So, my husband and I are stationed on an overseas military base. After a while of being inactive, I decided to go back to church. My husband is not a member and he decided he would go with me. I told the missionaries to give my husband space and not to bother him or they would scare him away.At first things were ok, he even invited them over for the first lesson ....my husband asked what happens in the temple if one spouse dies and the other spouse then decides to get remarried? They told him they would answer that when he became a member and prepared to go to the temple. At the end of the lesson, they asked him if he would commit to another lesson and then commit to baptism. I thought what in the world....oh my. Anyways...a few weeks later...my husband keeps putting the missionaries off (he was honestly really busy...for those of you that don't know a lot about the military..sometimes it takes up a lot of your time)...we were at church one sunday and he got up to go use the bathroom and when he walked out, a missionary was standing there waiting for him and said "I did not want you to leave!"..uh hello...privacy please..do not follow someone to the bathroom for crying out loud. Needless to say that was the final straw for my husband..he is absolutley petrified of any church related thing now and he never got his question answered...and what could I tell him?I don't know the answer either. They also spotted him at the store on post and followed him around there and told him to come back to church that they would sit by him during Sunday school. I also was called to be a sunbeams teacher (which I really don't like but try to stay positive about) right as my husbands attendance starting going downhill (I guess my attendance was too, it's just so hard being away from him all week and then getting up and going to church without him for 3 1/2 hours every Sunday..I would just rather spend it with him.) By the way, we are in a country where 9 out of 10 people drive something like a little BMW or Volkswagen and everytime he sees a minivan , he has to make sure it's not "the Mormons" before he gets out of the car.

Is this for real?

Stop going! The Mormon church will ruin your marriage and your life.

They only gave you that "calling" to keep you coming back on a regular basis.

You don't owe Mormonism your time or your money.

Seems like you are well on your way to realizing that the Mormon Church is not for you.

You have identified that they are practically staking your husband to the point where he is tired of having to be on the lookout for them to avoid their unwanted solicitations.

You’re husband was invited to “investigate” the Church and can’t even get a question answered honesty.

Mormons have show you that they don’t respect personal boundaries, by following someone to the restroom.

And they have assigned you to be a Church every week by giving you a calling.

So now the question is, how are you going to handle this?

Are you going to say no to a calling you don’t really want and end your commitment to being at Church every Sunday and preparing lessons?

Are you going to set some boundaries by telling the Missionaries and the Bishop that your husband is not interested in taking further discussions and that if they continue to pursue contact with him that he will consider pressing charges for harassment?

There is no indirect way of handling this because they won’t take a hint, they will continue to assume that you are willing to permit these advances unless you make it clear to them that you will not allow yourself to be walked all over and that they don’t have the authority to force themselves into your life.

Tell the bishop that you are not able to accept it (nor any other calling) at this time. Then you can stay home with your husband whenever you wish.

It appears that the missionaries did a good job of scaring off your husband.

The only control they have is the control you give them. Your husband has the right idea. Be with him and stand with him. Ask yourself what would happen if I was lied to and JS really wasn't a prophet? What would that mean for me and my family? How would I view others after that?

Thankfully, he's using his reasoning power to avoid becoming more brainwashed. That's good but not good enough. He needs to find a church which respects personal freedom and doesn't use entrapment to gain and keep members.

I suggest you find new friends and activities that don't make you want to control your husband and don't make you give away time and effort in ways you don't enjoy. You're worried about the ring they don't have in your husband's nose while you cringe at the one in your own.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2011 10:28AM by Cheryl.

Thank goodness your husband didn't want to get baptized. You would have been even more stuck. The missionaries did that to my sister as well. They pushed and she walked away, after I finally had her going to church with me every week. Now I'm grateful they did that. You can be too. They're their own worst enemies.

But I agree with everyone else. You have to set your boundaries, because they have none.

They'd answer only *after* he joins?! That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A fear of minivans? That's a huge clue something is seriously wrong with "the church," if not answering a question about major Mormon belief and getting stalked weren't big enough clues. I'm laughing though. That's pretty funny.

Unfortunatley, it is all true. I realized in primary the other day that everything is "follow the prophet" the prophet that, the prophet this. Rarely stories from the Bible.

To anser your question it can bometimes be easy sometimes be very diffilct to get a temple sealing cansalation. Women rarely get one under any sercomstances and often cant marry in the temple again where as men can marry as many women in the temple as they like without a cancalation. Although in america they are odne at the same time a marrage by law and a temple sealing are seen as two diffrent things. In england a temple marrage is diffrent completely as a marrage by law is seen as only being lawful if done in public by a redgestra.

I knew a gal who was married very young, had at least 3 sons and then her husband died. When she remarried, they told her soon-to-be new husband that any children he and his wife would have would belong to her first husband.

Everyone admired him for marrying her, knowing that his own kids wouldn't even be his in the eternities. We figured it would all get sorted out in the hereafter.

stuck Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> They also spotted him at the
> store on post and followed him around there and
> told him to come back to church that they would
> sit by him during Sunday school.

I'm sure THAT was a real incentive to go to Church LOL.

I'm not Mormon any longer, but my husband and I do still attend church at a non-denominational place.

I honestly love my new church, but I can tell you this much....if they ever treated my husband that poorly my ass would be out the door never to return.

My allegiance is to my husband, not an organization and I don't take well to folks trying to push my family around. I'm sure you feel the same way, and this whole incident might be a turning point for you.

I honestly hope that you take your husband's back on this and don't pursue this church. There are a lot of good reasons why not to, but I figure supporting your husband is a good enough reason on it's own.

Just. Say. No.

He can get rid of them really fast!
Then don't go to church if you don't appreciate their behavior.
You got one of the really obnoxious missionaries. This one probably needs to be reported for inappropriate behavior. That might stop him from bothering someone else.

How do missionaries get on an American base in a foreign country?
They have no business there.

Report them to the MPs for stalking!