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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 09:54PM

It's come to my attention that some exmo has been using my name, my reputation, and a chronic health conditon with one of my children to stir up trouble and hatred.

This creep has never met me and doesn't care anything about what I think or feel.

He's lying about something that happened on the recovery board nearly FiVE YEARS ago, something that was no concern of his.

In the world of cyberspace on sites I don't frequent, this piece of slime has been retelling and misrepresenting an incident which occured when I was discussing an issue with a respected longterm fellow poster, someone this cyberslime happens to hate.

I was called away from the board that night because of a medical emergency in my family. And what does this idiot do? He jumps in to misrepresent my situation and to use it for his own nefarious agenda!

That's bad enough, but the creep blamed RfM for not taking his side against the poster who I was conversing with.

AND **FIVE YEARS** later he's still out there yammering about it in attempt to undermine me, my family, the other longtime poster, and RfM administration!

This is exactly the same situation as mormon temple dead dunking which I hate.

NO ONE has a right to use someone's name and to misrepresent their life history for personal or cult gain if the person in question stongly objects or does not know about it.

So, what's my advice?

Don't listen to anyone who is out there claiming to be a friend of any cause unless those in question have signed off on the use of their name and their reputation.

For the record, I deeply appreciate RfM. It's been a rich addition to my life for over a decade. I have no problem with its rules or deletion policy, except that I'd use the delete option MORE than they do, not less. I have no problem with the longterm poster this slimebucket despises.

I'm glad that the creep is deleted and I'm sorry he gets away as often as he does with posting under temporary anon names. His facebook and webpage rantings suggest that RfM has lost a vauable participant. No, admin swept out the trash in my opinion.

The guy can choose a new name, use it consistently, leave me out of his rantings, and be a MAN if he wants my respect. Until then, I'll think of him as less than the slugs worming their way under rocks next to the dead carcus of a FARMS ass.

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 09:59PM

So, is this person actually an exMo? I assumed it was a Mormon troll.

(Not that it matters. A troll is a troll is a troll.)

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 10:11PM

I'd be sad to think of an exmo doing such a thing, being so deceitful and slimy after wallowing and finally escaping, as we all have, from the mormon slime pit.

I think most of us want to feel clean, honest, and decent after all we've suffered. Perhaps this creep is a mormon hanger-on-er or FARMS-type plant.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 10:05PM

referring to, has a big blog also. I think this is the same fellow that got so angry with me he blocked me on Facebook! :-) Probably beat me to it as I was trying to block him.
He became nasty and abusive to me, personally on Facebook.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 10:13PM

For some reason, you and I seem to come to the attention of the same creepy individuals.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 23, 2010 11:29PM

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Posted by: outofutah ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 12:49AM

In a number of ways I won't go into (life's too short) I, too have been maligned and impersonated by actual exmos on this board. Misrepresenting and LYING about things I had posted and also going on other sites, and defaming me and lying about situations.

exmos are no saints, they are people...

Get used to it!

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 10:31AM

to the cypercreep and any who've been exposed its slime message for the last FIVE YEARS.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 01:32PM

and hide behind a fake name.

It's open season for those filled with hate and rage and anger that don't care about anyone but themselves and that power high they get lying and maligning other people.
They must be very unhappy people. Possibly dangerous in person. Certainly not anyone I would want to meet IRL

They think because they type something in cyberspace people will believe it. Repeat it ad nauseum and it must be true. And many people are so gullible they believe anything whether it's true or not.

Make false claims about someone (happens to me a lot) with absolutely no factual evidence.

I can't remember all the false (ridiculous) claims made about me (too numerous) by Mormons and former Mormons. Happens on this board also.

What to do? Counter it with factual info and it's still challenged. Go figure.
Nothing left to do but: Laugh it off. It's not real. It's just cyberspace! :-)

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 01:42PM

I am familiar with what Cheryl is talking about and, yes, this exMo poster about whom she speaks with justifiable criticism is, in fact, lying.

I could amplify on this in this forum if Cheryl wishes, or if others (including perhaps Admin) think it would be appropriate to do so; otherewise, I will leave my comments as is.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2010 02:37PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 02:42PM

I can't speak for admin, but would guess they likely wouldn't mind.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 07:04PM

The poster in question has an overly-active imagination that is not affected by the actual reality of the situation, as you well know.

