Have any of you told a TBM - OR a Nevermo - whom you didn't know personally, that you USED TO BE Mormon and had a response that surprised you?

I've told a handful of people that I was a TBM.

No one really cared, though. Even the TBM's I told didn't talk much about it.

That's what I've found! ONE lady, who I told as I was getting out of the car we had carpooled in, said "Oh my gosh! I want to talk to you more about that!" THAT is the reaction I always kind of expect to get, but most people are just kind of ho-hum. If only they knew..... "what a long, strange trip it's been"

Usually I get, "Wow. I'm glad you got out of there."

Not gonna lie: I'm still married to a Mormon, most people don't know I don't believe anymore. I did tell one of our close friends when he was visiting once, and got a pretty shocked reaction. But in Utah, telling Mormons, most of them just want to avoid the subject. Or bear their testimonies to me, which is terribly annoying.

If I do, they are surprised.

"YOU!!? Were a Mormon? I'd never have guessed that."

I've run into several exmormons randomly, and it's hard to tell that they were mormon.

I'm pretty happy when they can't tell that I used to believe all that non-sense.

People are shocked when I tell them I used to be a moron.(Er, I mean a mormon, Lol!) It's as if they expected more from me, and I've just let them down. Because, I lived an LDS life thinking I had the upper hand of righteousness & truth, it's now odd to find out that the rest of the world thinks mormons are very odd and cultish.

I'll say something like "I was a mormon for a while, but got over it and moved on," and that's usually the end of it.

TBMs have stated, "How sad," or "too bad," or they preach to me or look at me like I'm the devil.

No-mos have stated, "Why in the HELL did you ever join? What were you thinking?!" Because I was a convert.

These reactions, so early on after I left, have made me really, really not want to tell anyone I was ever in the morg. Yet, I moved recently and am veering towards more honesty, rather than hiding it which I hate to do. A few weeks ago, in fact, people on the BB gave me excellent advice regarding my quest to be honest about my mo-past.

It depends. If they're atheist or agnostic they act pleased. If they're Christian and I tell them I don't believe in organized religion and don't worship God they just say "Oh. Interesting" and that's that. Most people though are supportive, which is nice since they people closest to you (your family) are usually acting as if you've killed someone. For no-mo's to show their respect really helps to realize "Hey, I don't need to feel guilty for this." Once it dawns on your that most people think Mormonism is bizarre and you're now with a "normal" bunch of people, the disappointment treatment suddenly seems really childish.

Seriously, I now think my family is totally weird for being Mormon. What a 180.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2011 02:54AM by greekgod.

The TBMs tend to see it as a gratuitous provocation, the nevermos tend to think 'oh good'.

Someone on this board mentioned that when you tell never-mos you were Mormon, they open up the flood gates! I have heard some interesting stories! Only the non-Mormons want to talk about it in the first place, and they usually have some horror stories about the missionaries, or the stalking-behavior of the members. Several have commented how creepy the Mormon adults are around their children--like trying to get too close, and trying to exert authority over them--without the parents' permission. I love the "Do you know that..." comments, such as, "Do you know that the temples are for rituals for DEAD people? Yesterday, a man had a fascinating story about his Scandinavian ancestors being brought over, in the very beginning years of the cult. Some Mormon men went there, because no one in America wanted to join their stupid church. They offered the Scandinavians untold wealth in America--houses, farm land, a community of helpful neighbors, blessings from God--whatever would get them onto the boat. Of course, when they arrived, no one was there to help them at all. Some of these people ended up in the Martin and Willy handcart group. Most, when they realized they were too poor to buy wagons to move west, went to Minnesota, to be with other Scandinavians. There are lots of other stories I've heard.

I haven't told most of my family yet, because none of them live in Salt Lake. I went to two temple weddings of close relatives, and I just said, "I let my temple recommend expire."

As for my TBM neighbors--no one has ever asked WHY I left. Actually the only person I said anything to was the bishop. Probably the rest heard through the gossip chain--along with some lies about me, which really hurt my feelings. I really have needed RFM to get me through some of this.

Oh, it is soooo a cult!

I am a thousand times more comfortable telling people I USED to be Mormon than I ever was telling them I was a Mormon.

Some people seem to think that "ex-Mormon" is like lapsed Catholic. You're still Mormon, you just stopped going for some reason but you still identify as Mormon in every other way. So, they still treat you like a believing Mormon, and it's hard to convince them that you're not. I was flabbergasted and a bit angry the first time that happened, and it's hard to find the language to explain to them that I don't identify with or believe in Mormonism AT ALL!

Pity that my childhood was spent in a weird cult.

Sometimes they assume that because of the "Book of Mormon" that I have not read the bible and have yet to "come to Christ" because I wasn't a "real" christian.

They are surprised that I often know more about the bible than they do, and have read both the Old and New Testament.

My own mother said to me yesterday, "I could never understand how you could believe that stuff."

The husband said, "Well, at least you're Unitarian and still believe in God."

My husband told him that most of the Unitarians were agnostic or atheist where we attended.

He turned pale and sputtered that his son was Unitarian and how awful if he no longer believed in God. The wife listened to all of this with obvious shame as if she'd been a failure as a mother.

I've actually gotten the polygamy question right off the bat once. "How many wives does your dad have?" :) I go to a very liberal school, so usually when I tell classmates they're pretty intrigued. Can't count how many times I've had a good laugh with people about some of the weirder doctrines--"I thought I'd be one the heavenly wives of a god someday, if I stayed away from Pepsi and PG-13 movies."

So glad I'm out. So glad.