There's no need to ban him from your family unless you as the parent personally hate him.

In that case, if you can't play along and enjoy the fun with your child, then tell your child, "Many people like to pretend about Santa. That isn't what we do in this family."

But if you loved Santa as a kid and still have a sense of yourthful wonder, Santa can add fun and a sense of happy imagination to this season and probably to your child's love of family traditions.

The problem some parents have is that they go at the myth like they force feed cultism. Instead of letting the child's imagination lead them, they force the issue. They also use Santa like a club. "You better be good or Santa will hate you and you'll be the only kid on the street who get's coal in their stocking."

Shame has no healthy part in enjoying myths. Neither does extremism. I don't suggest you buy a costume for Dad or climb on the roof and act out reindeer hoofbeats. Let kids use their own imaginations like you let them enjoy playing with their toys. Children give up toys for more grownup pursuits as they are ready. That's why there are age suggestions on the packages.

I taught nursery school through third grade for many years and saw the value in children having imaginary friends. By third grade most were understanding the difference between real and makebelieve. It's a process that takes several years.

Mormon parents force kids to think that HF, HG, golden plates, temple magic are real. These are not childhood fantasies that nourish imaginations and help kids learn about themselves, about real and makebelieve, or about the spirit of universal love and giving. If it were true that mormon doctrine helped kids, these ideas would have caught on with kids worldwide. There would be versions of these ideas in children's stories and imagination everywhere just like there are versions of Santa in so many cultures.

The worst parenting in the mormon culture prevents children from sorting through these mormon stories and figuring out that they are not a real part of history or the world. Mormon parents and the mormon church punish children who ask questions and bring up flaws of logic. In fact they say that they as parents won't love the kids as much and they will not go to the highest heaven if they ask questions or don't accept canned answers.

Threats are not a good way to teach love, giving, or how to accept gifts with a grateful attitude.

Don't make Santa into a bad guy like the mormon god. As children talk about how Santa couldn't really do this or that, praise them. Say, "I'm glad to see you're thinking. Keep working on those ideas."

Santa is how I reasoned my way out of mormonism and it could help other mormon kids if parents would let them use their brains.

It's unrealistic to expect children to have adult perceptions when they can't even see out the window without a booster seat.

Imaginary friends and play are how kids test out ideas and form concepts. They can't learn about the world by driving a real truck, but they can imagine and learn about it and about themselves by playing with trucks. Taking that experience away from them is unnatural and unhealthy.

For parents who hate Santa, I would suggest finding books with imaginary friends and myths but not the Santa baggage.

Let kids enjoy fairies or thinking about having wishes, about gnomes and other secret imaginary friends.

Go to the library with them and find books that appeal to them and have talking animals and outlandish outcomes. There is nothing wrong with kids being kids and enjoying make beielve. Imaginary friends are a healthy and natural part of childhood.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 07:06AM by Cheryl.

Hokay, so the Santa myth is very much like the JuHEEsus myth except you don't suffer eternal misery for not believing in Santa.

Oh, and as an added bonus, Santa delivers whether you believe in him or not.

Both myths are equally goofy. I mean what's the difference between a guy who flies around the world delivering toys via a magic reindeer powered sleigh and a guy who walks on water, talks to donkeys and turns water into wine?

That last bit, by the way, would have earned JuHEEsus a comfortable living without having to die horribly as a result. I'm sure JuHEEsus would have been highly favored amongst Jews and Romans alike had he just stuck to that one trick. After all, you don't see anyone turn on Santa for delivering toys without a sermon!

Again, Santa delivers and does so every year. JuHEEsus, on the other hand, did his little trick only once and never returned for a repeat performance despite promises to the contrary.

Funny that adults dismiss the Santa myth yet hold tight to the JuHEEsus myth.

Me? ... I go with the guy who delivers!

Santa RULES!

Timothy



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 07:36AM by Timothy.

to help kids stand up to scary images in their minds. Parents need to help kids through these frightening nightmares, not promote the fear.

