I had to write this one real slow so I wouldn't get overly emotional.


As longh as I can remember, people in my family have told this "humorous" story about my dad.

Before school one day my grandmother gave my father some money to pick up some specific items at the store on the way home from school.

Dutifly he did as instructed, and brought the items home. Upon arrivial he discovered: no change! He searched himself completely, NO CHANGE.

Gramma accused him of buying candy and eating it on the way home. He denied it.

She began to beat him. Still, he denied it.

She increased the level of violence until finally my dad admitted, "Yes, I bought candy".

On the way home from work, my Grandad stopped at the store and was informed that his son had forgotten to take his change.

Upon being enlightened by my Grandfather, Gramma grabbed my dad and commenced to beat him again for "lying" to her.

Grandad put a stop to it.

This story has always made me sick. I noticed when this story began, my dad would leave the room. I also noticed that the only ones who thought this was a humorous tale, were TBM women.

I think these stories helped them rationalize the violent acts committed against their own children.

Even after all these years, I feel ashamed for not having the balls to call CPS.

Wow, I can't even fathom how anyone could find that story funny. I don't see anything funny about it, it's appalling. Your grandmother was mean.

Someone- you, maybe?- got up and said, "Dang, Gramma, you sure were mean and unreasonable, weren't you?" or "Man! I sure ain't goin' to the store for YOU!"

Maybe at the very least made a disgusted face and stalked out?

Your poor dad.

Stalker, my house was worse than his.I was goddamned sick and tired of being punished for the smallest infractiom.

That story is so sad.

It brings to mind an event that happened in my family when I was about 6.

My mother went into her bedroom and saw a pair of sun glasses on her night stand she didn't recognize. She lined 4 of her children up, ages 4 to 10, and asked them where they came from. One by one we all told her we didn't know, we had never seen them before. She kept interrogating us. Over and over. Finally she said she was going to whip everyone of us unless someone confessed to stealing them. She went down the line and whipped every one of us just like she said she would. Still, nobody confessed. A few minutes later the phone rang. It was her friend asking if she had left her sunglasses there. My mother was laughing when she told my father the story. She never apologized to any of us. I always hated her after that.

There's such a thing as being too nice. You've been too nice to the people who tell this mean spirited story over and over. It's time to tell them in no uncertain terms to cut it out. Stick up for your dad. He was small and weak when he was a kid, and something within him still feels small and weak whenever he hears that awful story again and again. It's bullying, pure and simple.

I've got a problem with anger. (go figure.) Already done prison time over it. And people can't understand why I'm an Atheist.

The worship of a cruel God makes for a cruel person.

Read Shakesprare, history, we're a bunch of dickheads. (figurativly)

Proof that torture doesn't work...

Something similar happened to me - more than once, but on one particular occasion......my parents had gone out for the evening. They had an old turn table - the kind that folded up into a cupboard - and when then came home the turntable was down. They got me and my three sisters out of bed, I'd say it was around midnight, and lined us up against the wall. My dad interrogated us one by one, but no one confessed to getting into it. He then beat us all with a belt and told us we would have to stand there until the one who 'did it' would confess. None of us would. He even walked away for a while and we talked amongst ourselves, but none of us had done it. He kept us there most of the night but no one would confess. Finally he sent us to bed.

He then put the turntable away and went to bed, but when he got up the next day it was down again - turns out the spring holding the thing up had come loose.

I have a vivid memory of being beat with a belt until I wet myself when I was only 9 - for accidentally spilling a pint size can of paint, and trying to clean it up.

And don't you just want to live with these people for eternity?

F~<kin' A right. I Chose these people???? Screw you!!!

+1

like i've always said about families can live together forever....don't threaten me.

I have a pretty humiliating one.

I was a preemie, and one of the things that never developed correctly in me was my bladder. I always had to pee a lot as a child, and now, at 33, I still pee a lot. I still get up at least once or twice a night. It's just a part of who I am.

My mom was convinced that I used it as an excuse to not go to bed at night. Every time I got up to pee, she would set my bedtime 15 minutes earlier the next night- to the point where I was actually having "bedtime" at 4:30 in the afternoon for a while. She would scream at me, and sometimes hit me. And she finally started locking my door from the outside so I couldn't get out. (Gee, that's safe...)

I started peeing in a corner on the floor because there wasn't anything else I could do. I finally wised up and got an old towel that I'd pee on instead of the carpet. But I remember doing this as young as 6 or 7, and as late as 9 or 10. Humiliating.

I've always tried to live with empathy for others. I'm appalled at the way some folks treat their children.

Wanna drive a car? You need a license.
Wanna open a Business? You need a license
Wanna carry a firearm? You need a license

Wanna create a new and unique person? Go to it! No license or training required.

F~<k up at no risk.

My mother was severely bipolar and damaged. She was horribly abusive to the point that I have seen her half a dozen times since the state removed me from her care when I was 13, and I cut her out completely over 10 years ago. She has had 2 "death scares" (she's a paraplegic, has one arm, and is really sick) and I haven't gone for either of them. The last time it happened my brother and I agreed that we had made our decision "for good" and next time it came up (because she hasn't died... yet...) we wouldn't even need to talk about it/agonize over it.

I've done therapy and I've cut her out of my life. I have surrounded myself with many loving, caring people and have worked to be as forgiving, open and positive as I can be. And I believe that what I went through has made me a better, more supportive and loving person. But yes, some people certainly shouldn't be parents.

(This was supposed to be in response to untarded!)

One more anecdote for the road:

A few years back my dad had knee surgery at the same hospital I was born at. I decided that since I had all this time on my hands (I love my dad and was there the whole week he was in the hospital) I might as well get my medical records.

I found profound evidence of Munchhausen's by proxy. Lots of "parent claims child had symptoms of x, y, z, but nothing evident on exam" etc. The most damning was attached to some records about CO2 poisoning in the home was speculation that MY MOTHER HAD DAMAGED THE PIPES ON PURPOSE so we would all get sick. I know we were in the system, but we must have fallen through the cracks, because I don't know how my brother and I weren't taken away much, much sooner than we were.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/03/2012 11:07PM by lily.

As a parent (and grandparent) I have always chosen to believe the child unless I have proof to the contrary. (I've also made it crystal clear that if I find out they've lied to me they won't be happy at all.)

I can remember the whole "You're all going to get beaten until someone confesses." thing too. (And I'm a neverMo from a family of neverMos.)

I think the biggest problem is that these people don't see children as people but as possessions. I wish we had a children's bill of rights in this country. (Yeah, we can't even pass ERA, sure we're going to get a children's bill of rights...)