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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: December 01, 2011 10:31PM

What is "celestial" sex exactly? How does it differ from ordinary procreation? According to Mormon theology if I'm a good girl and marry a RM who obeys all the rules he will become a god in his own right in the second life and I will be come his goddess. If he's really going to be a god then why would sex be necessary for reproduction? If you are a god with godlike powers you can create whatever you want in any shape or form or non-form that you could imagine. You could create all or any of the spirit children you wanted ab initio -- sex wouldn't be needed...still wonder what it would be like though

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Posted by: WinksWinks ( )
Date: December 01, 2011 11:25PM

Well in the lesser kingdoms, your genitals are not necessary. So the only ones having sex are the celestial nerds.

But you're right, it shouldn't be necessary. However, what's the most alluring reward in heaven(to a dude)? 72 virgins! No wait, multiple wives!
And if you misbehave God takes away your penis and you can't be God!

Stupid carrot and stick business.

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Posted by: suburbanmarx ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 06:37AM

My District leader on my mission loved deep doctrine and I remember him saying that only celestial bodies will be 'equipped' with the plumbing for procreation...

That kind of gets busted from the simple and basic doctrine
that during the resurrection, everything will be restored to it's proper place. (see also Alma 41:2)

It would be interesting to hear what justification apologists come up for this one...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2011 06:39AM by suburbanmarx.

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Posted by: Facepalm ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 08:21AM

Guys before you comment on a religion like Mormons you gotta study the heck of a lot. Even a non mormon that studied religion can bash the heck out of these questions. come on...

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Posted by: WinksWinks ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 09:40AM

Hey dweeb, the majority of us here WERE mormons. We know all about the deep dark stuff you want to pretend your church never taught. Educate yourself first, lol!

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Posted by: wolfsbane ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 09:47AM

The apologists response is easy - "they were only speaking as a man when they said that" or "that's not essential for our salvation". Those are the two catch all phrases they use when they can't explain something.

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Posted by: WinksWinks ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 09:48AM

And they say that about things that used to be absolutely critical to their salvation.

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Posted by: bona dea ( )
Date: December 01, 2011 11:33PM

We all know what JS liked best of all so he made part of the eternal scheme of things.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: December 01, 2011 11:33PM

Well, the way I see it (C.S.):

both me & partner have a quality O when / how we want it...
(could be more explicit, don't want to, wink wink)

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Posted by: dwindler ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 06:03AM

Have to wonder is celestial orgasms are more powerful than earthly ones?...gee, hope so!

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Posted by: forestpal ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 06:17AM

Not his goddess--one of his many goddesses. Or, did they neglect to tell you that.

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Posted by: mav ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 09:50AM

they forgot about this.

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Posted by: Anonymous User ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 06:52AM

anybody Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> if I'm a good girl and marry a RM
> who obeys all the rules he will become a god in
> his own right in the second life and I will become one of his
> goddesses.

There fixed it for you.

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Posted by: amos2 ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 07:52AM

Luminous large gold members.

Mormonism shares a 72 virgins complex with Islam. Afterlife sex in these beliefs gives away their inherent sexism in that the preoccupation with virginity and chastity applies to women more than men. They both use feminine pejoratives like "whore" and "harlot". They both have possessive male polygyny but a promiscuous woman is a slut. They both have inherently jealous marriage postures where the woman is expected to act married in ways the man isn't (burka, job, etc.).

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Posted by: fenodyree ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 08:35AM

Do mormon gods create?

Didn't H F just ORGANIZE this world from bits that were already floating about in the universe? That's where dinosaur remains come from (doncha know) and why they are millions of years older than the (morg) earth. Well, that's what my TBMs tell me.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 09:32AM

This is not important for your salvation. We'll find out the answers to these types of questions after we die. Heavenly Father will make it all right in the <click, whirrrr, pop pop pop> er, sorry about that. Old habits die hard.

Anyway, ask a Mormon how Elohim gets an erection if his body has no blood in it. Will celestial brains still release oxytocin for orgasms? Inquiring minds want to know...

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Posted by: suburbanmarx ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 09:44AM

According to apologists, God's boner in Facsimile 2, figure 7 represents 'Gods creative power'... So, if they drew it, it must mean it's true! Right???

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Posted by: anagrammy ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 09:54AM

with a special Celestial fluid.

Of course, they are again violating the God-given laws of science, since in order to impregnate Mary, Heavenly Father had to have human sperm in his celestial scrotum.

It's a mystery! <click click whir whir> (from Catholicism AND Mormonism) --Love that, Kolobian.

Anagrammy

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Posted by: get her done ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 10:32AM

I was taught that the women there would have 71 vaginas...oh I got that wrong, maybe 71 virgins, or got that wrong maybe as many wives as they want,,, oh, that is wrong it is ll the 14 years olds you want, who the hell knows, but I hope it is one of the above. Do atheist get anything????



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2011 11:10AM by get her done.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 10:40AM


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Posted by: J. Chan ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 10:50AM

god. Mormonism is a polytheistic religion, and therefore its gods are necessarily limited in power. This is very difficult, understandably, for people who grew up on traditional notions of Christianity (or Judaism or Islam, for that matter) to understand. Hell, it's hard for most contemporary Mormons to understand.

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Posted by: J. Chan ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 11:13AM

To me, Mormonism is polytheistic in that it expressly teaches the recognization and worship of multiple gods - and that multiple gods were involved in the "organization" of the Earth (or the solar system, or the universe, or what have you), although one of those gods, Elohim, is dominant. I recognize that people have argued that Mormonism is best described as henotheistic or, even more technically, monolatristic, but my view is that those people are just trying to square the Book of Mormon's tortured explanation of the Godhead, the King Follett discourse, and the Church leadership's more recent efforts to brand Mormonism as mainstream Christianity while ignoring the many Mormon scriptural references to multiple gods and the very inconvenient Adam-God doctrine.

