We all know that a cookie is never going to bring us back, but that just one beer has the power to destroy testimonies and ruin lives, usher in the apocalypse and cause drunkenness. It's a sure fire way to convert your TBM friends into ex-mos.

Only down side, it might also be a waist of beer which is one of the few true sins.

I know my brother would freak out, not even wanting to touch it so he could throw it away. Maybe he'd try scooping it up with a shovel, or call some fellow high priest over to pray over it and render it safe enough to handle with rubber gloves. Or maybe he'd pray for an angel to take it away, like the gold plates.

Sooo...I know you're being sarcastic and all, but in reality, your brother would have a major problem with this??

I assume your brother is a temple-worthy, tithe-paying, calling-holding TBM....

So why then (for those with the mormon mindset, not you Stray Mutt), is it ok for Romney to campaign in and be photographed in a coffee shop and inside or outside a bar where clearly behind him is a Jim Beam sign.

I mean if some people are so hung up on alcohol, then how do they justify Romney in or by a bar... The same for coffee too.

I had lunch with him once when I lived in San Francisco. A waiter accidentally brought someone else's drink order to our table -- a beer and what looked like scotch or burbon. My brother leaped back in his seat like some had just dropped a bomb on the table. In a panicked voice about two octaves higher than normal, he screeched, "THAT'S NOT MINE!"

In a calm voice, as the rest of the diners stared at my brother, I told the startled waiter, "I think this goes to a different table."

The waiter took the drinks, giving me a look as if asking, "What's wrong with that other guy?"

True story.

Then there was the time traveling across the country with my parents. We stopped at a very busy restaurant in Missouri and they seated us at a table that hadn't been completely bussed. My parents were aghast, not because they sat us at a table that wasn't ready, but because there was an empty beer bottle.

The waitress apologized and took the bottle, explaining that Missouri law prohibited anyone under 18 years old from handling alcohol, and the busboy was 16.

You would have thought they'd been served fresh cow pies for the way they carried on all through the meal.

Wow. Looks like you turned out okay. Congrats on being a normal functioning member of society.

I do enjoy the looks of Morglings when there is booze around. I try to do my best and get it out of view, but sometimes I like being the obvious drunk.

That's extreme for sure.


Soooooooooo.....why don't people like your family freak out like that with Romney slapping backs in coffe shops and around bars....

They have different rules and standards.

Don't ask it to make sense.

That's just how it works.

Is that kind of like how if you are a regular member running a little store, you are strongly discouraged from selling beer, porn, or cigarettes, but all of these things can be found for sell at any Marriott property? Why, I hear Marriott is even opening up a casino together with MGM grand. They will probably have a special section for high rollers who like to make $10,000 bets.

I wonder if they'll call it the Romney room?

He's showing the sinners that they, too, could become wealthy and handsome if they'd give up their bad habits and become Mormons.

Or a package with a pair of non-regulation underwear.

I only share the good stuff with my friends.

If you must give away nasty beer make sure it is Beer 30. Yes there is such a thing.

My personal opinion would be to drink all the beer then leave the repacked empties on the door step. That way they can recycle for you.

Oh God that stuff is terrible. My group of friends keeps some around as a gag.

http://beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/1422/32918

" I thought it tasted like most other beers of the style. My friend felt like it had a rubber taste like someone swirled a condom in it. Of course we all proceeded to make fun of him for quite a while for that comment with a variety of jokes. "

"This beer comes in a purple can. That should tell you something right off the bat. This is by far the worst tasting beer I have ever imbibed. The mouth feel is extremely thin and watery. It barely taste like beer. It just taste terrible and smells terrible, like dirty corn and urine. It leaves a strange after taste in your mouth, reminiscent of stale grape soda mixed with hooker spit that's been run across a dirty concrete floor."

"Smells like freshman year. Cooked corn and cereal grains. Reminds me of sexual interaction with questionable looking girls, projectile vomit, and passing out, only to wake up with penises drawn all over any exposed skin. It's the typical light lager smell.

"I've never eaten creamed corn before a night of heavy drinking that led to me vomiting up booze and said creamed corn, but I imagine it would taste something like this. Meant to be consumed ice cold so it numbs your taste buds so you can't taste the millions of tiny Satans contained in each drop of this beer pissing on your tongue. This is the type of light lager you drink when you're in high school, and pour half of it out when no one's looking so you look cool. I know this is the type of beer designed for pounding, but drinkability is also enjoyment-based, so this gets a 1. Remember all those parties you went to in high school? Remember how people always made awful faces after every gulp? There's no way I'd drink an entire can of this. If I need a buzz that badly, I'll shave my head."

"I gagged and gagged and gagged. Normally I like perrier, but this tasted like perrier and asparagus pee. You know how your pee smells after you eat a ton of asparagus? Thats what this smells and tastes like."



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 12/31/2011 11:37PM by Dave the Atheist.

I wouldn't.

C'mon, Hela, that would be insulting to even the skankiest beer.

And that's all I have to say about that!

