Don't take it personally.

One of the obstacles of getting through the Exit Process from Mormonism is what I have dubbed: The Trash Patrol Posse.
They will: criticize you, find fault, bully, ridicule, taunt, put you down, call you names, say you are lying, slam you, and on and on. No matter what you do, or say, you are not doing it right enough to suit The Trash Patrol Posse. You needed to be fixed. And they were going to do it!

I experienced this from some LDS folks, (some when I was a member -- ARGH!! ),former LDS, and a boss and fellow employee at times -- human behavior that I did not appreciate or like one bit.

The biggest loads of trash are often dumped on people by strangers on the Internet. It's dangerous though: trash your boss on Facebook, and you are liable to be fired.
I have seen some of the most egregious examples of Trash Talk on the comments sections on youtube, for instance, It's everywhere on the Internet though in comments sections and other places: people using the keyboard like a gun with bullets in it to fire away at people, not caring who they hit or what they say.

One of the skills I have learned to use a lot, especially on the Internet, is not to take anything personally. I call it putting on the "Duck Suit"! It's a requirement when I go on the Internet. In 1998, when I first started using the Internet, I was shocked by the level of trash talk! I couldn't figure it out. Why would people have a need to do that? I have some ideas now about that.


This is one resource I like-- Don Miguel Ruiz says in his book The Four Agreements:

"Everything we do is based on agreements we have made - agreements with ourselves, with other people, with God, with life. But the most important agreements are the ones we make with ourselves. In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible. One single agreement is not such a problem, but we have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth."

"In these agreements we tell ourselves who we are, how to behave, what is possible, what is impossible."

Agreement 2
Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

He calls it Toltec Wisdom, however, it's universal, in my experience. My maternal grandfather-my father figure that I lived by or with most of my life and called: Dad, taught me something about this principle when I was about 10. He said: "Susie, don't wear your feelings on your shirt sleeve."

As a young girl I didn't know what he meant, but as I got older, I realized that I needed to be less sensitive and protect myself from the onslaught of others, and not take it personally. Years later, in the work force, and in the LDS Church,I developed my own: "Duck Suit"!

I was in charge of my emotions. Not someone else. I could choose how I responded, how I reacted, my behavior. And I had a good example -- "Dad".

That teaching from "Dad" rang in my head thousands of times in my life, particularly when I was a member of the LDS Church as I associated with many people that I barely new, in the work force, etc.

The core element to not take anything personally was about owning my own power. That Duck Suit was a euphemism for a Power Suit! It signified that I was totally in charge of my emotions and could choose not to take anything personally. It worked for other emotions and behaviors also. It meant I didn't give my power away also.

And so, I know I'll be subjected to The Trash Talk Posse from time to time. Usually it's just one but very often, it turns into gang-up, or pile on. One person says something negative (rude, slams,ridicules, etc), criticizes or finds fault, (you're doing it wrong, you need to be fixed, sometimes used by the Mormon Priesthood), so others take that as permission to pile on. And here we have the gang mentality of human behavior on the Internet.

After being subjected to this behavior, I need a shower -- at least, metaphorically. It's a sad commentary on the human condition when people dump so much trash talk on others.

But, it's just part of life on the Internet, particularly, and with my Duck Suit firmly in place, I don't take it personally.

But but but Trash talking your opponent on online games, is what makes the experience so fun. Since I can't defeat my opponents, I back stab my allies, (games allow you to ally with total strangers). So I party poop and attack them, and then They trash talk me. I trash talk them. It's so much fun!