"I guess the thing that p*ssed me off the most was the keeners who liked to be the first to be finished the robing and unrobing all those times during the movie. Sheesh...they were like those kids in class that everyone hated who had to have their hands up first to answer questions from the teacher. *ZOOM!* their robe is on the left shoulder *POOF!* it's on the right *WHAMMO!* that sash is tied in a beautiful picture-perfect Martha Stewart bow on the correct hip... and within the twinkling of an eye they are seated back down and w-a-i-t-i-n-g for the rest of us clearly-not-so-righteous to get our stuff on so we can get on with the movie.
I did like the old movie with the guy from WKRP in Cinncinati in it. He made it not seem quite so creepy cuz I had warm fuzzies of him from the show and from the Maytag commercials. I mean, really, could Mr. Maytag REALLY slit my throat?
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/10/2011 09:06AM by FreeRose.
Greyfort Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I was always rushing and fumbling around because I > didn't want to be finished last. I wasn't too > concerned with being first. LOL
Oh, me too! I'm clumsy and the putting on and taking off always made me anxious. I mean, was I really going to finish after the 85-year old guy in front of me? Of course, he had probably done this 843 times and could do it in his sleep--in fact, he probably was doing it in his sleep.
I was never "first" in the temple. I have social anxiety. Just going at all was pushing it. Then putting me in a situation like the temple with critiquing at every move just heightened my feelings. Of course, I thought it must be satan keeping me from going.
I would never go without a friend to "help"--(Okay, I went once without a friend to help to Idaho Falls and that was a nightmare--those live sessions are quite hysterical).
Anyway--it was the second or third time I went that somehow I got my robe on "inside out"--okay, remember the robes? Inside out? I got to the veil and the worker noticed it was inside out and I had to take all the "extras" off and redo it all. I'm surprised they didn't make me redo the session (oh, but they do, someone else redid the name, so all is well). My ex and my friend were waiting in the CR for me. Everyone else was gone. I was always last when it came to the temple.
I've always been at the top of my game in other areas of my life.
Oh--and then there was the time I didn't tie my bow perfectly and got called on it or standing in the prayer circle (first time through) and my veil wouldn't stay on and they had to impatiently wait for me.
Ha ha. One time when switching robes from shoulder to shoulder, I found a shortcut. Just pull it off the shoulder, rotate it around the waist and up onto the other shoulder. Got caught. "sister, you need to untie it, remove it, then put it on the other shoulder.". I grumbled to the bishop's wife who was next to me..."well that's not very efficient.". She said if they wanted it to be efficient, we wouldn't have had to put it on the right/left shoulder to begin with. We giggled for the rest of the session.
Oh my...all that dressing/undressing rigamarole! It was never an issue for nimble-fingered me, but some of those old farmer-types with the fat sausage fingers had a dreadful time. I always tied the apron strings behind my back...I thought it was more "correct" than tying it in front first then whipping the green part to the front.
I was conscious of the plastic disc in the hat too, making sure it was horizontal and symmetrical. The guys usually looked so disheveled for having to dress quickly in the space of a theatre seat and those hat discs were all over the place! Why, oh why was the hat designed so ridiculously?
The absolute worst part for me was seeing all those conveniently zippered polyester jumpsuits that a lot of the men wore. Was it that difficult to find proper white pants? So many of those jumpsuits had yellowed with time, smelled of B.O., and the metal clasp of that cheesy belt seemed to strain under the pressure of containing their enormous bellies. It wasn't much different than a currently running sponge-pocket-boasting paper towel commercial.
Ha ha - funny memories! I almost miss going..... Nah, not really.
Going through the front door and shaking some old guy's hand (oooh, will he be able to determine from this that I lied in the recommend interview? Better look him in the eye, firm handshake and look confident) and then being led to the cash register (I might not be a biblical scholar but hold on?), then the whole initiatory and endowment stuff - so weird. You look around at everyone's faces waiting for the moment when they all turn to you, smile and shout 'haaaa you're on candid camera'.
When that doesnt happen you think 'holy f***' and smile politely to your waiting friends & family in the celestial room who are anxious to see your reaction, embrace you and tell you well done. You smile again but you're still thinking 'hooooollllllllly f****************k'
That Joseph Smith was such a trickster. I can see him just laughing to himself when he introduced the temple clothes! "Let's see, what is the most ridiculous clothing I can get the people to wear?" The joke was definitely on us!