My mom was telling me all about this seminar she is going to soon, run by a supposedly "former gay man" who is no longer gay. The seminar is supposed to be all about how someone can change their orientation. A family member told her about it, they were supposedly able to change from gay to straight with it. Yeah, right.

My fear is that she is going to go to this seminar and start putting the pressure on my brother to try it. I have never heard of this dude, but I do not see how any good is going to come of this. Either she is going to get her hopes all up for some magical fix for my brother, if she can pressure him into it, or her high pressure tactics will not work. Either way, she is going to destroy her relationship with her son.

Has anyone ever heard of this dude and his seminars?

There are many organizations claiming to change gay people. The failure rate is very high.

There are tons of them. It is not new.

The most important thing I think is that your mom leave your brother alone since he is happy.

It doesn't matter if he chose to be gay or not.

Whilst I do believe that some individuals can choose their orientation, and hence can go from gay to straight, and straight to gay, if so desired, I certainly don't believe that this change can be forced.

Why does this matter? Because some poor women will end up marrying a gay man who has convinced himself he is straight, and that's another broken family in the making.

I agree. Even if a certain person's orientation was chosen there is no reason for a change.

bingoe4 Wrote:
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> I agree. Even if a certain person's orientation
> was chosen there is no reason for a change.
*******************************************************************
Obviously you believe it is a choice since that's
two posts you have made indicating so.

I take it you're straight, and you chose that, right?

I certainly never chose to be heterosexual. I was born that way.

Piper, ask your mom to make a mental picture of herself forming a same-sex attraction. As her to picture herself making love to a woman in detail. When she raises the inevitable protest, tell her that's exactly what she would have her son do -- try to develop an attraction where there is none.

Please consider giving your brother the heads-up about this so that he is prepared. He deserves to be accepted as he is.

+1

http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post.cfm?id=psychotherapists-trying-to-treat-pa-2009-03-26

The sad thing is, people will seek out and find someone that is saying what they want to hear and disregard huge amounts of evidence to the contrary.

Since you don't give a name, I can't comment on the specific person, but there are a very small minority of mental health professionals that think conversion therapy works. If you mom is going to listen to such a small minority view and disregard the mountain of evidence that says conversion don't work, there isn't much anyone is going to do to change her mind.

Even though the article doesn't seem to indicate any breakdown in the survey along religious/ideological lines.

Reparative therapy does two things well: 1) it can help gay, homophobic people either pretend they're straight or live celibate lives. It gives them skills and support for those choices. 2) it can drive gay people to suicide.

It does not change orientation.

Your mom would probably be thrilled if your brother made one of the choices in #1. Some mormon parents are even happy when gay children complete suicide. But your brother's happiness is more important. Now, if HE wants to change, Reparative therapy might not be that bad because he can get some skills for a celibate life. If he genuinely wants that, who are we to tell him otherwise? Most people, though, want to live a NORMAL gay life with gay partners, and that is also perfectly ok. What's not ok is for your mom to try to make that choice for him.

of a peer reviewed article on a long term tracking study of a statistically significant sample of gay people who have become straight.

In the mean time, you might want to read this

http://thinkprogress.org/lgbt/2011/10/11/340335/former-ex-gay-ministry-leader-comes-out-recants-previous-teachings/

Why don't they just leave gays alone, in peace, to love whomever they love?

I was just in a youtube debate with some tool who kept repeating over and over that people will be "hurt" by the gay agenda. When asked exactly how they will be "hurt" by gay love or gay marriage, he made circular, insipid remarks about how, because some straight people don't like homosexuality, they will be offended by it and thus "hurt". Jesus Christ, save the world from your followers!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/30/2011 01:31PM by charles, buddhist punk.

My brother was also contacted from who I can only assume was the same family member, but don't know for sure. I don't know the name of the guy unfortunately, but was hoping to get some places to start reading about this crap. I don't think my brother will even entertain trying this, he seems happy right now. But I can see my mom getting her hopes up, and that could be trouble for their relationship for sure.

I want to talk more to my mom about the subject when we are not in the middle of a family party, which was where we were when she told me about this. But I was hoping to inform myself before that conversation takes place, I would like to be able to point her to a reliable source where she can read about statistics for success, suicide, etc. I just don't think she realizes that suicide is a very real danger for people who try to change something that is not changeable.

For those of you who don't remember, my brother came out to me several months ago, and he seems happy with his decision to be more open. He, apparently, has come out on Facebook, which caused the family member to come forward with this "miracle fix" My brother told me that he is sad for this family member, who is trying to be straight so he can remain Mormon.

What's the name of "this guy?"

I know a gay guy who is doing this.

You've got to tell your brother he's OK as he is. I have known thousands of gay people in my 62 years and none of them ever thought that they chose to be gay or that anyone could choose their own sexual orientation.

One thing you and your brother should know. If after all these years, God, hasn't come up with an effective program for conversion through the church, then God either likes things as they are, doesn't care enough to do anything about it or he doesn't exist.

The fact that the great mormon church who supposedly have a prophet who talks directly to God hasn't come up with anything at all tells you everything you need to know. You'd think a little laying on of hands would do the trick if they really have god's power.


Your brother is beautiful just the way he is. You tell him I said so. If he gets forced into some program he needs to pretend, and beyond that he needs to love himself just the way he is. I'm gay, and I have had the most amazingly beautiful life, even with the bad parts.

There is no convincing evidence that anyone has ever changed their sexual orientation through therapy, prayer, electroshock, medication or any other modality.

See the American Psychological Association website and see their statement about Conversion Therapy. You can do the same for the websites of the American Psychiatric Association, the American Medical Association, And the American Academy of Pediatrics. There is no science to support this cruel and destructive practice.

Exgaywatch.com, boxturtlebulletin.com and truthwinsout.org are treasure troves of information about the dishonesty at is the ex-gay movement.

http://www.truthwinsout.org/ex-gay-consumer-fraud-division/

The Exgay Movement was created by religious types to counter the gay rights movement. They figured that if gays could change, then gays needed no rights. Too bad that logic doesn't apply to religions.

You can get bisexuals to choose to be only heterosexual, but gays are born gays. How many straight people could convert to sleeping with their own sex?

The APA declared 15 years ago that reparative therapy was not only a fraud, but dangerous to mental health. Many exgays end up killing themselves because they can't live up to the lies they are told.

If you really want to learn about Exgays, read this:

http://www.amazon.com/Anything-but-Straight-Unmasking-Scandals/dp/1560234466