What does that have to do with celestial sex? Everything. Since there are many Mormon "gods" each of those gods is necessarily limited. None of these gods (even Elohim) is all-powerful and, therefore, each is subject to limitations. One of those limitations is that Mormon gods have to reproduce sexually. They do not have the power, as the OP asserts, to create whatever they want to in whatever manner they wish.

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Posted by: kolobian ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 11:25AM

(sigh) I hate being put in the position of defending mormonism because it's not my job, but it's not splitting hairs to discern between henotheism and polytheism. Mormons don't worship multiple gods. They worship Elohim, in the name of Jesus Christ. That's the worship of one god while accepting that other gods exist. They don't worship Elohim and Jesus. If they worshiped Jesus then what are all these threads about mormons not worshiping Jesus talking about?

And anyway, there's no such thing as an all-powerful god. Even the traditional monotheistic god has to go through the formality of actually creating things, although it may be able to do so with great ease and with no source material other than itself.

Whether the creation act is doing the wild thing or uttering a sentence, the point is either god concept has to "do something." It's ridiculous to say one is more limited than the other just because the act of creation is different.

In mormon theology all energy has always existed and the gods simply reorganize it. In traditional monotheism god has always existed and creates things. There's no difference under the microscope. Either way, the source has always existed.

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Posted by: J. Chan ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 12:12PM

and in times past, at least, has promoted the worship of Adam. Perhaps Mormonism's greatest theological problem is that the explanation of the Godhead set forth in its central scriptural text - the Book of Mormon - is contradicted by later teachings of Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. The Book of Mormon takes on the problem of the Godhead by expressing the notion that there is ONE GOD composed of three distinct individuals. The Book of Abraham and a number of statements by Joseph Smith and Brigham Young, among others, contradict the Book of Mormon on this point. That's why I qualified my initial response by referring to Mormon theology, such as it is.

I think you are right that most Mormons view themselves as worshipping Elohim through Jesus Christ (getting around the sticky problem of worshipping multiple gods) but this seems to directly contradict the Book of Mormon notion of the Godhead. It also appears to be directly contradicted by the Mormon notion that Jesus Christ was the Jehovah of the Old Testament, whom Mormon theology views as being appropriately worshipped (and directly) by the ancient Israelites. I attribute the contemporary Mormon view to the difficulty of merging the Book of Mormon, Smith's later teachings concerning Elohim and the concerted effort of the Church leadership to establish Mormonism as somehow being in tune with Protestant theology.

It's very difficult to say exactly what Mormons "believe" because their religion has become, and probably always has been, an exercise in contradictions.

Getting back to the point of this thread - the OP clearly understands a god to be a personage with the unlimited power to create whatever it can imagine. Is that truly "unlimited"? Okay, no. But I think we can agree that it is a far more unrestrained god than the gods of Mormon.

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Posted by: J. Chan ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 12:16PM


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Posted by: get her done ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 11:12AM

I think celestrial sex is that you can have an errection for over four hours with no damage.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 11:32AM

has ChurchCo applied for a patent or trademark yet?

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Posted by: voweaver ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 02:32PM

One of the Prophets taught that Elohim and Jesus were made of flesh and bone. The Holy Ghost is a spirit, so He's not as powerful. Only flesh and bone get the full honor of being Gods, and that's why Mormons don't buy the Trinity POV of Christianity.

Since Elohim is flesh and bone, He actually showed up on Mary's doorstep and had sex with her to impregnate her with Jesus.

Joseph Smith said that Jesus Himself got married, to both Mary and Martha at the Wedding in Cana.

The whole business of sex in the afterlife is just part of the egocentric white male focus of Mormonism. Being eternally pregnant and pooping out spirit babies forevermore is certainly no WOMAN'S idea of Paradise.

Nah, the concept of screw-screw-screw is strictly male.

The New Testament says there will BE NO marriage in Heaven. But I guess that's just one of the parts that isn't translated correctly.


~VOW

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Posted by: wwfsmd ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 05:03PM

Maybe "spirit babies" are born after only a few weeks, kindof like celestial marsupials, and then they just float off into the cosmos and take care of themselves for a while. Much more convenient and efficient in producing the billions of spirit children required to populate an entire planet. And of course they are only the size of a peanut at that point. Small little girl spirit babies and pre-priesthood holders.

:)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/02/2011 05:05PM by wwfsmd.

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Posted by: sd ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 05:01PM

very low gravity in the Celestial Kingdom. This makes it incredibly easy for newly minted Sky Daddys to get an erection. Their penises by necessity can also expand to great size. Think about. After birthing a million spirit babies, Sky Mama's V-Jay-Jay is gonna be stretched until it looks like the gaping mouth of a whale shark or maybe a docking station for the Star Ship Enterprise.

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Posted by: KC ( )
Date: December 02, 2011 05:08PM

is that poligamy will not be for everyone in the C Kingdom. They are told that they (the first wife) will hold the power on if their husband is allowed to take another wife. They are told that there will be many more women than men in the C Kingdom and that it won't be a sexual relationship, but more like a necessity type situation and not to worry because we will have greater understanding once we are there.

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: December 05, 2011 08:41PM


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Posted by: Lost Mystic ( )
Date: December 05, 2011 08:53PM

I'm waiting to hear sexismyreligion's take on this matter ;)

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Posted by: saviorself ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 09:38AM

and anybody that actually believes it needs to have their IQ tested.

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Posted by: Bamboozled ( )
Date: September 16, 2013 09:41AM


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