We had stake conference tonight. As usual, the local leaders made their share of faux pas.

One of our counselors said that one of the apostles went to Denmark and told the saints that unless they indoctrinated their children, the church would fail there. Here's a tacit admission that the church in Europe is only surviving from the natural birth rate. Missionary work there is dead. They shut down 5 missions there in the last two years.

The Relief Society President told a story about some Young Women advisers who found a purse belonging to a Young Woman. They began looking through her purse to find the identification. They found a Strength of Youth and Scripture Notebook, but even better, they found recipes and a sewing kit! This woman knows her place. She is perfect! They said that all young women should be more like her.

Our stake president said that Billy Graham's daughter was right. Hurricane Katrina hit America because we don't allow school prayer. Everyone knows that there were NEVER any major disasters or wars in America before 1962 when Engel V Vitale ruled school prayer unconstitutional.

Then, he went on to compare LDS mothers to circus plate-spinners. They are so busy because they have to balance their family demands with the church callings and their own needs. True. SP's solution? Get rid of all the "worldly" plates and focus only on the church ones. He would.

Then the GA got up and went on for 20 minutes gushing about his botoxed wife (they only do that in public I found out) and how he felt that he knew each one of us personally because we were "kindred spirits" and how Joseph Smith is true and his special witness and... At the end of 30 minutes, I realized that he had said absolutely nothing substantive at all. You'd think a guy who talks to God would ahve more to say. Oh well.

Stake conference rage!

Two hours of your life you'll never get back.

I got that circus spinner lesson during my time when I was in the RS presidency and with 5 kids under 12. Rather than being inspired, it was so discouraging that I came home and cried. I was so exhausted from spinning all those damned plates.

...about lost car keys that were suddenly found? Or even better, those always good stories about Jesus appearing in the temple to the Prophet, the Temple President, or some other important figure? Or how about those inspiring stories where garments saved someone's life? No? Sheesh, what's this church coming to?!!

We need to come up with a NEW purse story...something about a purse filled with condoms and everyone touched that the owner was such a responsible woman. A receipt from Planned Parenthood when she got her tubes tied and her husband got the snip, next to a pamphlet from Greenpeace. The list could go on.

people's scriptures were all marked up in red. That meant they read their scriptures and therefore they were spiritual. Ah, there is nothing quite so simple as judging people by exterior things.

But it requires MUCH less effort to impress to go buy a sewing kit and get the "Strength of Youth" pamphlet. But it did occur to me that maybe this young lady had been to visit the bishop over an indiscretion and THAT'S how she got the pamphlet.

Nobody seemed impressed even though I read both the BoM & the whole KJV in English (not my 1st language) and really really studied all the scriptures and church manuals, to understand the simple/complex gospel.

Now I damn the wasted hours, I could have been reading something much more inspiring.

I don't even attend stakie conference if I can help it, bwaa hhaa haa.