Posted by:
SusieQ#1
(
)
Date: November 13, 2010 08:08PM
Every person's experience is valid, no matter how different they may be.
One of the most interesting things about the Internet is reading the vastly differently experiences of others as they relate to Mormonism. Some are similar to mine, some are very different.
My experience and observation is that there are as many different kinds of Mormons as there are Mormons. Sure, there are a lot of similarities, but there are a lot more of differences.
There are dozens of variables that contribute to how believers internalize the teachings, how they believe them, how they understand them, how they live them, (and for how long), and how they experience them, and how they relate to other members and how other members relate to and treat them. They are all valid experiences.Just because some of them are different, doesn't invalidate any of them.
A little background.
This will explain some of the dynamics that play into how and why my experiences with Mormonism may be similar, or different than others.
In my case, I had two decades of life as an active member of a Christian Church (CYF-Christian Youth Fellowship leadership throughout my teenage years), before I converted with our little family. We had several generations of Christian ministers in our family also. I was planning to become a Music Minister when I got out of high school. That was the only area of ministry open to a female in those days. It was a paid position also. But I converted to Mormonism,, and the course of my life changed dramatically.
We were also involved, in a minor way, in Spiritualism, which contributed to how we understood the teachings initially, and why we joined. Little did I know how accurate my beliefs were that Joseph Smith was a psychic until I read, several decades later: BH Roberts Vol 1 --The Comprehensive History of the Church of Jesus Christ. that said:pg. 88 "Other Psychics Than the Prophet","The fact was that Joseph Smith was not the only psychic in the vicinity of Palmyra." .
Also, the years we lived Mormonism contributes to our different kinds of experiences. I was an active believer from the early 60's to the late 90's. Those years covered some big changes in church policies, how the auxiliaries were run, how the classes were named, how we raised money locally, how finances were used locally, the different presidents/prophets, and on and on. Many of the programs I participated in and enjoyed are gone. I was a member when it was fun. :-) I watched that change, however.
These were the president/prophet of the LDS Church while I was an active, immersed, total believer:
9 David O. McKay 1951-1970
10 Joseph Fielding Smith 1970-1972
11 Harold B. Lee 1972-1973
12 Spencer W. Kimball 1973-1985
13 Ezra Taft Benson 1985-1994
14 Howard W. Hunter 1994-1995
15 Gordon B. Hinckley 1995-2008
Naturally, how I internalized, experienced, and understood and lived the teachings in Mormonism was greatly impacted by the factors I listed. I have never met anyone with experiences and background to mine, coming into the LDS Church as a convert as an adult.
Another function of how we experience Mormonism is our personality. I came into Mormonism as a musician/teacher with experience in entertainment with some college, living on my own. Being in front of an audience was quite natural for me because of my background. I am an extrovert, can talk to anyone usually, and enjoy people. Whether we are introverted or shy, or extroverted, (probably genetic), our experiences are valid even if they are very different than other people.
My early experiences in the LDS Church were in BYU Married Student Housing as we lived on campus for several years while my husband got his engineering degree (five year course). We were newly married when we moved in and over the years, our two first children were born there. That was a very unique situation, not found in other Wards/Stakes of the LDS Church as I quickly learned living in other states and Wards/Stakes over the following decades.
Our family is another dynamic that contributes to how we lived and experienced Mormonism, how they kept the Sabbath Holy, how they lived the Word of Wisdom, and on and on. Some families were more of the Letter of the Law type: very strict parental influence, lots of very rigid rules, journaling, morning and night time family prayers, daily family scripture reading, and on and on and on. Some were not. We were more on the other end: The Spirit of the Law type family, more liberal, but with some family traditions and influences that specifically came from Mormonism. We were strict by some things, and not others.
Even though those familial influences were different, they are all valid.
One person's experience does not invalidate another persons experience.
They will, naturally, be different as we are all different.
Our Exit Process from Mormonism, as I define it for myself, (as it's a process in my experience) will be different also. Some loved the gospel, some hated it. Most of the time, I loved it! :-) But, as with all of life, it was: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly.
One person's process, which will naturally be very different, depending on many factors, (family, children, heritage, etc.). Those different factors/experiences does not invalidate another person's experience. Besides, nobody invalidate another person's experience!
One thing I noticed in all of my experiences in school, work, career, home, churchs, is that human behavior is the same everywhere. Every kind of human behavior can show up anywhere in all the extremes and everything in between. Anything one human being can do, so can another.
I experienced very different personalities, different kinds of behavior in all facets of my life: churches/school/home/work/career, etc. I often say that human behavior is the same everywhere, just the faces change! :-)
In the LDS Church I would presume that we have all experienced negative and positive behavior from family, friends and members. On the one hand, we have probably been treated well, with love, kindness and understanding from family and friends/etc. , On the other hand, we've all been betrayed, (probably many times in our lives) lied to, treated rudely, some have been verbally, physically, or sexually abused. Human behavior is not always consistent either. We have probably all experienced people who were: arrogant, condescending,defensive, verbally unkind, invasive, inappropriate, lacking in boundaries, and on and on.
I know from my life time of experience, those same behaviors showed up at school and at work and in the family, whether LDS or not. No matter where they occurred, I needed to learn how to deal with them. Sometimes, dealing with difficult people was easier than others, sometimes I had more options than other times.
Of course, all of those experiences are valid, no matter where they occur. Just because they are different, doesn't mean they are not valid. or didn't happen.
The variety of experiences all work to teach us something. They are our life experiences, our lessons in life. But, we can also learn from others especially as we share on the Internet on this board, in emails, on Facebook, etc, etc.