I therefore don't think it's worth rehashing it in this thread.

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Posted by: Primus ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 03:41PM

Was going on...hmmm.

I can guess though at the two parties antagonizing each other, however, I didn't know you had become part of it.


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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 05:42PM

I read his comments on Facebook and told him I didn't remember the exchange and didn't think it sounded like Cheryl. I'm not defending the guy who was very rude to a poster on Facebook, but is it possible he has Cheryl mixed up with someone else? It is hard to remember every conversation you have had on a board and who you had it with. Just asking.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:08AM

No need to ask them of me. I remember the incident, and I've said what is documented and true unlike your facebook associate who is a liar.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 07:21PM

. . . as it was aired (rhymes with "erred") recently by the individual in question.

It is as fictional as the Book of Mormon itself--which is saying as lot (unless, as you suggest, the creator might be a gullible Mormon, who then wouldn't think it's fictional).

But as you and I both know (given that we both know who this person is), it's a tall tale of the first order.

Speaking of which, I hope this individual is learning to chill out a bit with a cool lemonade on Kolob. :)

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 12:30AM

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Posted by: munchybotaz ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 08:19PM

Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 03:55AM by munchybotaz.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 08:28PM

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2010 08:29PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: munchybotaz ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 08:37PM

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 03:55AM by munchybotaz.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 09:09PM

I've no idea what's going on, but I can agree with being careful of scary people. I remember someone on-line being mad at me and they hacked into my computer through their girlfriend's IM program, as she was on my list of friends.

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Posted by: wine country girl ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 09:09PM

act out their dillusions and fantasys. Sometimes they act out in real life. Likely, if this person is "off" so as to be a danger to himself or others, he should be reported. It's the only way to get them the help they need.

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Posted by: munchybotaz ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 09:43PM

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 03:56AM by munchybotaz.

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Posted by: steve benson ( )
Date: September 24, 2010 09:32PM

. . . I have seen and have filed certain elements of the rants from this poster about the alleged episode of which Cheryl speaks.

Whacked. Completely whacked.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/24/2010 09:33PM by steve benson.

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Posted by: Troy ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 01:52AM

A lot of people come out of Mormonism with a bad attitude toward moralistic authority. Who can blame them? But it's a problem when people turn to moral anarchy, as if the absense of Mormonism in their lives has taken away all of the ordinary moral duties that human beings do without having to be told. I've known a lot of exmos who seem to have an anything-goes existence. But the absence of religion and God doesn't justify this. I think I could write a whole book about this, but not tonight. I've clashed with these exmos and they went after me too. Freeloading bastards! The negative effect it had on my life was more than I would ever admit, but being misrepresented is so unjust.

Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 02:00AM by Troy.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:54AM

knows more about *my* personal business than *I* do.

This character made up the story about a fictional car accident when in fact I had mentioned but did not elaborate on a medical emergency. Some might think this is only a minor side issue. Not me. I resent anyone misusing me and my family in an attempt to spread hate and misunderstanding.

To be clear:

I support RfM administration. I agreed with their decision to delete this individual on that hellish night of my family's emergency.

I resent the fact that some stranger would use this against me, against another regular poster, and against RfM generally.

I hope this person is banned from RfM for good until and unless they choose a consistent name and begin to follow RfM rules.

I have no problem with the longterm poster this crackpot hates.

It's inappropriate in the extreme to continue for five years to rant about a momentary incident reported on the internet when it didn't even involve the person stuck on it for so long. This individual is capitalizing on my misfortune, unfairly maligning others, showing a stark disreguard for the truth, as well as an appalling lack of integrity and human compassion.

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 04:36PM

I'm sorry this is happening Cheryl. I don't do FB (need time at some point to figure it out) so can't personally track some of these things that go on. I'm always glad, though, to see people try to set the record straight.

SQ said:

"Nothing left to do but: Laugh it off. It's not real. It's just cyberspace!"

I somewhat understand SQ's take on how to handle this kind of thing. It's true to some extent that there are some things you can't change and some minds that are forever made up that don't seem to bother with facts. But I wouldn't say "it's not real" about "cyberspace". There are many examples of how something on the Net can negatively impact a person's real life. This is particularly so if the matter relates to one's reputation, behaviour, integrity, beliefs, actions and so on.

