Every mission conference that we had, we were treated to a familiar diatribe. Our MP told us how hard he worked on his mission and then told us that we should work just as hard or be cursed.

If we didn't talk to everyone we met, our children would be disabled.

If we were sent home early, we would end up on the street selling crap and get hit by a train like one of his former Elders.

If we didn't follow the rules, we would be hopeless failures afterward with no chance at success in life.

If the DLs and ZLs didn't tell the MP everything wrong that the Elders in his area were doing, terrible accidents would happen to their families.


If we were good elders, our MP and GA told us that we would be rich like they are.

Our GA (who is now a high ranking member of the First Quorum) told us berated one elder for saying he wanted to be a band teacher in front of the entire conference. He told him that Mormons should go to college and get rich and that they were being wicked and foolish if they did something as lowly as being a band teacher.


Most Elders ignored or mocked this BS. But some were scared out of their minds.

Either you're totally shitting me or that's bullshit. LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Who the fuck was THAT MP?

Ron

A Mission President in my Stake a year or two ago told an audience of Young Men that if they served an honourable mission they would get better wives and have better children.

Also in the audience were the Dads of these Young Men, more than half of whom never served a mission...

What a douchebag! >:-(

Then many of the former prophets got second-hand wives, including Tommy.

Ron

LOL

Ironically, the MP's wife was rather large and scary. I would never take her.
Also, both of his kids has severe medical problems. I am not sure how he dealt with that cognitive dissonance.

Latin America. Sorry, I can't be more specific right now. How about you?

Dude, I'm behind you 1000%.

Yeah. I have heard this from a lot of MPs and GAs actually. It wasn't just my mission.

Since the missions have given up the pressure tactics of the 70s, they need some knew way to inspire missionaries to actually work and do the PMG thing.

Cursing the families or promising hot wives and great riches is newest pressure tactic for the mission fields in the last couple years.

The missionaries are not buying the old cannard that mission rules and work leads to baptisms anymore. So, the MPs need to promise some future blessing that they can never be tested on. The only thing that inspires many missionaries now is the promises of materialistic blessings.

In my mission, the Elders talked about how much they hated the natives. Then, they would brag about the hot wife and wealth that must await them because of all their suffering and hard work.

In one mission by ours, an Elder asked the GA Hinckley why bad missionaries seemed to baptize more than obedient ones.

Hinckley said that any disobedient missionary that baptizes is condemning himself. I am not joking.

Our leaders say some crazy stuff to coerce people into boosting their numbers.

I remember him yelling from the pulpit, ranting about "discipline" as his double chins rippled. He was Alexander something-or-other. He said that the mission field is a test for life, just like life is a test for eternal life. Those who fail in the mission field probably will not succeed in life or have what it takes for salvation. He did a lot of unnecessary raising his voice, veiled accusations about "people in this room" etc. He was really an asshole who didn't know what he was talking about, and he made a lot of people very angry. We weren't afraid of him, because he sounded insane. He was almost screaming.

However, I could see someone expressing that sort of thinking in terms of curses for those who don't succeed in the mission field. It could even be scary to young believers if he cultivates a Khan Noonian Singh type of speaking style. Some mission presidents are pretty out there.

Sounds like witchcraft! Couldn't throw a bucket of water on him and melt him???

Reminds me of some of the pages of JS from the D & C where he cursed his enemies for 'raising their hand' against him. Especially when the newspaper printed the truth about JS and his multiple wives!

So is it an old Moron tradition to curse your people if they don't dance as you tell them to??

How many Elders were depressed? Or didn't get proper medical care? What a rotten MP!

My bishop threatened me with those same threats, when I left the church. He was a former mission president. He threatened that my children would fail in life, that we would fail financially, and that I would become ill.

My own TBM parents would make similar threats, whenever we missed church meeting. I was threatened when I left BYU and went to the University of Utah. I was always warned against associating with non-Mormons. My parents said I would get a bad reputation, and that the Mormon boys would not want me. They told stories of girls being in car accidents with drunk-driver boyfriends. I grew up with a lot of fear, and now I try to put it into perspective, and call these, "VooDoo curses." Really, they used to work on me the same way.

Yes, I and all my siblings tend to be depressed.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/08/2011 04:46PM by forestpal.

What happened to bring people to Jesus Christ and being the instrument in the Lord's hands? Sounds like more like al-Qaeda.

It would be a hoot if the new MP's were given the same threats and shit when they were being indoctrinated by the holy 15. It is true - shit rolls downhill.

I could I have been so fucking stupid?

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/104253/joseph-smith-part-1

than we amounted to in the mission field. That it was a time of testing to see what we were made of. Basically he just wanted the mission to perform so he would look good to his bosses in SLC.

We had Bruce McConkie, Mark Peterson and Bernard Brockbank come to the mission and reinforce what the Prez was saying. Damn, Brockbank could put away the barbeque sandwiches!

Good Grief! And the powers that be have looked down their nose at me for wearing an amazing pair of stilettos?

Those SOB's really think they are going to a place called the ck? Really? I hope there is a special place in hell for them.

'Cause a missionary who was hit by a train in Argentina spoke at the Exmo Conference. He had a big toe for his thumb. Quite a story, how that happened. He was pushed by an elder who had gone insane.

Anagrammy

it's hard for me to even think about stuff like this
because I heard plenty of this kind of BS myself
and it really pisses me off.

this is my message to these wind bag LDS INC POS now.
dont tell me about how you need someone to go out & tell the world all about how unfairly your POS Joe Smith was treated, you need that done? get YOUR lousy ass busy doing it instead of telling me about how I need to do it. and if this is about preparing the way for Jesus to return then you better tell your dead wood lame ass 2000 year belated returning messiah
to get HIS ass in gear, because I already flushed as much of my life down the toilet as I am going to trying to help Him him out wiht his grand return. His messiahship needs to make a move on his own if he's gonna do it.

and as far as alexander squealing pig morrison is concern, he can use the crease in his fat hog double chin as real nice pre established template line for executing the LDS temple penalty on himself. come alex baby, you went to the temple before 1990 you know exactly what its all about.

I already put my part in, and these pigs were never satisfied, bitched about my contribution the entire time while they rolled around on their fat lazy asses. These POS need something done now, then they better get busy on it.

Your children would be disabled because of something YOU did or did not do as a missionary?

How does he reconcile that with Moses 6:54: "The sins of the parents cannot be answered upon the heads of the children" ??

And what kind of child-torturing God does he serve? Not one I would want to serve...

Stupid cult.

It's amazing looking back how serious all these "serious people" were about pushing Mormonism. All the time, money, guilt, and effort. Why?

Much ado about nothing.

Notice each one of these people wanted their missionaries or their children to succeed in some way that would give glory to the person making the threats. They lower themselves to issuing frightening prophetic threats for the short term gain of intimidating them to do something that brings success to the person making the threat. Whether its the mission president or a parent. They take a short cut and short term gain because it makes them appear to have done a great job in the church. While the missionaries and children inherit depression and a sense of not being good enough that's long lasting. Mormonism is abusive.

Forestpal might have hit on the reason why there's so much depression in Mormonism. Maybe it's this lasting sense of being under vodoo curses...