I am completely estranged from 3 of my siblings and mostly estranged from the other and I'm completely fine with it.
I was estranged from my father for 25 years before his death and have NO REGRETS.
Mother has been dead 9 years and there isn't a time I think of her (daily) that I don't follow up with "thank God she's dead."
If there is a heaven (have no reason to believe there is) it would be ruined if I had to see any of those people again.
I bet most people have some members of their family they feel that way about and lots of dysfunctional families feel that way about their entire families.
Isn't that ok? Why would the Mormon Church (or any church for that matter) promise eternal reunion with people who cause you misery as a reward for doing it right?
It saddens me that you never had the bond with your family that you deserved. Everyone deserves loving parents, but sadly, I learned from the church, that to many the illusion of the perfect happy family is more important then the realism of an actual happy family.
When I was a Mormon, there were a lot of things about myself that made me miserable and hate myself. After I left, those same things are what I love about myself and make me happy. It seems obvious now, but the secret to happiness is to be happy with who you are, rather then making yourself miserable trying to be who you are not.
EXACTLY!!! I think about the CK as being like a really bad sacrament meeting. All those annoying TBM overachievers eternally progressing...no thanks! The lower kingdoms are where it's at!
I am lucky in that my parents and brothers are all already apostates, and much more fun to hang out with then before, when they were good Mormons. I am holding out hope that my sisters will see the light. For some reason, once someone finds out JS was full of BS, they seem to shed a lot of their negative qualities. Or maybe it's just the power of having a good strong drink after work, to wash away the bastard from your soul.
"I wouldn't have to hear their bullshit lies or have them nag me about reproducing ever again!"
Annoying isn't it!! Its not so much that I didn't reproduce, but I didn't do it "right" by their opinion of what "right" is! I don't have the personality to be married, and I don't see the point of it to only end up with a WASband after time passed! I don't know how many times my father has corrected me to others with "She isn't really" after I have given my daughter's surname to someone. I gave her my surname and not her father's.. Why is his DNA worth more then my own?
I was in Senior Primary (I can't remember what year, but I remember exactly where I was sitting) and we were singing "Families Can Be Together Forever" and the thought popped into my head, why would I want to be with them forever when I don't want to be with them now?
I left home right after I graduated high school and haven't been back. I'd rather burn in hell (after these Montana winters, the warm sounds nice!) than stuck in the CK with my mother for eternity.
Too funny! My husband always says... why is my dad so worried whether I'm part of his eternal family? He'll be there with his parents, siblings, and all their parents... etc. etc. He'll have plenty of people at his table. He won't even miss me.
whenever someone at church would bring up being with family FOREVER, I would respond with....stop threatening me...... since mo's have no sense of humor, i would get the evil eye. I thought it was funny, but yet I meant it.
If, according to LDS lore, we all end up with our bodies in their most perfect state -- like in our twenties -- then everyone will look the same age. Imagine your parents being your same age and trying to act all parental on your ass.
I can live without the rest of my family (and do).
Then again, my children, their spouses and my grandchildren and I all get along pretty well. We air our differences honestly when we have them and then move on with our lives and we all love each other very much.
I dislike having a couple of hours of the fam for dinner.
I envision this as an eternity of Crash and Testimony Meeting.
I will pass also. Send me with the tattooed rockers, the bikers, the happy hour crew, and mostly the intellects who dare question the emporer with no clothes.
I would rather be enjoying Johnny Walker Black with Christopher Hitchens in the dark than stale bread and water with Boyd K Packer in the light......
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/24/2011 01:31PM by deco.
That was an a-ha moment for me...when I realized a heaven full of Mormons would be a miserable "reward" for a life well-lived. Non-LDS people are so much more interesting and varied and worth knowing. Mormons are so narrow and judgmental, for the most part. The other thing that is funny is that Mormons think after ignoring their families for their whole earthly life because they are too busy with church busy work, that their family is going to want to be together in eternity. On earth, no bonds were formed or reinforced, children were ignored in favor of fulfilling callings, grandchildren ignored in favor of senior missions and worst of all, sneaky, manipulative control stunts were pulled by Mormons to "keep their family together." Who wants to be with people like that for eternity? People who ignored you and put you second and tried to manipulate you - people who insulted you when you didn't agree or scorned you when you made different choices than they did. Who wants an eternity with those people?
If the LD$ doctrine is right, (I know, that's a BIG "if"),
then the successful CK candidates will have earthly families, and if their kids are also successful CK candidates, all the couples (maybe polygamous "couples") will be gods & goddesses, heading up their own planets, right?
Proving that "families can be together forever" is an impossibility, and also a big lie, even WITHIN mor(m)on doctrine.
So, if you have to spend eternity with someone, make sure it's someone you like.
I was at a cynical friend's house, she's not originally from this country, and she hails from a place the missionaries are not allowed to go (though she's been here for 20 years, just hasn't paid much attention to missionaries). A pair knocked on her door a couple years ago, and they started out with the "do you want to be with your family for eternity" and she said "wow, no! That sounds like punishment" so they switched tactics for a sec but she eventually said "I'm NOT buying what you're selling, I don't even want to be with my family for time (she didn't use this word, I forgot what word she used, but same meaning)"
If we aren't going to be with our families for eternity, who are we going to be with? Are we going to be banished to somewhere all by ourselves? That makes no sense.
Are all of us on this board going to the same place? Not so bad.
the worst hell would be with people who want us to be someone else.
Why do some of my believing TBM family members think they are even going to heaven at all--let alone to the highest kingdom to be a priest or priestess, king or queen, and then God of his own world or one of the Goddess wives?
The family pedophile said that I and my single nieces would be his wives in the next life.
My in-law committed suicide, and his wife still believes that they will be together in the CK.
The relative who stole money from other family members was just put into the Stake High Council. He's a widower, and he says that he can't wait for the CK, so he can see his wife again--young again--plus all the other young, sexy wives he's going to have.
Our neighbor scammed several other neighbors into mortgaging their houses to support his business, and they lost their houses. Our neighbor thinks if he pays tithing and raises money for his favorite charity, that he will still become a God someday.
Where are these people going when they die? Maybe there really is a Mormon-type heaven, only it is not what they think. They will run things as a MLM company, build lots of useless edifices, screw countless women, cheat each other, compete and fight against each other. Ugh. They can have their cult, and their cult heaven.
If there is a God, I will not be with my abusive family in the hereafter.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2011 02:39AM by forestpal.
Ozpoof, I needed this thread tonight. I try to keep the old anxiety away during Christmas and other happy times--but it is a constant battle. I have worked long and hard to overcome my PTSD. It is much better. I have been a kind, loving parent--and almost the opposite of my TBM parents. I have rescued my children from the cult. My children are kinder, more honest, better citizens, more loving, have a better work ethic, have achieved more than any of my other family members, except for my father and my great grandfather (on whose money the others lived, until it ran out.)
My children and I deserve better! We have had to sacrifice so much, work so hard, endure so much abuse, to get where we are. Why would God demote us?