I've seen some untrue and/or negative comments about myself on boards I've never even heard of til that point. It's difficult to just let it be and not try to correct the misinformation or unfairly negative remarks. You may not change the poster's stubborn, unfair, deceitful mind (or whatever their traits are that cause them to post in such an unfair and unjust manner) but many readers will at least get the opportunity of hearing your side of it if you decide to answer the untruthful statements.

Too, I think of it somewhat like a trademark issue. If an entity that owns a trademark does not rigorously defend its brand it can lose the trademark, which has obvious devastating impacts. The owner of the trademark must be seen to be correcting instances of misuse (for example, when its brand name is used as a general term for an object instead of as a proper name for a specific product with capital letters). If Kimberly-Clark, which makes Kleenex, allows the world to use the word "kleenex" as a generic term for a disposable hanky it could lose its right to own the brand name. That is why you will see announcements to that effect in various publications (i.e., in writers' magazines,there are often blurbs to remind writers to respect brand names by capitalizing them and using them correctly).

I consider that our reputations should be protected by ourselves, as far as is possible, if we value them. This is especially so for people who have name-recognition, in my view. In that case, I consider that they are a "brand" and should strive to protect their reputations, in the same way that companies protect their products by safeguarding their brand names. You can see how disgraced athletes, for instance, lose sponsorships. That is how important a brand image is in this world.

One example of the individual-as-brand is Tal Bachman. If his reputation were under attack, especially by people lying and misrepresenting his views, character, actions, beliefs and behaviour, he may need to take steps to protect his brand as being tarnished in that way could adversely affect his reputation and his livelihood.

Another example that comes to mind is when a poster here, years back, stated that Steve Benson's family were Nazis. It is a serious enough charge - and blatantly untrue - that Steve didn't just take it as part of the normal discourse, part of the usual cut and thrust of debate here - it went way too far over the line for that.

In times like that, you need to protect your "brand" and there are valid reasons for doing so. In recent memory in my own posting life, another poster repeatedly called me "deceitful". I asked many times for examples of such, as I couldn't just sit back and allow someone to make such a comment and let it go unchallenged. I strive to exhibit integrity in all of my life, including my interactions on the Net, and I value my reputation in that regard. If someone wants to charge that I am not truthful, they need to prove it, and I will always demand such, in order to protect my "brand", even as an anon poster. I still see that "Nightingale" is a brand that deserves protection from lies.

Too, it is very often the case that silence is seen as agreement or at least as having no defence to the charges. Silence from other posters in the face of a fellow poster being attacked or maligned can be seen as agreement with the attacker, especially by the poster under attack who may feel all alone in cyberspace if nobody speaks up - not in knee-jerk defence mode, due to side-taking, but in defence of what is true.

I think that it is *not* "just cyberspace" when the printed word can impact a person's life.

That is why I understand why Cheryl is annoyed at what is happening (even though we don't know the details of the attack) and why she and Steve and any of us would seek to set the record straight.

Silence isn't golden in cases like this. Rather, it can be seen as being a position of weakness or worse, agreement with the (false) charges that others may so unjustly throw out there onto the World Wide Web, and mud does stick, if you let it.

I'm all for "brand" protection, including one's own personal reputation. If someone misrepresents me or otherwise lies or trashes me in some major way, I am going to respond to that. How much more so would people who use their own names and identities, like Tal, Cheryl, Steve, and others in that category.

Thanks, Cheryl, for the interesting topic, even if we don't all know the whole story.

(Edited for clarity)

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 04:47PM by Nightingale.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 04:57PM

If some of you are sure and have the facts, why can't we just out this person here so we all know who you are talking about?

Having the information about this person might save others some anguish and might prevent this person from more bad behavior. Or, I guess it might make him worse or submit Eric to more problems?

I'm sorry this has happened to Cheryl. I'd be pissed too. I'd want to know who is being a snake so I could be warned and wise to his tactics.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:07PM

Sorry to be so cryptic. You assumed correctly that I and others don't want to cause any more possible harm or aggrivation to Eric, Susan, Steve, or others.

