Or so claims my over-zealous father. He said that Elder Oaks gave a talk that said that there are certain situations (like when an ex-mo child may lead more children away) that it is the right thing to do to cast them out of the family.

Does anyone remember what this talk was called?

And WTF!!!!! This reminds me of the FLDS practice of casting out dissidents. Seems like the two religions are not so different after all...

Maybe he was thinking of this one from 2009

Love and Law
http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/love-and-law?lang=eng

In some situations it might become necessary, like if the child is violent and threatening the safety of the family. Or it might become necessary if the child was a predator toward the younger children.

I can't see casting a child out of the house especially over something like religion, and I can't see my parents' view that Elder D' Hoax was right about defending the family from the unbelieving child, as if he or she fit the categories above.

As far as being cast out for not believing, I think is a very poor excuse...Unless of course the disbelief involves confrontations and becoming a menace to the family... I can see having the old enough child move out of the house, but never cast out of the family.

But then again, throughout mankinds history families and communities have been destroyed over and over because of religious beliefs taking priority over human goodness.

I have seen instances where a young person is taken out of the home because their behavior is dangerous. One young woman set the parents house on fire and they lost everything.

Some are violent, even at a young age, threatening and hurting other family members and need to be in a more controlled environment.

And yes, some very religious controlling parents will "kick" a teenager, for instance, out of the home if they are into drugs, stealing, and other illegal activities. They become a Ward of the Court in many cases.

I recall one instance when an LDS Church employee kicked their kid out of their home, but it was OK for him to live in our home! I had a few choice words with the father in this case!
Once they got him isolated in another state with another LDS relative, I guess he decided he couldn't fight "city hall" anymore and "shaped up" and they got him married off in the temple, the last I heard. The family pressure can be great.

This is the same thinking that produces the "love the sinner, hate the sin" bullshit.

It's the same thinking that says it's okay to be gay, but not okay to "engage in homosexual acts".

The thing is, humans need no real urging to accept loved ones, despite the fact that they may do things we find incomprehensible and/or hurtful.

So why do they push this conditional love stuff?

It's an excuse for controlling, bigoted behavior, that's why.

That's all it is.

It's the wrapping up of anti-social meanness and pettiness in a cloak of righteousness.

Some church.

Kick out a child under the age of 18 for not believing your silly religion. Go ahead and do that, in order to protect the other children. It will work, right at the moment CPS comes to take the rest away.

Of course this was probably talking about adult children, but we know TBMs who send off troubled youth to go live with relatives, or kick them out of the house for a little while. Problem is the latter rarely gets reported to the proper authorities.

How about the huge LDS "industry" in child intervention? The harsh desert camps, the prison-like "schools" and "academies" in the hills? Parents who have the cash or insurance send their kids "away" for "their own good", without having to admit to anyone that they have kicked their kid out of the family. And if the kid gets "fixed", and returns to the family cowed and broken, then the parents "win".

Yeah but that kind of abuse takes money, and money lets you get away with crap. Most abusers are to cheep to spring for sending their seed off to a desert slave labor camp. At least I hope they are.

I was thinking it would be OK to see promoters of fraud put in prison, even More so for perpetrators of extortion, but LDS inc gets away with it by doing it in Jesus's name. what a racket! oh well, its always ok to kick the LDS religion out of the house!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LA_Eusla4o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xaYMdHNILw

I love the ones about Temple throat slashing where Jeffrey R(idiculous) Holland talks about how he feels God's Love or Holiness or whatever he said in the Temple etc!! hahaha

Paul Maughan rocks!

There is also that temple recommend question that asks if you are associating with 'opposers' of the church.

It doesn't have an exemption for own family members as far as I know.

I tried reading that Elder Oaks talk 'Love and Law' and it sounded like riddles to me.

and When he quotes Smith's bullcrap from D&C! lol

A few years back we had an elder that had three children. He married a woman in the church. She did not like the son, so he was kicked out at age fourteen. He was and still is a nice person. The B/P let him live with his family until the young man went into the Army. Young man is married, four children and does not believe in the church. It really broke his heart to tell B/P and his family that he doesn't believe in the church, but they still love each other and relate as a family of birth would. Young man and his family go to church sometimes as a token of respect for the B/P and his family.

Mr Sensitive had the following to say in his "interview" with church public affairs a couple of years ago when he and Wickman were talking about gays:

PUBLIC AFFAIRS: At what point does showing that love cross the line into inadvertently endorsing behavior? If the son says, ‘Well, if you love me, can I bring my partner to our home to visit? Can we come for holidays?’ How do you balance that against, for example, concern for other children in the home?’

