When nevermos have a hard time understanding our struggles quitting Mormonism, it might help if we said something like, "It's not like quitting the Methodists or Baptists. It's more like quitting Christianity, Islam or Scientology. It's an entire way of thinking and living, not just a denomination."

Very true. Mormonism is a culture not just a church. It, also, provides all the necessities (bishop's storehouse, fake friendships, etc.) and even thinks for you (what to wear, drink, etc.) and how to respond to the outside world. It's a compact religion for those involved.

...tell me it's because the mo-way-of-life is the only life they've ever known and the culture is too hard to leave. They feel the support they receive is worth more than trying to start a new life outside the religion.

The sentiment above is one of the reasons that leaving mo-ism was so difficult for me as well. I loved having the instant support wherever I moved, in social networks, and in raising kids. All of that was lost when I left, but I was able to find support elsewhere that I didn't think existed out of mo-dom.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it requires faith, surprisingly. Me and my atheist self trusted that all would be well in finding and giving support, and those aspects familiar back in my mo-existence I've been able to find in my post-mo life.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/19/2011 11:40AM by toto.

Yes, admittedly I was a bonehead for quite a few years. But I'd say that something like Mexican-American is a culture, a proud one that brings us tasty food as an important benefit. Mormonism brings us... What, exactly? Self-doubt and self-loathing. And crappy food.

Green jello as a side dish? [giggling]

Years ago (pre-Mormon years,) I moved and joined a church in my new location. After a period of time, there was a major change in the church’s priorities and approach, as well as in some staff/personnel. It was no longer the church I had joined; and I left. I was sad about the changes, but they were above-board changes in the priorities of those who ran the church.

This experience IN NO WAY COMPARED to the shock, anguish, and huge sense of betrayal I felt when I left the Mormon church years later!!! Lies, deceptions, and cover-ups galore!

As I began to learn about the characteristics of a cult, I was stunned to realize that the Mormon “church” completely fit the defining characteristics of a cult. No WONDER leaving it is so wrenching!

Some helpful websites for lurkers who wish to know more about cults:

http://www.howcultswork.com/

http://www.christiancounselling.on.ca/articles_spiritual_abuse_rules_&_characteristics.htm

http://www.codoh.com/zionweb/ziextremists.html

And specifically about Mormonism:

“The Psychological Effects of Mormonism: How Mormonism Affects Self-Esteem” (long but excellent)
http://members.shaw.ca/blair_watson/