This isn't someone who consistently uses real or consistent names.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:00PM

I'm terribly sorry someone made those unfounded assusations against you, a person of lonstanding proven honesty and profound integrity.

Thank you.

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Posted by: libby ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:10PM

I wonder about people who rage about Mormonism because, no religion is all bad.

I read a blog in which the writer seemed so angry and vile his venom was almost palpable. I would be scared to know that person. It freaked me out that anybody could be so vicious. He called Mormons morons, made super angry and hateful remarks about every Mormon leader, and when people made comments, he just lamblasted them. And he seemed to rant about perceived wrongs on and on ad nauseum.

I have seen other blogs where the person is just explaining how things happened, why they left LDS church and I got the impression they were doing better outside Mormonisn. those kind of posters deliver more of a punch because they don't come across as crazy.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:32PM

The problem I object to, Libby, is (2) covertly LYING and unfairly smearing people behind their backs for personal gain.

(1) is based on factual honesty with a goal of recovering from a destructive cult.

(2) is conniving, using deceit to further a nefarious personal agenda and to do harm to targeted individuals and prevent free communication and recovery those who are trying to help those in need of healing and support.

No religion, no dictatorial government, no weapon, no poison, nothing I can think of is all bad. That doesn't mean that mormonism has eaned any breaks or apologetics.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/25/2010 05:38PM by Cheryl.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:43PM

Or, perhaps you missed the third paragraph of the original post at the top of the thread about the person out on facebook and other sites I don't frequent. He's still mistating and railing about an incident on RfM nearly five years ago. The creep pretends to be defending me, but is using *me* as a poster child to promote taking down RfM, defaming administrators, and fellow posters among other things I abhor.

I don't need that kind of evil backhanded and misdirected "support," especially when all of the backup "facts" are distorted and when my family and I are being lied about.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:37PM

I believe in the intelligence and common sense of other human beings to know when something is true and fits what I know about someone and when something "doesn't make sense, so it's probably not true" about them.

I am a believer in my own personal power to diminish any and all negative impact from my emotional well being -- especially by people who are negative cyberspace entities.

I don't give negativity, and those exercising their demons on cyberspace the power to impact my personal life other than to show me, teach me, again, and again, the horrible anger and rage some people live their lives in. And what a terrible life that is.

False accusations, lies, etc., have no power to personally, emotionally, negatively impact my life. I simply won't allow it.
They simply are not valid, not about me, in the first place.
That kind of behavior is about the other person and their demons.

This is part of what I mean by taking your power back. It applies to cyberspace.

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Posted by: BadGirl ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 05:53PM

cyberspace but then invaded people's real lives. There are some real messed-up, destructive people out there.
I've known of arguments on message boards that ended up with the wacko contacting the victims employer or family members, posting their addresses on sex sites, etc. The victims have sometimes had to MOVE, and law enforcement get involved.
Cyberspace can become REAL very easily.

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Posted by: Rebeckah ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:05PM

I've personally had an unethical blog author publically post my email address AND IP number because I angered him with my comments.

SusieQ may have been fortunate enough not to have experienced the harm that can be done in cyberspace but it is very real. I hope you are keeping a full record of these attacks, Cheryl. If it becomes necessary to defend yourself in a court of law they can prove invaluable.

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Posted by: SusieQ#1 ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:00PM

situations. I understand and have read about those kinds of extreme cyber-bullying, and intrusions into life outside cyberspace.

I was directing my comments to how I handle those kinds of things personally, and emotionally in the general "LLPF Syndrome" (Liar Liar Pants on Fire" in cyberspace -- most often posters on web sites.

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Posted by: Makurosu ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:37PM

I think you should out whoever it is, because I thought you were talking about someone else until I asked someone in the know. I was totally wrong, and I would have gone along thinking that this innocent person had done some terrible injustice had I not learned the truth. I'm sorry this happened to you, Cheryl, but when you guys start carrying on about someone and then don't name them it causes the rest of us to speculate and very likely draw the wrong conclusion. I think the world of you all, but that's what I think. Best wishes to you.

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Posted by: dawn ( )
Date: September 25, 2010 06:52PM

he is very vile on facebook =(

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