We hear that there are always two sides to every issue. Sometimes that's true but often there are as many legitimate points of view as there are viewers.

Examples:

Exmos in their homes have a right to treat univited missionaries any way that suits their own needs. Possibilities include feeding them, ignoring them, cursing them, or hosing them if they mock and refuse to leave the porch.

Exmos have free choice and many legitimate reasons for deciding if or when they'll resign. They don't have to be efficient, polite, assertive or prompt if they're stiving for recovery in their own time and space.

Everyone gets to decide how or when to tell friends and relatives they are leaving the morg. Many differing ways work for different exmos.

I often say that parents get to decide church participation for their children. They often make mistakes, but that's life. No one has a right to interfere as long as their decisions are within legal bounds.

The same with Santa. Parents will hopefully look at their child's needs and do what they think is best. Some parents have Santa baggage and they don't have to spend time or money to get over it. They get to factor in their own feelings as well as their children's wants and needs, then come up with a plan they think best suits everyone's needs.

Do I like Santa? Yes, I do. I've seen how he's enriched the lives of 100s of children, most but not all in disadvantaged situations.

Does that mean all parents must play along with this myth for all children? Certainly not.

I would only hope that parents would find ways to encourage children to express natural needs and inclinations to enjoy fatasy and if they're inclined to enjoy interaction with imaginary friends. This is healthy and normal for most young children and they gradually give it up as they mature.

Traditions, inside jokes, mutual play and family interaction creates good memories and wholesome bonds. Santa is one common way of achieving this good result for many, but not the only way.

I planned to stay out of the Santa controvery this year. But one parent posted asking how to tell a believing six year old that there is no Santa and how to take back a promise to visit Santa in mall. That bothered me because the Santa myth seemed to be a happy experience for this child and parent. There's no need to demand he and his daughter must abruptly give it up because some strangers on the internet claim they know best.

The morg dishes out absolutes but exmos can finally enjoy gradations and diversity in their lives.

Arguing opposite sides of an argument sometimes misses the idea of choice and the important middle ground.

And I completely agree with you.

Regarding fantasy, many teachers of young children with whom I've spoken are deeply concerned about what's going on in Kindergarten these days. There's an increase in academic work as opposed to time spent engaging in creative, imaginative play at centers, and with fine motor work. The feeling among teachers is that school administrators are going after short term gains as opposed to laying the develpmentally appropriate groundwork for future academic success.

I personally don't care if some families choose not to promote the Santa myth. However having worked closely with hundreds of kids, I've found that most do, and my opinion is that it does no harm.

And agree with parents' right to have Santa in their home or not.

I enjoy some of your observations. I have no experience in education and, in fact, consider myself a terrible teacher.

Regarding fantasy, I did read a book about Montessori, the woman, and I recall her theory was fantasy was okay but that it should be instigated by the child. I don't remember if there was any explanation as to why the distinction mattered.

What do you think?

Parents need to look to the child as guide and play along with their imaginings when they can. No need for parents to control imaginary play.

But, but, but, being forced to believe in Santa as a child is a sure and slippery slope to believing in mormonism as an adult!! I'm certain of it!

I bet if mormons didn't teach their children about santa then they would not believe in the church. Santa is a gateway drug to be sure. First you believe in santa, then baby jesus, then Joe Smith, then Tommy. Get rid of santa and you get rid of it all. Don't let you kids freebase Santa, Santa will lead to far worse things. Far worse. Like Tommy M, the widows little helper.

"Tommy M, the widows little helper" LOLOLOL!

Ever see Santa runnin' around in burnt orange?

Uh-uh!

SOONERS!

Timothy

it Fs a lot of ppl, it's a Control mechanism, For Sure.

But finding out Santa Claus is a myth might help lessen the blow when you find out TSSC and/or Jesus is a myth. Because you already went through it on a lesser level. Also, it might help you figure it all out. Because if Santa was a myth, then so could the rest of it be. Plus it was taught to you by the same exact people, your parents. With threats of punishment for not being good (not getting presents/not going to heaven) or rewards for being good (going to heaven/getting presents). It gives you some good life experience at a young age.

Edit.....

Wow, okay, now I get what Steve Benson was trying to say. After reading my post, I realize that the Santa myth helped me see through the lies of TSCC. I wish I hadn't lied to my children about Santa. I want them to trust me. I do want them to be more skeptical. But not at the expense of losing their trust



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2011 02:04PM by angeybabey.

The morg dishes out absolutes but exmos can finally enjoy gradations and diversity in their lives.

but not all exmo's have shed this attitude!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2011 01:23PM by bignevermo.

Cheryl, you have been out of the church way too long. You are way too balanced and inclusive in your thinking. What gives with all the wisdom?

Excellent post.

I think if you do celebrate Santa with Christmas, it might be a good idea to make sure they know that it is make believe and just for fun and not literal, then it seems like it would be okay.

Black and white thinking also indicates some difficulty in keeping perspective and separating the big issues from the small issues. The lie of Mormonism is a big issue. The lie of Santa Claus is a small issue. Of course, I don't think it's any issue at all. I wasn't harmed by my parents telling me this lie. I have never held it against them. It's a crime without a victim. Mormonism, however, is another matter.

Good point. Thank you.

They can't compare and contrast reality and pretending without both kinds of experiences.

Santa is a false idol in my house. Made of resin, ceramic, even gold!

We all know he's a false idol, but we just can't stop worshiping him. The whole idea of it is so tempting. I'm just sad I can't be sealed to him. Even the plastic one has better attributes than some of my family members.