Actually the older female TBM UTah rellies as well seem to be undergoing the knife quite frequently. Just saw some photos of one TBM niece and I didn't know it was her! Literally she looks like someone else. She had a nose job! She did NOT have a bad nose at all and she is quite an attractive girl, married to a handsome man. I thought I was looking at a photo of her husband with another woman but it's her!

TBM females in our family are so obsessed with their appearance it is almost pathological. It's so disturbing! This is a lovely girl and now she doesn't look at all like her former self. I've never seen someone change so much from having a nose job; perhaps more than her nose was done and I just can't tell what it is...

I've mentioned my story on this board about my daughters nose job-but will repeat because it's so relevant to this post. My now 21 year old dd decided about 3 years ago she needed a nose job. She had her dads nose-which had a small "ski slope" She was a beautiful girl-tall (5'10) thin,and could easily have modeled. But she decided she HAD to have her nose fixed. I was against it from day one and told her it was a ridiculous idea. I told her that if it still bothered her down the road she could have her husband pay for it. It was going to cost us $7,000. I also mentioned she could always earn the money herself-before she had the surgery. She was furious with me and bugged me for 1 year. She went to her dad,cried,and he gave in. Not only did he take her to the consult but put the $2500 down and took her back for the surgery. All behind my back. I could not look at that daughter in the eye for a long time. It was a stupid,selfish thing to do,for both of them. And we certainly could use the money dh spent on this disaster.

If her nose bothered her that much it was probably money well spent to have it fixed.

I would never condemn anyone for improving their appearance through plastic surgery.

Looks do matter and how we see ourselves affects our emotional wellbeing.

Not manipulated and emotionally blackmailed loveskids husband into doing something that loveskids was clearly not ok with.

Sure. If someone wants plastic surgery, go for it. But you shouldn't be pressuring one person in a marriage to fund something the other person is against. Pay for it yourself if you want it done so badly.

Would it be the job of the PARENTS of an ADULT child to pay for her insecurities? She was old enough to work for what she wanted....

The whole ordeal was sneaky and done behind the OP's back. Never appropriate for the adult child or the parent in the situation.

Thanks ladies. This dd just wanted what she wanted,when she wanted. She had no shortage of boyfriends,and with the exception of the small "bump' on her nose,she had an almost perfect body.My point to her was to try and show her how beautiful she was and was so fortunate to not have any medical or physical issues. I even gave her a story to read of a young woman that had half her face removed because of cancer,and she was still so positive about life. That might have been over the top,but it was either that or shake the kid repeatedly.And yes she was an adult,and could have saved her money foe a few years and then had the surgery. She was living at home rent free and had a good job. And as far as dh going behind my back with dd-it continues to happen to this day. They have become a team. But I won't complain! At least she has a dad,where as some kids don't.

All the TBM women have plastic surgery where I am in the MorCar. Very common. Appearances are everything...

Lots of fake boobs and bad lip jobs.

I myself am a little over concerned with my body image, but much less than I used to be when I was tbm. I never used to get noticed and I thought it would help to look better. I suppose it has to a degree, but I started to focus more on my personality. I suppose that when the church stomps out your personality so much, you can start to feel like improving your image is the only way to go. Looks aren't everything but I am still glad that I'm ripped out of my mind, owing to the many hours I've spent frustrated.

Ofcorse they are. You would to if you knew you had to look good in an extra layer of clothing and uggely grandma clothes to hide it. Yet you have to show off your face as much as possable and do all this an aufal lot in public.

You have to be carful of the apperance of evil and to many with that great looking Eve in the temple movie how is anyone supposed to not want to change themselves.

The mormon church focuses far to much on appreance.

The Lard loves boobies of all kinds, be they home-grown or store-bought bolt-ons.

That's not going to be much fun, unless there's a Kolob Center for Reconstructive Sugery.

I agree that the LDS culture does place monumental importance on appearance and this could be contributing to the desire to go under the knife, but cosmetic surgery really can improve more than just one's outward looks.....

To be honest, doesn't American culture in general put a lot of pressure on people to look young, firm, and gorgeous forever? As an American woman, I can emphatically state that that's where most of the discomfort in my own skin comes from. I had one area in particular I saw as a major problem as far as looks go and I finally went in (after becoming exmo) and did something for myself in the form of getting that fixed. The change on the inside (in the form of hugely improved self-esteem and a little taste of confidence) is much more noticeable than the change on the outside. I know it sounds incredibly shallow, but it changed my life to have what I perceived as a roadblock on the path to self-acceptance removed. It was the best several thousand dollars I ever spent!

the way they look to the point they change their appearance and end up looking like someone else....

I call that a problem.

out

I definitely see a more pronounced emphasis on this in TBM Utah culture. I attend a major university in the East. I see very FEW college girls as obsessed here as my nieces (TBM) in Utah. It's just not up there on the top of the list.

out

...will that be with our without the cosmetic surgery?

Salt Lake City has more plastic surgeons per person than anywhere else in the country, beating even New York and LA:

http://www.forbes.com/2007/11/29/plastic-health-surgery-forbeslife-cx_rr_1129health.html?partner=whiteglove_google

But I've always been too broke!

I've always been a very homely woman and makeup does NOT help, it's like applying a coat of too-bright paint to a falling-down hovel.

I've always been the butt- no pun intended- of flat-chested jokes like I don't have any feelings. I remember in high school I got kicked out of class for getting mad and saying something when even the teacher laughed at a flat joke another girl said out loud in class. Padded bras are a joke, they don't fool anybody.

I say if you need plastic surgery go for it.

I've always been a lucky girl, cute, great personality (my bishop once told me that he wished he had a dime for every man who sat in his office and said that I was their "dream" spouse!)

However, I'm pushing 70 and although I still have a skin and complexion to cause envy to many 20'something...I don't like the way my eyes crinkle on my photographs so I thought that some Botox might help. On the advise of a friends who avails herself of many cosmetic procedures, I went to this one doc for the procedure...the next day I had one "droopy" eye". Three days later, my blood pressure jumped to 205/95!!! As time went by, I lost all energy and my muscles have hurt for over 6 months...all possible side effects of which I was never warned!

Six months later, my droopy eye, though less droopy is still weaker and lazy...I'm still batling high blood pressure and the muscles though a bit better are not where I was before the procedure.

The girl friend who gave me all the "good" advise was getting fillers around her mouth for fine lines...the doc slipped a little and deformed the one side of her lip. Of course, it will be insignificant 8 or 9 months from now!

To Aglee Anonee...I just wish I were flat, I hate my boobs! And, I'm NOT gay! Clothes fall in a more flattering manner on a very thin, flat chested person!