My Nephew is going to serve his mission in Brisbane Australia and I feel like telling him that he is only wasting his time. All he is going to do is lie to people and baptize them poor souls.What a waste of 2 years for my nephew. His dad is a bishop and his Mother is my sister in law. What can I do in this situation? Shall i let him go on his mission or shall I just tell him everything about TSCC!

My nephew is in the MTC as we speak and ready to ship off to Argentina.
These kids make their own choces, no matter how brainwashed they are.


All you can do is hope and provide support and a possible a safety net if they choose to leave early or come back completely jaded.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2011 12:58AM by Itzpapalotl.

I'd like to see a nearby "safe house" in Provo for MTC missionaries that defect on their own free will. Maybe a house nearby on stadium ave. where a mishie could go and get detoxed. Provide them with some advice and travel plans and school options. Word would get around on twitter/FB.

one could only hope.

A nice idea, but then what would such a de-programmed missionary have to look forward to?

Returning home to certain disgrace, very possible ostrscisation from family and/or friends etc etc.

A nice idea, but there would, sadly, be ramifications for the future.

"A nice idea, but then what would such a de-programmed missionary have to look forward to?
Returning home to certain disgrace, very possible ostrscisation from family and/or friends etc etc.
A nice idea, but there would, sadly, be ramifications for the future."

That's what I think, too. Some of my atheist friends wanted me to aggressively challenge the sister mishies when they were trying to convert me (I moved to another part of town last month and they no longer have my contact info... aside from the email addy, which they can't use until after their mission... hahaha). I thought about it and declined. It's probably better off for them that they complete their mission and then find their way out of the church later, otherwise the failure to complete the mission will likely be shamelessly used against them just when they are most vulnerable. :o(

It was really hopeful for me finding this board and other exmo blogs (thanks a bunch, Knotty!). If you guys could find your way out of that trap, I have hope that my nice mishies (at least the last 3 I met with) may escape before long without too much damage (hopefully they don't get married and start having kids right after mission. That'd really complicate things, ay?). :o)

Some things you can only learn by doing. Before he leaves, simply tell your nephew that if he EVER wants to talk about anything at all, to email you (I understand mishies can use the interwebs these days) and you will be there for him, no matter how unusual or upsetting he thinks it may be.

Remind him that this is a wonderful experience to live in another country and to be sure to enjoy his surroundings as much as he can, and not get too stressed out about numbers.

Write him often, be supportive and show him a lot of love, and it will go a lot farther than any negative things you have to say.

I have heard (but cannot confirm) that web usage is monitored and emails may well be read by third parties.

I don't know if this is correct or not, but it might be something to be aware of.

That is interesting . . . my step-daughter is not on a mission but goes to BYUH. My husband and I have often thought and felt that her mother or TSCC (or someone) has been monitoring her web usage and emails.

I don't know if this is a universal mishie thing, but the mishies in California San Diego Mission can only use the church email system ( @myldsmail.net ), only on P-Day, and they can only use it to email to immediate family members (not even to grandparents). They can receive emails from friends, though, but they can't reply the same way... So they prefer that non-immediate family members write to them by snail mail since they only have like 50 min or so of internet time.

Sorry to hear about your nephew's loss.

That is two years I wish I could have back. A mission is the biggest waste of time...ever. If someone is planning a career as an Amway salesman or other MLM scam, then a mission is a good idea. Otherwise, avoidance is the best path.

No advice really. Hopefully missions will eventually become a net loss for mormonism and missions will go away.

May I remind you that our dear President Paternoster is an Amway rep.

"You're a volunteer, they don't own you, and they only have the authority over you that you give them. That stuff about their power of discernment? It's baloney. And don't let them take your passport, if they try."

You ask what you can do - I say write him once a week. Keep religion/church talk out of the letter. Give him family updates and community updates and world updates. Cut out articles that are interesting, send a comic strip from the daily paper - just something simple that keeps him in touch with the outside world. I did this for a friend's daughter who is ultra molly mormon. I wrote her more often than her family. She was always appreciative and if the news articles and comic strips would have been forbidden, she would have nicly asked me not to include them anymore. Just be the one normal person in touch with them and you will shine bright.

Encourage him to really get to know people apart from his sales job - really listen to them, try every possible cultural experience and new food, and enjoy the time away from the real world. There is a lot to be learned living as part of another culture. All is not lost.

...oh, and get a non-church email to check from libraries or homes :-)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/27/2011 01:35PM by moonbeam.

If it makes you feel better, the biggest group the church has for going inactive and leaving the church is RMs.

For many of us, our Missions were the first time we really got to see how the church operated.

Dear Curious,

Chill.

I went on a mission. I wanted to. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I hated parts of it worse than I have hated anything in my now 50 years of life. I loved parts of it too. The parts of it that I hold dear now, are not even things that I was really aware of at the time. My mission opened my eyes to a whole world outside of the Salt Lake Valley. You put a young Utah kid on the Med. Sea for a couple of years, and something is bound to happen.

The same may be true for your nephew--or not.

My advice is to live the life you desire. Be as happy and fulfilled as you can be. Those around you, including your nephew will see this and wonder.

My son just turned in his mission papers last week. I stopped trying to talk him out of it a few years ago. Since then I have been supporting and encouraging him. I believe that by him going he will at some point realize what the church is all about. Yeah, the biggest group the church has for going inactive and leaving the church is RMs. The actions speak for themselves. The church is it's own worst enemy.

Well, I feel for these kids today also. I'm a bit tricky and got out of going at all. That was a strange time, 1990/91 and I was being recruited by the Communist regime. I just had no clue at the time. Anyhow, I got away with it. That's why I didn't go. I understand that I took a chance with everything I had on the plate. I made it through professional school and relieved that the intimidation factor of competing with returned missionaries is more daunting than anticipated. Something to be said for respect that is tightly protected by your church standard. When I was floating, I was floating, when I was sinking....oh god was a sinking. But I can say I escaped because I was allowed to get away with it. Certainly a credit to my TBM parents. This I will not discount at all in the bigger picture. They deserve much respect for allowing 2 children to not participate in their way of getting around in the world and making associations. It's difficult on them. Much respect for sure. Cuz I know I couldn't even ever begin to believe the program. How was I so sneaky?