader. It's also about the more necessary part -- authoritarian FOLLOWERS. Followers like being told what to do.

Here's a link to a free PDF of the book.

Very true and a great suggestion for a book:

http://members.shaw.ca/jeanaltemeyer/drbob/TheAuthoritarians.pdf

My TBM mom has always said "You can be in the world, just not of the world." Things get too worldly outside of Moism.

And one of my personal favorites: "When the prophet speaks: the thinking is done". Mind-boggling.

The RS president once stood up and bore her testimony about how terrified she was of anyone outside of the church. All of her friends all of her life were mo's.

That imo is why some will never leave.

I think Bishop Jackwagon is like this to some extent. He holds so tightly to the very chains that bind him. He thinks if he lives every, tiny little rule the church has (apparently there are 613) then his family will stay together forever and everyone will admire and respect him and he will be a winner. He's terrified of making a mistake and losing the things most important to him. So he takes every single rule seriously. I think he likes having a magic formula that guarantees him what he wants out of life.

Some people just want to be told what to do because they don't want to think or because they are too frightened of making a mistake or they want a magic formula for success.

There's another reason for loving authority stuff so much. Nothing is your fault!

A gal (I'll call her "O.W." for Obedient Wife) who used to preach ad nauseam in her blog and website about how the husband is the head of the home and wives MUST TOTALLY submit to husbands "as unto the lord" talked all the time of how a good wife obeys her husband's EVERY. Command.

One time my mom asked her in a message board post what about a bad or sinful command like cheating on your taxes, and that did not faze her a bit... You OBEY anyway, she said, because your husband is the BOSS and you have to do it. He will be held responsible and not you because you were merely following orders like a proper Christian woman. You are BLAMELESS, she said. She went on and on about how great it was to basically not be responsible for nuthin' because you just blindly follow The Authority, The Bossman.

Mom's next post: "That defense didn't work so well at Nuremburg."

O.W.: "???????"

I guess she thought it was the town we lived in or sumthin!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 11:53PM by The StalkerDog™.

Obedience, without thinking, has resulted in some of the most horrific crimes of our age. There comes a point where you have to ask yourself "Do I really think this is right?" Because otherwise, you toss your free agency and your morals to boot.

And as a worker bee, it is your job to shut the fuck up and gather more pollen.

No think! Just pollen!

I think that is why so many women go along with the whole priesthood thing. No responsibility. It's HIS fault!

369 the goose drank wine, the monkey went heaven on a street car line, the line broke, the monkey got choked,And they all went to heaven in a little row boat.

(for those of you Way younger than me, those are words to a song that never made any damn sense til now!)

I was raised to do as I was told.

Now, as an adult, I still have a hard time making decisions. I have two really interesting and fun volunteer leadership positions offered to me at the same time, and I can accept only one. I've been wishing that Mommy and Daddy were still alive to tell me which path to take. I was also taught to think, "What would Jesus do?" Maybe Jesus would help me find my keys, or something.

Since my volunteer benefits wouldn't be reaped by the Mormon church, Jesus and my parents would probably tell me to read the Book of Mormon and to go back to playing the damn organ. I face internal roadblocks like this every day, and it is exhausting.

Unfortunately--my siblings are a prime example of this--TBM's are more often told what NOT TO DO. "science isn't for women." "You can't do that and still be in the bishopric." "You can't move away from us, just for your career." "Church comes first." "You can't work on Sunday." "We don't approve of dancing" (My sister was a ballerina, until the family got down on her) "You can't make any money in art or music." Bla-bla. Everything we did got criticized. My two brothers were told to go on missions, and they did, and that was the highlight of their lives. They returned, got married, had children but could no longer afford college--now what?? Someone tell them what to do!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2011 02:36AM by forestpal.