I'm 22 and left the church about 9 or 10 months ago--and I left cold turkey. I was a convert about a year and a half ago. I broke up with my (very TBM) fiance one night, then didn't go to church for two Sundays because I went out of town with my nevermo parents to visit my also nevermo grandparents. Got back on a Saturday, got up the next day to go to church and went, "You know what?... Nope." Had coffee that morning and a beer that night. Never went back again.

I've hung out with several of the girls I was friends with once or twice, but felt very uncomfortable because even though they didn't specifically mention my not going to church, I had this weird suspicion that they really, really wished I'd come back and go to Institute and FHE and YSA activities, etc. This was always bizarre to me. Growing up pseudo-casual-Catholic in NYC, I had Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, various denominations of Christian, atheist, agnostic, New Age-y and even Shinto friends and acquaintances. I never had the thought, "Wow, they're so great...if only they were Catholic" or "I wish they'd come to church with me." Religion is so personal and (sometimes) culture-specific, I just think it's totally arrogant to assume that others would be "happier" if they had yours. Not to mention creepy, and not your business.

And of course there was the awesome conversation I had with my ex-fiance about gay people...
Me: Well, how you do KNOW everybody would be happier as a Mormon?
Him: God knows what's best for us and he knows what will make us truly happy.
Me: But what if this one plan doesn't work for everybody? Not everybody wants lots of children and marriage and can fit into this mold. What about gay people? They wouldn't be happy in a heterosexual marriage.
Him: Yes, they would be.
Me: ...But they're gay. Gay guys don't want to be with women. Gay girls don't want to be with men.
Him: I've known lots of guys who said they were gay and later got with women and were happy.
Me: Well, maybe they were bisexual. Maybe they could be with men or women and be equally happy. Or maybe they were going through an adolescent phase and weren't truly gay, or were on the heterosexual side of bisexuality, or maybe they're just pretending to be happy for the sake of fitting in and really they're not. Maybe they hate their lives.
Him: No, they're happy because they're doing what God wants. That's the true happiness.
Me: OK, so what about the gay couples who are really happy? Are they not really happy?
Him: No. They just think they are.
Me: So when they're smiling and holding hands, or they have or adopt a baby and they're thrilled about it, or they say they're happy with who they are, and they have great jobs and good educations and a nice family and a life together, they're not really happy.
Him: Not as happy as they could be. Not as happy as the happiness that comes from obeying God's commands. They've never known real happiness.
Me: Um...ok. Right.

OMG. Unbelievable.

My TBM wife believes that being gay is almost always as a result of being abused in some way as a child. Ergo, with therapy they can choose to be straight! Simples!

Er... nope, doesn't quite work like that.

>Him: Not as happy as they could be. Not as happy as the happiness that comes from obeying God's commands. They've never known real happiness.<

Happiness = Finding your confirmation letter in the mailbox.

I am grateful that I do not have to put up with bullshit like this.

I am gratefull that I left the Kolobian Sect.

I wonder who exactly your ex-fiancé trying to convince.

You're right, it's un believable arrogance to tell someone else how they feel. Some Mormons feel totally comfortable telling nonmembers, gays, apostates and coffee drinkers that they are not happy no matter what they say.

My apostate friend was on the phone with her sister. She was having a terrible morning - hadn't slept and a million things had gone wrong. Her sister says that she's not happy because she's not going to church. Nooooo, she just said she's not happy this morning because the kids woke her up 15 times, she fell on her way out the door and she forgot an important meeting. Did you listen to anything she just said?

My mum insists that the happyest time of my life was when I was preparing to go to the temple and get married. I think I am better qualified than her to insist that it most certainly wasn't, but mum believes she knows best.