I am at home recovering from a complete hysterectomy. I am so glad to report that I do not have cancer.

As I read the messages this morning a few things crossed my mind-

1- I had a major surgery without a magical blessing and I was just fine.

2- I was able to laugh at the lady who asked me to list a religous preference when I went to the hospital. I looked her right in the eye and smiled and said "Christian". She looked offended. I guess she thought I was LDS. She had the "eternal smile lines". (garments)

3- It has been two years this month since I stopped attending a ward. Instead of paying 10% tithing- I now have 10% of my income being put into a 401k retirement plan. I couldnt afford to save for retirement before and had ZIP in retirement. I bragged about putting heavenly blessings aside... I was brainwashed stupid.

4. My sons friend from little league football days- now a teen committed suicide this weekend. He was a nice looking- well liked- smart active LDS kid. Could this have anything to do with the "worthiness" interviews" that kids struggle with??
I dont know for sure- and honestly it wont change anything for this kid. I do know that my kids are out of that. My grandkids are out.

5. I see on the news that people like Lon Kennard are getting put into jail for child molestation. I can only hope that more and more so-called bishops and stake presidents will contact police instead of protecting the abusers. I cant fix what happened to my daughter- but I can share the message. Sins go to clergy- CRIMES go to POLICE.

6. I am living a more faith based instead of fear based life. I believe in life. I believe that life will continue and not just in some weird tent city super millenial mormon only form. I can only imagine that in the 1940's thought that Hitler was the anti Christ and it was THE END.

7. I learned that it takes about 2 years to build a real network of friends and people who truly care about me for me. So called friends from church werent friends at all. Mormons only have time to be friends with the assigned mormons doing mormon stuff. Learning how to have a non-mormon life was a challenge for a former super mollie!

8. Reading this board helped more than I can say. Thanks everyone.

Superior post. So grounded! I get goosebumps hearing about anyone getting the hell away from the "veil" of the church. That veil they want you to go through just turns out to be a big cloudy film over your eyes and mind and nothing more.

I am so sad for your son's friend. It can be so many things. No good comes from the worthiness interviews. They are wrong on every level. It could have been masturbation, being gay or something else. So often we don't know in each specific case, but there is no doubt those things factor in for many.

Congratulations on getting your kids and grandkids out.

Great post. Thanks

Congratulations on your recovery from Mormonism and from your surgery.

It is good to read your success story!

Sometime, tell us how you built a new network of friends in just two years! It is taking me longer than that....

I'm sorry about your son's friend. Mormonism is a very depressing religion, and his suicide was probably a culmination of a lifetime of abuse. My own children were abused at church meetings and activities; yet they were healthy and happy at home, in school, in their sports, with non-Mormon friends. You have given that balance to your children. Life, in general is tough enough, without the added peril of a harmful cult. You saved them!

Your post gives me hope! Thank you!

It can seem like mission impossible to build friendships outside of Mo-ism Forestpal. I found a couple of things helpful.


1. Its hard not to like someone who liked you first. I find things to like about those that I meet.

2. I have met friends through my kids- at a church I visited- at my bank-and at a belly dancing class and even on street when I was walking. Most people are just like us and would welcome a positive and wonderful person in their lives.

3. Instead of waiting for someone to invite me into their lives- I invite someone that I want to get to know to do something. If its fun or if we hit it off- then usually we end up doing more things. If it isnt then nothing lost. Move on. I started out wanting friends that I could do something with- and I ended up having a few good friends that actually brought dinners to my family when I was sick and have been driving my kids everywhere for me for the last 2 1/2 weeks. No- not all of us live in the same burb or neighborhood. I found out that real friends can drive more than 5 miles to drop off a crockpot of homemade chili.

4. Be yourself. Who you are and what you like and your genuine enthusiasm will attract kindred spirits.

5. Free advice is worth every penny you pay for it. :)

Keep taking care of yourself as you rest and recuperate from surgery. It can definitely take a number of weeks to feel more like yourself again, so be patient. It's heartening to know that your friends are helping to look after you and your family.

I'm sorry about your son's friend. That's really sad.

It sounds like you have been moving in a much more positive direction since you left the church. Hooray for you! :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2011 11:49AM by summer.

-with Mormon leaders, the lure to be an asshat is sometimes impossible to resist; why can't ChurchCo instruct - train leaders on how NOT to be abusive?

- After Mormonism, lots of ExMos do some of the same 'kind' things that Mos do (caring, sharing, etc) .... but with a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MOTIVATION! (crockpot of chili)
Isn't it Wonderful! Marvelous!