"I know you're scared but I'm here with you. I'll stay until the scary dreams go away. Do you want me to open the closet door and leave the light on? How about if teddy bear stays in your bed to keep you company?"

i like your tude Cheryl...edited to add:
Taking that experience away from them is unnatural and unhealthy.

you nailed it Cheryl!
nice to "hear" this kind of view on this board...i believe you have done this board a service! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 08:46AM by bignevermo.

Thanks Cheryl. Just in time for Steve's annual rant on Christmas.

My daughter is starting to figure it out. And when she does, we'll have a good talk about it.

I won't force her to continue to believe. I won't lie to her saying "oh he's magic", or "you'd better be good because he's watching you..." I don't do any of that.

I love the magic of it. Just like the Easter bunny and just like the Great Pumpkin.

It's all in fun. And it'll change of course in time. But for now the wife and I enjoy it.

I agree, let kids be kids. When I taught young children, I used to love to read "The Polar Express" to them at this time of the year. I even had little sleigh bells that I'd ring at the end of the story. Their eyes would be wide with wonder. Children love fantasy. At a certain age they mature out of it. Everything in good time.

FUN!! :)

I always loved Santa. And so do my kids. We did Santa in my immediate family for YEARS. We all knew it was a story but it sure was fun. I can remember asking my Mom if Santa had figured out what he was bringing us, etc.

When my kids got to be about 6-8 they figured out that Santa wasn't real - and they told me so. I told them - Well, Santa can only come to people who believe - so do you want to believe? Or do you only want presents from me? (and I know tone doesn't come across but it was quite clear to them that it was kind of a joke and just a fun way to think about christmas.)

They chose to believe - and we had the same kind of conversations around "hey have you figured out what you want santa to bring you yet? Cause if you don't tell me then "Santa" won't know!" that I had had with my mom.

I don't do santa anymore with them - but they are both past 18 now - so time to move on.

Good job on you and your kids.

I think letting kids enjoy the magical idea of Santa for a few years is great!

I also think that the growth they experience in finding out Santa is a myth is great as well...


I'm all for Santa!

He tries to disguise himself by switching a couple of letters.

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Satan_Claus


http://www.av1611.org/othpubls/santa.html



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 12:33PM by Dave the Atheist.

When I was a teenager my mom had these blocks she put out every Christmas that said "SANTA." We would always switch them around to say "SATAN." It would take her a couple of days to notice the letters had been switched. Such fond memories.

I have many fond memories of Santa from when I was a young child, and I've tried to give that experience to my son as well.

I promised myself that when she asked me point blank, I would not lie. So this past summer she asked and I told her the truth. But I explained she was becoming a big kid and the stories of Santa are mostly for the little kids...also that there was a real person in Europe who was well-known for giving gifts to the village children and the tradition took hold.

I still plan to do Santa and we talk about him as if he's real and it's even more enjoyable now as a shared joke - pretending can be fun.

Play is the work of children. It's how they experiment and try out ideas and interact and learn.

There are different kinds of play using large muscles, eye-hand coordination, others I won't bother to name and of course imaginative play. This is Santa's catagory and other imaginary friends share it with him. This part of kids' brains develop better if they're allowed to us it and exercise it with a parent's blessing.

Kids can't interact with the adult world because they can't drive or hold down jobs, but they can experiment with adult situations and practice skills by using imagination and fantasy play.

I also explained the stories of Santa celebrate the spirit of giving to others and spreading cheer. Being selfless and making others happy. Nothing wrong with that!

So, she & I have decided we will leave out cookies & milk (for Santa) and carrots (for the reindeer). We will keep the spirit of Santa alive in our household.

where is "our" mean ole Grinch?? didnt the"real" Grinch finally come around? i wonder if "our" Grinch will too!?!? one can hope! :)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2011 01:50PM by bignevermo.

