Though I've hinted, I've never told my brother that we no longer believe in TSCC. So assuming they were still TBMs, we blessed the food last night and I've been wearing layers to hid my lack of garments. It's dumb, I know, but you know how it is. Anyway, I noticed on the first day SIL's lack of garments, then they mentioned how it's not worth going to church because they just end up in the halls the whole time with their toddlers, then she made a couple of jokes about drinking alcohol, and they do frequently speak negatively about the leadership in their ward...

It's making me wonder if they gone lukewarm on mormondumb.

Of course, then they did tell a story about being annoyed that they got a peppermint mocha twice instead of peppermint hot chocolate. But I think that might have been a taste thing more than a WOW thing.

Curious to find out without giving ourselves away. How do you do that without getting the fake answers we give to pretend for family members?

i think you should talk frankly about your beliefs or lack thereof! you will prolly be surprised...:) course easy for me to say! :)

I agree....get to the heart of it. Say something they may agree with about what you don't like and go from there. Don't hold back. Make this a yr. you are true with feelings and stop the faking.

...end up not knowing the other disbelieves, too, because they're both afraid to out themselves.

How about something like, "I want to ask you a question. It doesn't matter to me which way the answer goes. I only hope it's an authentic answer, not just what's supposed to be the "right" answer. Okay? So, where are you guys in regard to the church?"

Of course, you need to be ready if he asks, "What about you?" -- no matter what his reply was.

Wouldn't it be nice to have some sort of secret combination that only ExMos know? Maybe when shaking hands, stick out the middle finger instead of the pointer?? lol