Recovery Board
: RfM
Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum.
Did you get pinned ?
Pretty good, I got a new MacBook Pro. :)
Yeah, I'm envious of myself right now, too. LOL
OK, so its Festivus and Ziller has got to eat some food, right?
That three-day diet of vodka, cranberry juice and potato chips was getting old, you know?
Deep East Texas was having a typical “Green Christmas”. It was cold by most southern standards, overcast, and complete with liquefied snow in the form of a cold slow steady drizzle.
Ziller walked out to the storage facility and opened up the garage bay containing the vintage 1979 Corvette. She fired right up and Ziller eased her out into the weather.
What the f*ck, right? It’s Festivus.
The weather-stripping on the vette leaks like a sieve, but at least Ziller will be rolling up on you in style when he comes to lay down a Feat-of-Strength on your punk ass, right?
OK ~ so Ziller points the vette toward the Great City of Houston and commences to motoring, but the weather and traffic are so bad that Ziller has to whip in to a liquor store and get re-supply just to stay loose.
Ziller takes public safety issues very seriously.
Well, while in the liquor store parking lot, Ziller took the time to bust off several phone calls to people who have disappointed Ziller during the past year ~ trying to track their punk-asses down to exemplify a Feat-of-Strength on their entire family if necessary, right?
But nobody was answering their gotdamm phones, right?
Anyway, just up the street is a place advertising “Surf and Turf Special = $9.99”
Hella yeah!
OK ~ but wait…
Usually Ziller don’t go in no restaurants with no windows, right? Ziller likes to be able to see his food. And usually those places with no windows aren’t very well lit indoors either, you know?
But this place had a bunch of nekkid lady statues around a fountain outside which prolly means its an Italian place, right?
OK ~ so Ziller valets the Corvette and tips an extra $20 (US) so that they keep the car parked right out front.
Now this was the damnedest Italian restaurant Ziller had ever seen. OK ~ so when was the last time you had to walk through a metal detector and pay $50 (US) just to walk into an Italian restaurant, right?
But the food was damm good, OK? Ziller is trying to tell you about a 1” thick medium-rare steak, grilled bacon-wrapped shrimp, and a loaded baked potato. And a fully stocked bar, OK?
OK ~ so after Ziller finishes throwing down supper and has a few after-supper cocktails, he notices that this particular Italian restaurant is having a Festivus kind-of office party where all the men dress up like middle aged businessmen and all the women dress up like whores.
OK ~ so Ziller had just barely finished digesting his meal when this chick dressed like Santa’s Naughty Niece walks up and asks Ziller if he wants to see her room.
Now Ziller ain’t gay, right? But Ziller does appreciate a variety of interior decorating tastes. So if some young woman wants Ziller to take a look at her room, Ziller is down with that, OK?
Well, son-of-a-mother-f*cking bitch!
OK ~ Ziller wasn’t in this chick’s room 15 seconds. Ziller is trying to tell you that he didn’t even have enough time to comment on this chick’s choice of wallpaper.
This chick pinned Ziller in a Feat-of-Strength that would make Uma Thurman proud, dog!
To add certain insult to probable injury, she extorted $100 (US) from Ziller before she would let him up!!!
Happy Festivus indeedingly yours,
ziller
That three-day diet of vodka, cranberry juice and potato chips was getting old, you know?
Deep East Texas was having a typical “Green Christmas”. It was cold by most southern standards, overcast, and complete with liquefied snow in the form of a cold slow steady drizzle.
Ziller walked out to the storage facility and opened up the garage bay containing the vintage 1979 Corvette. She fired right up and Ziller eased her out into the weather.
What the f*ck, right? It’s Festivus.
The weather-stripping on the vette leaks like a sieve, but at least Ziller will be rolling up on you in style when he comes to lay down a Feat-of-Strength on your punk ass, right?
OK ~ so Ziller points the vette toward the Great City of Houston and commences to motoring, but the weather and traffic are so bad that Ziller has to whip in to a liquor store and get re-supply just to stay loose.
Ziller takes public safety issues very seriously.
Well, while in the liquor store parking lot, Ziller took the time to bust off several phone calls to people who have disappointed Ziller during the past year ~ trying to track their punk-asses down to exemplify a Feat-of-Strength on their entire family if necessary, right?
But nobody was answering their gotdamm phones, right?
Anyway, just up the street is a place advertising “Surf and Turf Special = $9.99”
Hella yeah!
OK ~ but wait…
Usually Ziller don’t go in no restaurants with no windows, right? Ziller likes to be able to see his food. And usually those places with no windows aren’t very well lit indoors either, you know?
But this place had a bunch of nekkid lady statues around a fountain outside which prolly means its an Italian place, right?
OK ~ so Ziller valets the Corvette and tips an extra $20 (US) so that they keep the car parked right out front.
Now this was the damnedest Italian restaurant Ziller had ever seen. OK ~ so when was the last time you had to walk through a metal detector and pay $50 (US) just to walk into an Italian restaurant, right?
But the food was damm good, OK? Ziller is trying to tell you about a 1” thick medium-rare steak, grilled bacon-wrapped shrimp, and a loaded baked potato. And a fully stocked bar, OK?
OK ~ so after Ziller finishes throwing down supper and has a few after-supper cocktails, he notices that this particular Italian restaurant is having a Festivus kind-of office party where all the men dress up like middle aged businessmen and all the women dress up like whores.
OK ~ so Ziller had just barely finished digesting his meal when this chick dressed like Santa’s Naughty Niece walks up and asks Ziller if he wants to see her room.
Now Ziller ain’t gay, right? But Ziller does appreciate a variety of interior decorating tastes. So if some young woman wants Ziller to take a look at her room, Ziller is down with that, OK?
Well, son-of-a-mother-f*cking bitch!
OK ~ Ziller wasn’t in this chick’s room 15 seconds. Ziller is trying to tell you that he didn’t even have enough time to comment on this chick’s choice of wallpaper.
This chick pinned Ziller in a Feat-of-Strength that would make Uma Thurman proud, dog!
To add certain insult to probable injury, she extorted $100 (US) from Ziller before she would let him up!!!
Happy Festivus indeedingly yours,
ziller
So does this mean you had a good Festivus? Expensive, yes, but OK otherwise?
They're shaped like bottles and come with Jim Beam, Grand Marnier and a couple of others.
Best son ever!
Best son ever!