DW and I attended testimony meeting yesterday for a baby blessing, and I will testify, my brothers and sisters, that the delusion is strong in TSCC. Here's a small sampling of the shit that was spewed from the podium:

1. *Wasn't paying much attention to the first part...* "...and we were encouraged to share a traumatic experience with the rest of the group. I haven't really had any strong traumatic experiences in my life, which I know is because of the gospel. But I do know that God still cares about even the smallest of problems! I truly feel his love in my life and know that the Gospel is why I've had such a great life so far!"

Great to know God cares that you lost your necklace yesterday but doesn't give a shit about war and starvation in Africa. Just fantastic.

2. "...and there's not many members at my work. Only two of us, actually. The other day, I was in a meeting with 6 others, none of whom were members, and one of them swore. She then immediately apologized to me. It felt really good that she recognized that I have values and morals and don't appreciate that kind of language."

Yeah sorry bro, but that's not why she apologized. It was more likely that she feels the need to walk on eggshells around you and doesn't want to get into any trouble with her superiors. But, you know, take it however you want. Also, nice of you to assume that she has no values or morals based on her use of one of 170,000 defined words that happens to offend you.

Ugh. May it be another decade before I set foot in one of those chapels.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/07/2011 01:39PM by dressclothes.

Adn I don't balme you one bit for feeling that way.

because the whole time I would be sitting there, loathing the whole experience, hating the church, etc. Does the person that we're doing it for really want such a bad attitude present in their chapel? I wouldn't think so.

Being careful about profanity, etc. at work is professionalism, but it's also about legally protecting yourself from lawsuits. It's gotten that bad.

I used to go to testimony meeting and take notes. I would read them a week later. What an eye opener.

That is when i realized hardly anyone is thinking about God and Jesus.

Most are having a hard time coming up with something meaningful to say.

Lots of made up or expanded spiritual stories.

lots of competition, in a passive aggressive kind of way.

It was more like SNL than a church meeting. The lady who wears only white every sunday being a good example.

People getting up and saying what they have been told to say by their leaders.

children getting up and saying what they have been told to say by their parents.

Teenagers are the most honest people in the building.

Mental illness really shows itself on that day.

The bishop HATES ftm.

Trivial experiences being made into life changing spiritual experiences that the whole ward is now going to compete with until it just gets so out of hand the bishop has to tell everyone to knock it off. Either that or it becomes standard insanity that is morphed into every day life.

It got to the point where i couldn't go watch it anymore. Too much like a train wreck that you can't do anything about. The kids being broken right before my eyes was just too much. Especially the home schooled kids with no outside contacts. So sad.

Luckily, I go so infrequently that I find it mostly entertaining. Plus, bullshit bingo is pretty amusing.

Since I travel so much, I don't make it to church. I hate F&T, especially the poor little kids. Sorry, but they don't "know" anything. Some years ago, heard a guy state that he "knew" that the Nephites and Lamanites were real, that it all happened as per the BOM. I wanted to get up and state that he can't "know" what never happened, and that a warm fuzzy feeling is not a valid substitute for real evidence.

Do tell - What is BS Bingo??

Make a bingo card with classic Fast and Testimony sayings such as "every fiber of my being" "car key stories", "I know the BOM is true", "without a shadow of a doubt", etc. and see if you can score bingo. Endless variations and lots of fun. I learned at the MTC. During a Fast and Testimony meeting there some elder shouted "bingo" about half way through...it was hilarious.

I've done this! It makes sundays where I have to go for family baby blessings or whatnot so much more tolerable.

I put "inthenameofjesuschristamen" in the center for my gimmie point, and then things like "all opposed by the same sign" in the other squares. Some of them, like that one, only exact wording counts. Others I'll use more generally, like any scripture verse that the speaker took out of context to mean the exact opposite of what it's trying to say, or any quote from John Taylor, or things like that.

it's called Testimony Bingo. 99cents. Go figure, it ain't free.

I had to go to f&t also for a baby blessing recently too. My mom got up and did her testimony. I felt like it was directed at me. Inwardly I was cringing. Didn't have the heart to tell her it was wasted on me.

At the apex of my TBM trajectory to oblivion whenever I heard someone close, "In the name of THY son, Jesus Christ. Amen."

I would be like, WTF?! Whose son? I don't have a son named Jesus Christ.

Petty...and passive aggressive. Just the way the church likes it.

So glad my trajectory is getting closer to the ground and reality now.

Here's the link...I laughed hysterically when I first saw this and pictured what it might be like to play it for realsies.

http://www.salamandersociety.com/bingo/

So true. It's easy for middle class white Mormons to believe in God because they typically don't have reason to doubt God, like say somewhere living in a third world country whose conditions of life are terrible.

Also my young men's teacher used to always say people would apologize when they swore in front of him at work. I never understood why he brought that up, it just seemed embarassing. "Sorry man in your 40's, I forgot to avoid those "bad words". Thats not an example, that a petty childish thing.

It always puzzled me because my father swore like a sailor (so it's not like I'd never heard it before) and I never particularly cared -- although I prefer a conversation that has more than profanity in it. (lol)

But apparently I still (at almost 50 years of age) somehow look like I don't know profanity (or maybe like it would cause me psychological damage to hear it?). It's amusing but I've never taken it as a sign of respect. More like a sign that people underestimate my sophistication. ;)

my father swore like a sailor at work. his employees used to love to tell me about it. it didn't surprise me. major anger management problems!

then he became a bishop.(not mine thank god) everyone liked to tell me about his mountain dew addiction.

Moral of the story: Tbms who think they are hiding rage and addiction? not so much!lol