Timothy



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2011 12:32PM by Timothy.

I second this. Pre-packaged food passes the Presbyterian test.

It is a sin.

Eww...if we leave it at the front door it'll get contaminated with germs and stuff. I would be appalled and disgusted with anybody who would drink this germ beer from those dirty exmos.

Yes...but the alcohol that mormons are afraid of...KILLS those germs..:)

But is still stalking and only horrible Mormons would do such a ghastly thing. We wouldn't want to do anything so crass.Besides an innocent child or family pet might get into it first with severe consequences.Someone could trip on it and get badly hurt. I am ashamed of you.We should respect people's boundaries and if we must give beer, hand it to them in the manner of a civilized non Mormon.LOL



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2011 07:39PM by bona dea.

You didn't see my smiley face I take it??

I should have put a smiley face too. I was making some fun of the food Nazis here who delight in telling me what I should do with food left by my door. LOL.

Ok gotcha. In full disclosure, I was one one the one's who said it was unsanitary when food is left on the porch for a long time.

Anyways...Happy New Year..

nonmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Ok gotcha. In full disclosure, I was one one the
> one's who said it was unsanitary when food is left
> on the porch for a long time.
>
> Anyways...Happy New Year..

It can be unsanitary and my post wasn't aimed at you. I'm just a little tired of all the threads this week alone, forget the past, where someone tells us the one true way to deal with food gifts.Like we can't decide for ourselves.This has been going on since I came to the board years ago, and IMO, it is getting old.I lost count of how many threads we have had on this during this Christmas Season.Like I said, there are a couple of posters who can't let this die and this was aimed at them.

I'm sorry, I am new, and I started this thread because to me it is a fresh topic, and something that I need to poke fun of, because I am just realizing how adsorb it is for the first time. It probably keeps popping up because so many of us newbies are seeing the light for the first time. I'll probably be sick of it in a month, and all my jokes were probably first told a lot better by more clever folks a long time ago, but I was not there when it happened.

No problem and you are not the poster who keeps bringing this up ad nauseum. Everyone can write what they like whether I am sick of the subject or not. I just decided to make fun of it.For the record, lots of posts come up on a pretty regular basis-the age of JS's wives, whether Jesus was real for example-but the difference is that we don't have one thread after another over a period of a couple of weeks on those subjects. We discuss it and the subject goes away for a few months until someone new brings it up. Posters change all the time. That is to be expected.I'm just wondering how many times we are going to be told that there is one true way to deal with unwanted food? The answer seems to be a lot more. LOL BTW, I think this thread is funny. It is a new take on the subject at least. However, I'm not going to waste my money leaving beer on Mormon porches. I'd rather make beer bread.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/30/2011 10:17PM by bona dea.

You need to remember about me that I am a very snarky SOB. I deal with pain and stress by poking fun at it. In fact, what I really want to do is put together a comedy act about growing up LDS. All my never-mo friends tell me I should, but I don't for fear of hurting my relationship with my TBM siblings.

Do it here and not in front of the TBMs.

Exactly where I want to go.

I'll clarify my position. If your leaving treats/food for the only reason to be...nice to someone, help them (they had a kid or something), then that's what it is...a nice thing to do. You sound like you've done it for this reason and would rather give the food to the person personally. You're not trying to coerce someone.

My comments and others were aimed at those people who just randomly left food at stranger's doors for the only reason of reactivating them or getting them to go to church, that's stalking (left cookies at the "Smiths'" house - check this one off)

Hahaha! Well said. I love it when we agree on something. :)

I like to give a bottle of wine as a gift. I put it in a nice wine carrier decorated with grapes and vines, because it really tops off the gift but doesn't get above about $15. I would never, ever leave something like that at the door, I would deliver it in person.

*ding dong* *door opens*

Me (and anyone I can get to come along): "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

TBM at door: "Merry Christmas."

Me: "We can't stay long. I just wanted to thank you for the very nice gift of homemade cookies that you anonymously left at my door. Sneaky guy!" *laughter with finger guns*

TBM: "Well, we were just being friendly."

Me: "Well, thank you. I just came to drop this off and wish you a Merry Christmas!" *handing off tube-shaped container with bow*

TBM: (realizing what it is) "But wait! We can't accept this! We don't drink! It's.. uhh.. it's against our religion!"

Me: "Oh, don't sweat it. You can just regift it. MERRY CHRISTMAS!" *walking away waving*

Just leave one bottle of the nastiest, cheapest beer on the doorstep.

and see if they get how tacky that is.

Give them a tasters choice. A six pack with six different beers. Christ, I gotta get going to the party.

If every exmo who got food left by their door did indeed return the "favor" by doing the same thing with beer (or empty beer cans, or empty liquor bottles; they would work too), and if you didn't know who left it, if you just left it at the most TBM doors in your neighborhood, then...

Wouldn't the unwanted food gifts start to disappear in very short order?

It wouldn't take long until it was no longer cool to leave unwanted food...because each unwanted gift would definitely be reciprocated.