I did Santa with my boys, but I followed the lead of my parents. They played along with the myth, but never reinforced it. They let us kids lead and that's what I've done with my boys. My 9 year old figured out it was all bunk last year. He asked, I told him the truth, he was fine and didn't feel betrayed in the least. Now, I think this will be the last year for my 5 year old.

It's been fun and I will probably continue to give "Santa" gifts just like my mom did.

Also, talking about the myth of Santa was a nice segue way into the myth of Jesus and all the other 10,000+ gods.

Good post, Cheryl.

I find no harm in the Santa Clause myth. I have four children and have watched them all enjoy the magic. None have had a negative experience when they find out he is not real. As a matter of fact, they have enjoyed playing along in the fun with their younger siblings. We are all still playing it for my 5 year old.

Comparing Santa to the Mormon religion is way off. To begin with, we know Santa is a myth from the get go. Most people pawning mormonism actually believe it. I like to talk with my oldest and just the other day I told him that Jesus is Santa Clause for adults. He loved the analogy and got it with no lingering mental harm.

A local church always has witty little sayings on its sign. One year it wrote, "Santa didn't die on the cross for your sins". I so wanted to come back at night and put another little sign behind it that read, "Yeah, but Jesus doesn't climb down your chimney once a year and leave you toys". I keep waiting for them to recycle that little saying so that I can actually do it...

It's like saying all exmos must treat mishies the same way or all exmos must resign or must not give in to the urge to do the resignation paperwork.

No, exmos have a perfect right to do what suits them and no one has a right to say they must all hate or love Santa. Expecting a one true answer or anything doesn't work with humans. Time to realize that exmos are free individuals like everyone else.

Santa is a rite of passage.

Now I understand why it bothers me.
My mother was determined not to let me have any rites of passage.

When I figured out Santa, she refused to confirm or deny anything, just asked me what I thought, and smirked.
When your child figures it out, isn't that their graduation into "making it fun for the littler kids"? You don't just leave them floundering, wondering why the lies?


When your kid becomes a teen, don't you help them figure out clothing and makeup?

Do you insist the "kids generation" have a separate gift exchange even if that means one of them is 25 and the rest are all teens and younger? Don't you let the old one graduate to swapping with adults?
No, I had to get happy meal toys for years longer than any of the other grandkids, until finally they made it a "whole family gift exchange", which actually meant more happy meal toys for everyone and playing the stupid dice game to "choose" gifts.

The more I read here, the more I discover just how malicious my mother was. Is. Whatever.

I'm sitting here thinking of all the ways she intentionally held me back or pretended "mystery" instead of helping me grow.

Probably because she just emailed me about the same fncking christmas party gift grab thing I wrote about above.
I SO don't want to go. Hate family bullsh¡t.

I hated Santa as a child because he was associated with other miserable memories. When I had kids, I just couldn't bring myself to fake it. When they talked about Santa I didn't correct them. They were terrified of Santa, so we would go to the mall to see Santa from a distance. We would stand on the balcony above Santa. When family members talked to them about Santa they went along with it.

My sister-in-law pursued all these myths. For several Easters, we were pressured to skip church to get to the Easter egg hunt at my in-laws. Apparently the Easter bunny comes early in the morning, and the hunt must be first thing in the morning. To hear her talk about the Easter Bunny as a real thing just made my skin crawl. These words will ring in my head forever (good forgiving Christian that I am) "Do they have to go to church EVERY Sunday?" talking about Easter Sunday.

And me, too, I guess, for agreeing with him, even though I haven't been told off ... by anyone here, yet, this year. Rest assured, though, that I'm living in proper infamy with my former in-laws. They still tell my son, now 23, that he had no childhood.

I'm blo-ho-ho-hown away by all of this Santa defending. Gosh, you'd think he was a real guy, or Jebus or somebody.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2011 12:11AM by munchybotaz.

At least I think that's what I told my kids. I thought if they believed in him, great, but I didn't hold back that I didn't believe in him IF they asked me.