heart back when I was a TBM. All the cruel things I used to say or think about homosexuals, all the rationalizing that certain races were less worthy of Gods love, all the looking down on people who dared to enjoy their wine, or had the nerve to have sex outside of marriage, my heart aches.

I was truly a pathetic human being, and because of my bigotry, non-mos tended to not really like me. Since leaving the church, and learning to look at people for who they are, and not for the labels put on them by others, I have found that I have become a much happier person. It also seems I must be funner to be around, because I have actually found true friends since them, who actually care for me, and don't see me as a church statistic.

So to all those I have hated, insulted, and generally been a jerk too, I would like to say, I am sorry. Even if you never read this.

You have no idea. I was one of those nasty TBMs who made everyone's life a living hell. I just feel I can't move forward until I admit how bad I was so I can do better.

carcass breath.

titless.

all kinds of stuff.

Endothermically challenged

Walnut brain

I am not taking back anything I said about iguanas. Those things are just creepy.

Just watch out if they get ever get exposed to radiation. Then they might destroy your entire town for those insults!

None of whom would ever go gay for me.

Best present I've received today.

It is truly horrific to look back, and also very unsettling to realize how easily it was to be taken in. Strengthens the commitment to evidence and caution before accepting any propositions.

Please forgive yourself. Sometimes that's the hardest part. You have grown up, in a matter of speaking, and you need to put the past behind you. "Let he who is without guilt cast the first stone."

I am forgiving myself, but that doesn't mean I can't say I am sorry.

The sincere expression of remorse for past actions is a sign of forgiving yourself.

Its always best to apologize rather than make excuses.

Timothy

It can be tough for someone with so much pride and ego to let go of it and apologize with sincerity. Some people in my family are still struggling with that. I used to struggle with a lot of things all pent up. I still find myself struggling to let some things go that I haven't felt fully validated on or feel haven't been fully resolved. For the most part, it feels good to be free from holding onto such a heavy burden called hate.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/25/2011 12:16PM by freshperspective.

I had a "yes on 8" sign in my front yard! (it was handed to me as I left church one Sunday, do you believe it?)
Ditto to what forbiddencokedrinker said above. So glad to be reformed!

If it makes you feel better, the fastest way to give gays the right to marry seems to be to pass an unconstitutional law saying that they can't. It's one of the great things about living in a Republic.

Threats of "the gay agenda" were always such a joke in the gay community. Who were they kidding? We just weren't that motivated or cohesive enough to have an "agenda". But all that changed after prop 8. A whole new generation of glbt young people became passionate activists. The complacent older glbts got off their duffs and started fighting back. Oh hell yes, there's a gay agenda now, and it's our full civil rights, thank you. No more Mr. Nice Gay. The Church created a tidal wave of response that can't be stopped.

Hey, don't be so hard on yourself. It's part of growing and learning as a human bean. :)

those words of bigotry still eek from the mouths of my TBM family. Many of my family are successful, educated... yet still putting their pre-determined conclusions before any personal study or research.

I saw it all years ago... different time, different targets, now erased, but currently replaced with new biases.

You might find this interesting:

"Some individuals in my story have been cast in the role of villains. I have met many of these people outside of Scientology and have found them to be concerned, caring people who regret some of the decisions they made while inside the Church. The Church of Scientology, in my opinion, often brings out the worst in people."

This is a quote taken from the preface of Counterfeit Dreams, by Jefferson Hawkins, about his 35 years as a member of the church of Scientology.

I read this shortly after reading your post, and realized immediately that it can apply in many instances to the Mormon church as well.

Like you, after waking up and leaving the Morg, I felt sorry for many of my thoughts and actions as a member of the church. Perhaps when we realize that the church taught us to think and act in uncharitable ways, we can more easily forgive ourselves. Not to place all of the blame on the church, for that would negate personal responsibility. But certainly, the church must shoulder some of that responsibility as well.

I too have found, since leaving the church, that I have made some true friends, who love and appreciate me for who I am, regardless of my religious affiliation or lack thereof.

It teaches racism, sexism, homophobia, hate and bigotry under the guise of truth.

The cult's attitude toward and treatment of minorities and women is what drove me out.

I should be very cautious of those who don't change their perspective upon leaving. Sadly, there are a few frequent RFMers who actually voted for Prop H8 and show no remorse whatsoever for doing so. One even went so far as to ask us to "Rejoice In The Victory Of Others" the day after the election.

This would be the same poster who constantly requests that RFM participants not refer to the cult as a cult.

Make no mistake. It is a cult. Anyone who adheres to its teachings or finds cause to defend it is a racist, sexist homophobe.

Rejoice in the fact that you longer associate with such a**-hats!

Timothy

+1

as a gay man, i say thanks =)

white and delightsome...and because I was born into Zion and to a devout...and to an extended devout family. It took a long long time for me to realize that that was nothing short of brainwashing.

Documentarys I have been seeing of late indicate that Neanderthal did not go extinct as was assumed by earlier views of man's early history. All of us have 4% Neanderthal genes unless we are African, who have no Neanderthal genes.

If anyone is special by pure race, it would probably be those who do not have traces of Neanderthal.

a**--but if I hadn't had my experiences, I would have never found my way out of the LDS church (or any religion).

I had a therapist tell me that everyone should beware of our prejudices.

You're forgiven. I was that guy too. I have video recordings of myself as a missionary, and evey time I see it I want to knock some sense into that prick. I was never Raptor's companion but I was Elder Fuckwit. Sorry bout that everyone!

Very well said. And it is true you can't move on until you say publicly how your thinking was all wrong and rude. You should be proud of the growth that has taken place within you and hopefully you can aid others who choose to leave Mormonism-when they do.

I so much wish I could have that time back. (But, as my mom would have said, "Wish in one hand and shit in the other, and see which one fill up faster.")

I've looked at hate from both sides now... No, that isn't the missing verse to the Judy Collins song, but it is a marker of learning.

I've done so many things I am not proud of, but the upside is, I am so grateful for any forgiveness and I would never dare not forgive anyone again, well may be not Spencer W., or Joseph, or Brigham Young....

The beauty of leaving the church is you finally get the clean slate that you were promised at 8.

Your post is what it's all about. Thank you Forbiddencokedrinker