I recently came across a website, kind of like this one, but for NOMS-New Order Mormons.

I dont understand how being a NOM is workable. Once you stop accepting with absolute-ness the infallability and orthodoxness of the church, the whole thing will eventually come crashing down.

I think people like this are either too afraid or are unwilling to walk away from the only community that many of them have ever known: The easy access to 'friends', singles wards, activities, social events etc.

Everything the church leaders preach, teaches the members NOT be like what NOMS are claiming to be. I dont see how someone who claims to be a NOM, and ever remain that way, without gradually severing themselves from the church completely.

No, not in all cases.

The idea of the NOM movement, as I understand it, is to accept the religion's beliefs,(have a testimony), but they want to help to make changes that make it more acceptable in today's society. There are things they would like to see changed that make it more palatable. They take a positive approach that benefits the members in the society they live in.

In many cases, it appears that many of these members are strongly connected to Mormonism as it's what I call: their tribe as that is how I have concluded Mormonism is best described.
They don't want to leave it, they love their church. It's their home, family, society, heritage, religion, social connections, etc.

In my case, I was a convert, an "adopted member of the tribe" as they explained it to me. It is not my original heritage.
It is, on the other hand, much of my family and will always be.

I left the LDS Church completely because I do not believe in the claims by Joseph Smith Jr, or the need to live any of the teachings, or participate in any of the rituals/ordinances. The NOM movement did not hold any appeal to me, but I understand why it does to many of the members.

There are clearly, many ways to deal with the LDS Church in our lives if it has some impact in one way or another.
My view is to take a positive, polite, position of unconditional love. Accept and respect people: as-is. Treat others the way I want to be treated.

I think there is plenty of room for the NOM movement in the LDS Church. It's a way for the top leadership (mostly very elderly and out of touch) to recognize that their policies are not that effective and they can make changes that do not erode their base.

<~~~ Just my personal opinion.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2011 04:06PM by SusieQ#1.

Being "new order" or a cafeteria practicioner is not at all unusual in other Christian churches.There is much more of a tradition of independent thought and belief in Catholocism and Protestantism. In this sense, the NOM movement is helping to normalize the Mormon church to a small degree.

Some people do stay in the church for social, familial, and/or business reasons, including members of this board.

That's what I do as well to keep my TBM DH happy and keep peace. I don't want to tear my family apart.

Without ever realising it, I have always rejected "with absolute-ness the infallability and orthodoxness of the church."

I have never considered myself a NOM, however. I always figured there was more than one way of interpreting something. Was there ever a global flood? I've never thought so. Did dinosaurs roam the Earth and die before Adam was even born? Of course! Is the Earth really just 7000 years old? Of course not! Did JS receive the temple endowment by direct revelation? No, he used the masonic ceremonies as a template...

But then again, I am on a one-track course to becoming an ex-mo :)

Well, I started out posting over there and look at me. I didn't believe for about a year but stayed in for my wife and children, as a non-believing NOM. I posted over there in the meantime. I eventually stopped going to church and posted here more. There is a little more open-ness over here that I enjoy. I eventually migrated to this board because I feel that there is a little more freedom to completely express myself here.
So, yes, in my case NOM was a stepping stone on the way out.

NOM used to be more...well...NOM. Over the lat two years many of its posters have become atheist and agnostic exmos. There is not much difference between reading posts on NOM and reading posts here anymore.

That's what I figured, for the most part. i understand the point made about it necessarily isnt the case for everyone. Some feel like they can be more outspoken, or be feminist, liberal, what have you..and want to change things from the inside..but id imagine that is a pretty steep uphill climb

The Church has always known how to weave itself into the very fabric of its members lives. It's not like a lot of other modern mainstream churches where you just pop over every Sunday for some hymn singing and light socializing.

Many Mormons who belatedly discover the truth about the LDS Church and its fraudulent claims find that no clean separation is possible without completely destroying and tearing apart the fabric of virtually every aspect of their lives. They may have a spouse and children who are still devout believers. All of their parents and siblings may still be devout believers. All or a majority of their close friends may still be devout believers. They may work under a boss who is a devout believer and be surrounded by co-workers who are still devout believers and on and on.

Devout Mormons rarely take kindly to fellow believers who suddenly declare that they no longer believe. You may as well be telling them that you have just become possessed by Satan--because that's basically how they're conditioned to view people who "fall away" and criticize the Church.

I was fortunate in discovering the truth about Mormonism before becoming highly entangled in it. Although my parents and siblings and childhood friends still, for the most part, remain devout Mormons, I didn't get married to a Mormon, didn't raise Mormon children and didn't get into a job or career situation with any Mormon affiliated or influenced company. I was able to make a clean break. That being said, it was and is still difficult in some ways. I love my parents and siblings, but at times it seems that all they know to talk about is the Church and activities in the Church. So it's hard at times to find much common ground to talk about. My close childhood friends are all so busy with their church callings that it's hard to find time or common ground to spend time with them.

It's like my life is clearly divided into a "before waking up" period and "after waking up" period. All of the social connections, social skills, culutural understandings, etc. that I had been building and developing for the first 20 years of my life as an earnest, almost devout Mormon suddenly became almost completely irrelevant in my "after waking up" and in many ways it was like starting a new life from scratch.

So, long story short, I have a lot of sympathy for NOMs. For some people, making a clean break from Mormonism is like peeling off a band-aid very quickly. It may be a bit painful, but it's over with soon and you can move on. Other people are so entangled in Mormonism at every level that a quick, clean break simply isn't possible. Trying to make the break may be as complicated as major life-threatening surgery.

I've spent all weekend on their websites (while RfM was down!) and I honestly don't get them at all. I get why some people feel FORCED into continuing the lie with Mormonism (I am in that boat to some extent) but this isn't a solution, it's a curse. How can anybody learn that JS was a fraud, and *want* to continue being a part of it? I read one essay that encouraged NOMs to continue paying tithing and to keep their temple covenants. WTF!?