ELDER OAKS: That’s a decision that needs to be made individually by the person responsible, calling upon the Lord for inspiration. I can imagine that in most circumstances the parents would say, ‘Please don’t do that. Don’t put us into that position.’ Surely if there are children in the home who would be influenced by this example, the answer would likely be that. There would also be other factors that would make that the likely answer.

I can also imagine some circumstances in which it might be possible to say, ‘Yes, come, but don’t expect to stay overnight. Don’t expect to be a lengthy house guest. Don’t expect us to take you out and introduce you to our friends, or to deal with you in a public situation that would imply our approval of your “partnership.”

His "Don't expect us to...introduce you to our friends.." is a classic.

Oh my FUCKING GOD.

Why am I even slightly surprised that homosexuality is being referred to as something that is communicable.

Can I go throw up now?

then it WOULD be "communicable" to a certain extent, wouldn't it?

Note: I do NOT believe this myself, just trying to explain the homophobes mindset.

This really is the problem--that TBM's (or at least Oaks) lumps together co-habitation (as he calls it) with drug addiction, as equally horrendous problems. One is a lifestyle choice, in fact. The other is a life-threatening condition which requires intervention.

How can these two things even be in the same thought?! It's like saying that someone not believing in something that isn't true is equally as threatening as, say, someone who is a capable of serious violence toward an innocent.

To use such disparate examples together is pure crazy-making!

Ya know, I was once in a situation where I really felt one of my kids was a threat to the rest of the brood. It was heartbreaking and not an easy situation. I really wanted him to be anywhere but my home. I honestly had lost hope and worried that he would either end up dead or in prison. He was 15 when things came to a head. He pulled a knife on a kid at school and with the zero tolerance policy was arrested and charged with felony aggravated assault. It was what we needed to get the mental health insurance to finally kick in.

He spent 6 months in a rehab - and believe me, in the beginning he hated me. He screamed vile and nasty things at me and told me he never wanted to see me again. I spent many hours with his counselors, doctors and his parole officer. I probably pissed him off even more when I would tell him "it's okay, I love you enough to let you hate me for a while." Come to find out, he is bipolar. After his 6 months in residential treatment, he spent another 6 months in a day treatment program.

The kid I didn't think would graduate from HS, graduated with honors. He's now 25, works at a treatment facility much like the one he spent 6 months in and is going to school to be a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. He makes me so proud now, it is such a long ways from the kid I had no hope for and I am grateful that he is doing so well.

Sometimes the safety of the others makes us make tough decisions. However, we didn't just kick him to the curb - thank Gawd we had mental health insurance - the facility he was in was about $13k per month and without it I don't know what we would have done.

I will say this - this all went down during the time I was still a TBM and I did go to my bishop and ask for some help financially to get him into the Boys Ranch or something - he basically told me there was no way the church would help.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/06/2012 03:41PM by bigred.

You're probably lucky TSCC didn't help you, cause who knows what they would have done to him at Boys Ranch. And, I don't think he would've got diagnosed bipolar if he had been at one of the camp places.

Maybe that's an exmo FPS. "Because TSCC did NOT help me in my hour of need, my child was able to get the help he needed." *sniff*



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/06/2012 05:12PM by polymath.

On the bright side .......
I think the reverse is also true. It's ok to kick apostle's out of my house. And I did. My family is doing much better since then.

I don't know about the apostle, but I think it is completely fine for adults to kick children out of the house.

...assuming they are adults. If they are younger than 18, then the issue becomes significantly more complicated.

As I stumbled once again upon a post that brings back very bad memories.Before I myself got involved in the cult, I was trying to keep my 15 year old daughter from the mormons.I knew in my heart that this group was trouble.I had had enough of her coming home from school and going straight to her room and locking the door to read that BOM.I finally , on a very wintry stormy day afer she refused to come out of her room..somehow got her to open the door.I then took that cult book and threw it out the back door in three feet of snow and told her I would no longer put up with her being associated with those people.She had not been baptised yet because she wasn't the age of self consent.
To make a loong story short.She grabbed her coat and went walking down the road in a snow storm.I called to her to come back, but she didn't.She went to a members home and they sheltered her for a night then showed up at my door next day to let me know that she was with them.I knew she was at a members home, so I didn't worry about her safety. eventuallyEventually..I saw how much she wanted to be in this church.So I relented and consented to her demise.
There is alot more to my story..maybe I ought to write a book.But that was 32 years ago and I have a hard time with days and dates.So, I'll just continue to read so many other stories that are so like my own about this horrible cult that invaded my life.

When I was fourteen my father tried to place me in the foster system, because I didn't believe in Mormonism. A suitable home couldn't be found, so he settled for putting me in a boy's ranch the following summer. I spent half of my fifteenth year in an institution. I was maladjusted and had problems with my social life due to anxiety that wasn't diagnosed until I was thiry-nine. Until then, I thought maybe I really was bad--I'd been told so enough times.