I think many times rants can lead to valuable insights.

I think venting often accomplishes more than punching a pillow or throwing tomatoes at someone's picture.

Composing ideas and typing them out for others to read takes planning and insight. This can lead to a new higher level of understanding in the writer and often times in readers.

I often read about on RfM how venting or ranting doesn't do anyone any good because anger is a negative emotion. Others counter this knee-jerk dismissal by saying that recovery can and should involve release of anger.

Yes, that might usually be true.

But I've seen new and thoughtful replies and emotional growth when posters write and reply to venting. Sometimes this happens the first time they rage about what is bothering them. Other times it comes after many many posts about the same topic.

I think venting is too easily discounted. It can much more valuable than simply letting off steam. A rant gives us a chance to see a situation in a new way and offers opportunities to reply and touch others with new growndbreaking insights.

Venting is about much more than letting go of frustrations or anger. Let's give credit where it's due.

I am troubled when Mormons and even some ex-Mormons try to tell people that they should not feel their emotions, specifically anger. We have emotions for a reason and trying to bottle them up does no one any good. I think the best way to deal with them is to feel the emotion, but express them in healthy, non-harmful ways. Venting at a place like this message board seems like a good idea to me.

Of course you get people saying that people post here for years and years and never seem to get over their anger. Well, Mormonism does its damage for years and years and continues to attack its former members through family members for years and years, so of course people are going to feel anger from that.

I question the motives of Mormons who would say that anger should be controlled somehow. What's it to them? Oh yes, the anger is toward their church to which they have an irrational devotion. It works in their favor to not have anyone feeling any anger toward their church. Just forget it all and let bygones be bygones, right?

Makurosu Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I am troubled when Mormons and even some
> ex-Mormons try to tell people that they should not
> feel their emotions, specifically anger. We have
> emotions for a reason and trying to bottle them up
> does no one any good. I think the best way to deal
> with them is to feel the emotion, but express them
> in healthy, non-harmful ways. Venting at a place
> like this message board seems like a good idea to
> me.


+10,000

Serenity now....insanity later...

This is the perfect outlet for letting loose your mind. First it's anonymous. No one really knows you. As a result you can say what you want to everyone. Secondly all the people here are generally pissed by the same thing (crappy church) and furthermore we are all less than one degree of separation apart. (I guarantee that if I used my real name people would know me because I am from South Jordan - its for safety!) It's not like flipping off a cage fighter filled with roids who would drive you off the road and bite your ear off. Instead it's like raising a beer in your left hand, raising your right arm to the square with fingers extended and palm facing forward then swiveling your palm to face inward and leaving your middle extended upward pull down on your other four fingers and then fix your whole person on 40°45′0″N 111°53′0″W and then chant "hear the words of my mouth...Fuck off bitches!"

It's therapy and it's great.

Well said, Cheryl! Anger is recognized as one of the stages of grief and behavioral experts generally agree that people have to work through it in order to make any kind of progress. Ignoring it, suppressing it up, or pretending it doesn't exist will not achieve that aim.

VERY TRUE!! I've moved on in a lot of ways since I left, but I have three kids (two of them minors) who are still members. Things come up sometimes and emotions can easily be triggered when I get the occasional sucker punch. This place is the safety valve. And the learning curve.
I read other people's posts, and see what they're going through, things I've never personally dealt with and can't imagine having to endure. These are my personal heros and heroines......not because they're perfect; in fact because they're NOT. Because they're the OPPOSITE of that fake, stereotypical self-important, self-righteous, and utterly, utterly false front that Mormons present in their blatantly obvious quest for "perfection", LD$ Inc. style.
I learn so much from the personal experiences of others; and those who post in understanding, culled from years of life experience and coming to terms with what can and does change......and what doesn't.

And then there's the rich, raucous, rowdy, and frequently rude humor. Also a much-needed catharsis ;P
And the just plain bizarre or obscure tidbits from deep in the Mormon vaults that someone will bring up.........and you realize that even after 22 years in the cult, there's much, much, MUCH more than you ever realized or wanted to know!

I love this crazy place, a refuge from, and a resource for, the other crazy place we've left, or are in the process of leaving, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
And I love all these crazy wonderful full-of-life people!!!
Happy 2012 everyone; hope to see many more make this THEIR year of freedom :)

Great thread! Happy New Year, everybody.

I've appreciated the support of this board. As a victim of all kinds of Mormon abuse, and resulting PTSD, the expression of anger has been key to my recovery. At first, I didn't even know I was angry. Anger turned inward becomes depression. Just when I would think my anger rants were ended, something else would happen: Proposition 8, new evidence in the polygamy trials, a Mormon bishop relative trying to steal from the family business, temple marriages I'm unworthy to attend, being shunned, more and more historical lies uncovered, etc. There's always some on-going crap perpetuating itself.

We introverts would rather retreat, but some of us are stuck in Utah, stuck with TBM families, trying to help our children see the Truth. Anger has spurred us on to action. We can help each other on RFM. We can reason with new investigators who are not yet brainwashed. I saved my children from the cult! Many of us have become assertive. We have set boundaries with cult members who know no boundaries, and who think they are above the law. We have taken back our power from a group of phony buffoons who once claimed power over our lives--even the power of God himself!

Anger has been our catalyst, and many of us could not have escaped the cult without it .

from growing up in a toxic or emotionally distant home.

And one of the steps is to FEEL the emotions that come naturally when you realize what happened and how it affected you. And the author makes a special point that you CANNOT skip that step in your recovery and expect to actually get better. She also mentioned that most people WANT to skip that step and go straight to the recovery part.


Many of us grew up thinking that anger was an unacceptable emotion. But you can't suppress one emotion (such as anger) without suppressing ALL your emotions to some degree. To suppress one emotion is to numb them all.

I agree with those who say it's unhealthy to deny such an important human emotion. Many need this forum as a outet. Anger is power and sometimes unleashing it triggers courage and the energy to face and solve problems.

But over the years I've also seen rants which lead to important personal enlitenment in the writer and in those who reply. I think it must also helps many questioning and exmo lurkers but angers and embarrasses TBMs and mormon apologists.

I have a hard time venting because by the time it's ready to post, I'm crying. (wich f~<ks up everything for the next hour or so.)

Amazing. After all these years, the wounds still won't close.

Getting pissed, angry, furious, and in a rage, brought me out of the nightmare that would have eventually destroyed me and my family.

Yay for anger. I love it. It saved my life. Now back in your cage til I need you again :)