Growing up in the Bible belt, I was taught that God guides our lives and is always with us. He leads the way, he knows our every thought and deed, even the number of hairs on our heads. He loves us, I am one of his own etc etc etc.

So IF you were activily seeking Jesus/God and you believe you were LED to the LDS church, how do you feel now knowing that the church is false.

Personally, looking back over my life, people,places,situations etc. all make me who I am today (pissed and sarcastic towards anything religious/spiritual) and has given me my life experience, good, bad and indifferent.

Great question - I'd like to read peoples' thoughts on this too. I've mulled over this very thing many times.

In my pre-convert days I had a much stronger respect for scientific thought. Mormonism dulled that a bit but now that I'm out I've returned to my earlier respect for scientists who are honest in their research data. Far more fascinating than fantasy stories about god. (Notice the little g)

It made me question God entirely and I became completely non-religious. If I wasn't in tune with God, the way I thought I was, then I wasn't guided to the Church, and maybe there was no one guiding me at all.

I relate the question to the commonly made remark, on the part of Evangelicals, that Mormonism "burns people out" spiritually.

Most readers of this board are familiar with the idea that burn out itself is a problem in Mormonism: the busy-work hamster wheel of endless and spiritually paltry or meaningless activities, meetings, watered down Sunday school lessons, and religious education as simply blunt instrument indoctrination.

I will say that Mormonism pitched me spiritually and psychologically so hard, with so much investment of passion in the organization, its leaders, and its people, that upon recognizing it as a delusion, I was still left with, on the one hand, health issues related to stress, anxiety, hives, allergies, rashes, and memory problems, but on the other hand a sense that I had engaged fully with a cultic group that sought to have total control of my identity and family. I had developed my capacity to be devoted. I threw off the parasitic organization, at some personal cost, and have begun to reclaim who I was before I joined the church: a leftist, a Buddhist, ecology of mind oriented Taoist, a pagan, a Wiccan, a child of the earth.

I wanted to be held to a high standard. I wanted to do good and to be loved. I was 15.

I stopped believing a little over 10 years later with a temple marriage and 3 children in tow.

Now, knowing that is it false? Relieved that I didn't stay any longer.

I wasn't seeking Jesus.
But I thought it was possible that people landed on the shores of America.

Well, it was 1970 and I was only a teen.

Paul Dunn was a spiritual giant in my eyes, the thought that anyone could lie so sincerely from a pulpit never even occurred to me.

The church was more fun back in those day and most members were nice. But I always knew in the back of my mind that I could leave if I wanted.

That's the trouble with converts,they've already seen other churches in action.

Soooo there were just too many wtf moments as I got older, and the day came when I backed away. DNA finished my relationship with Mormonism.
I was D O N E .

I joined in 73, walked out in 07.

I was led into the church. It was a high standard and I was in love with it. Of course, it was differently run in the 70s. A little more local involvement and fun and a sense of a caring 'ward family'. I was way out in the mission field. Going to Ricks didn't open my eyes. I wasn't analytical when it came to religion. I just believed. It didn't occur to me if the youth of Zion were no different than the world then obviously the church was no different either. Also the abusive attitude of the church towards women was familiar pain. But at church we were told we were loved.

It took me years to realize what a crock it all was. When the final straw came, the stealing and lying of Hinkley and his court along with the control of an expensive bar coded TR I decided I have nothing to do with King Noah and his court. I left. With in three months I knew I could never go back.
As a convert I knew what else was out there.
I have become a seasoned person when it comes to religion. When I walk into any church I know I am more than experienced and I take NO guff from the ministers clear down to the pushy people of the congregation. I could play any role in a church and probably be very appreciated. I just don't want to spend the energy in a church ever again.

It wasn't fun to look over the years and see how my talents which I was so willing to share and up lift with were always on the bench. The TSCC didn't even let me be the water boy to their social gatherings! I wasted all those years in the TSCC when I could have been in another church participating fully instead of always passively sitting on the sidelines listening to the five ward families repeat themselves four times a year because they were the only ones called on to talk or hold ward positions!

I'm acquainted with a variety of people but refuse to be sucked back into any religion because I don't want to give up my precious sense of self. I won't tolerate being around anyone who goes on and on about Jaysus. I do love what Jesus taught, I just think it is time for us to follow him, not worship him as he requested. (Do not call me good, only call your father in heaven good. He told someone when they tried to worship him. You will do greater things than I when he spoke of following him and doing miracles.)

It was fairly easy to walk out, the TSCC had no place for me and the members had never cut me into their lives. I wasn't going anywhere with them, they were acquaintances. Warm and loving acquaintances, but not friends and companions.

I wasn't losing anything. I'd given up my family to join the church. They didn't mind me coming back into the fold as it were. It has been nice to rejoin the human race.

I miss my village, but I refuse to join any religion.

I've never been hurt so badly except by people who claim to believe in Jesus.

That goes for Christians outside of the LDS church.

It was a last pit stop before I gave up on religion altogether.

I don't know if I felt led into the church by God. I know born agains use that phrase a lot, I felt led to do this, say this, blah blah and I despise any comment made by anyone that alludes to them being in first hand communication with the Lord. To me, it is bragging.

I can say for my whole family, as they have said as much in the past month, we will never enter another church again.

We're done with the racism, the separation of people according to social-economical classes, done with it all.

How do I feel about it all? I think it's bogus and I find it hard to trust myself over anything spiritual or religious.

l2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Growing up in the Bible belt, I was taught that
> God guides our lives and is always with us. He
> leads the way, he knows our every thought and
> deed, even the number of hairs on our heads. He
> loves us, I am one of his own etc etc etc.

Kind of makes it hard to understand God's role in not protecting children from abuse don't you think...?

Stumbling Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Kind of makes it hard to understand God's role in
> not protecting children from abuse don't you
> think...?


That's my big problem as well. I began to think about how we'd always been taught that God was literally our Father in Heaven. If so, He's the worst parent who ever existed.

How many of us who are parents would allow our children to go through the things He just sits back and allows? I'm more protective of my pets than He is of His children.

l2 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> So IF you were activily seeking Jesus/God and you
> believe you were LED to the LDS church, how do you
> feel now knowing that the church is false.
>
I feel embarrassed. I had a master's degree but absolutely no critical thinking skills when I joined the church. I look back now and wonder if I had some kind of mental breakdown at the time.

Shannon ;o)

I am BIC but I still look back and wonder what happened to my natural instinct and inquisitive nature.

Not "led". Dragged and duped by a now-ex and his wack-job family. At the time I really thought they were on to something, but the more I learned after the fact (always "after"!) the more I realized how screwy the whole set-up was.

Many of the things we do in life are attempts at self healing. Joining Mormonism felt inspired to me because it gave me a lot things I needed at the time. I still don't regret joining because I did get things I needed. I might not have gotten an education if not for wanting to emulate the missionaries going to BYU. In that sense it was inspired by my inner needs and unconscious efforts at self healing.

The problem is that Mormonism becomes a trap. I wish I had left completely right after my mission because that's around the time I realized I had gotten all the good I could from the experience and it was now turning truly dark and ugly because the underlying doctrines were false.