Once upon a time, in an undisclosed heavenly location, two/four men sat at a table in front of a large urim & thummim computer monitor discussing their latest venture.

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Lucifer: Ok, this one will be named Suzy. She will be born into a poor home with painful birth defects that never stop hurting. Her unfaithful father will cheat on her mother until he is caught in the act. The mother will leave with her daughter and become an alcoholic. They will live in a hotel until the mother hooks up with a biker who will abuse them both. Suzy will be killed during one of these assaults. She will never learn about you nor have the chance to accept your future self-sacrifice. As such, she will go to hell.

God: Oh, that sounds interesting.

Lucifer: ...

God: What? Something I said?

Lucifer: Look, god. What's interesting to you will be a torturous life for this woman. Remember, she doesn't exist. She's just a figment of your imagination. You don't have to go through with this, you know.

God: Yes, I do. Suzy must be given a fair shake, a chance at life!

Lucifer: THERE IS NO SUZY! She's just an idea. A concept. She doesn't exist. But if you create her she will suffer, die before her time, and then be tortured for the rest of eternity for not complying with the rules of the game you're creating.

God: Well, when you put it that way...

Lucifer: So, can we just forget about Suzy and move on?

God: No. I want to create Suzy. Look, this is my creation, ok? You gotta have some suffering to REALLY enjoy the good times.

Lucifer: But there are no good times for Suzy. Only for you. For Suzy it will be all suffering all the time for the rest of eternity. For no reason! It's not as if she did anything to deserve that, you know.

God: She's in. Next...

Lucifer: (sigh) Um, let's see... Oh, ok. This is Mumbambu. He'll be born into a disease-ridden village in Liberia. As a starving baby he will be kidnapped by a warlord, his back will be cut down the spine, and the warlord will eat his beating heart to make him invincible during battle.

God: Oh. OH! I love that! The heart will be beating while it's being eaten?

Lucifer: ...

God: WHAT?!

Lucifer: Don't you even care what Mumbambu is going to have to go through in order to entertain you?

God: Look, Lucifer. You're really chapping my ass. It's not as if I'M the one eating his heart. That's free will at work.

Lucifer: No, it's not. It's absolutely your choice because Mumbambu doesn't even exist yet. HE'S JUST A FANTASY OF YOURS! You can decide not to create him anytime you want!

God: Yeah, I know. But I really really REALLY want to see that scenario play out. You've gotta break up the eternal monotony somehow...

Lucifer: Ok, fine. According to your rules Mumbambu will go to hell for not accepting your future self-sacrifice. Are you ok with that?

God: Yeah man, that's the idea. Why do you think I created hell?

Lucifer: Some of us have been wondering about that. Don't you think it's going to be hard to sell the infinitely merciful father-figure personality when you're going around creating torture chambers just to entertain yourself with?

God: I don't care what people think. This is my creation and I'll do as I please.

Lucifer: Right, of course. Ok, next we have Tony. Tony will be born into a middle-income household. He'll get average grades until his best friend gets him hooked on meth. Tony will start robbing his parents to buy more until they kick him out of the house. He'll go to jail for 15 years for assualt, larceny, and possession charges. When he gets out he'll orchestrate a home invasion in which he and his posse murder the father and rape the mother in front of her children until they are rescued. He'll go back to prison for life. Just before he dies he'll read the bible and accept your future self-sacrifice. We've already reserved him a spot at the wedding supper of the lamb.

God: (yawn) That's nice. Next?

Lucifer: You know what, god? Fuck you.


Lucifer then leads a revolt against god in which he and his followers are cast out. They go down to hell to see if there's anything they can do to rescue the souls of the poor saps who were brought into existence for the sole purpose of entertaining their creator by being tortured for all of time.

God's Public Relations firm (Bonneville Communications) spins the story to make it seem as if Lucifer is the evil one and God is a disappointed father who did everything he could to keep his beloved Lucifer from going to the dark side.

The end? Not so much...

God is a sociopath with no regard for anyone's suffering or compassion. I agree.

Every story in the Bible and BOM shows it.

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if you believe in the (Judeo-christian) god myth, you've got to accept that god is one f****d up sociopath

Lucifer got kicked out of heaven for insisting that nobody be punished with neverending misery.

Later Lucifer went to the Garden of Eden to see how God's plan was progressing. It wasn't, of course, because Adam and Eve had no knowledge of good and evil. So Satan, after looking around at how God got his plan started "on other worlds," decided he'd try to get into God's good graces by doing the same thing on Earth.

God was still pissed at Lucifer for rejecting his plan back when, and now was doubly pissed that Lucifer was stepping on his toes. So he cursed him, meaning he still let Lucifer have free reign over the people of earth, but mankind would be imbued with religious stubbornness and irrationality so that they would be able to reject his "temptations."

So Satan stuck around and tried to help people learn the pleasures of life to bring some light into this miserable world that God created. God wouldn't have anything to do with it, though, and decided to punish anyone who had tried even the slightest pleasure with complete banishment, unless they begged him for forgiveness, made themselves miserable, and went back to irrational beliefs. He then attributed everything bad that he already knew was going to happen to Satan.

But did Satan say "screw it?" No, he stuck around. Today he has more influence over the minds of people than he ever has before, and ironically we also live in the most peaceful (per capita), enlightened, and comfortable age in the history of civilization. But don't worry, God gave us our existence, and he can take it away. Satan can't say that, and Satan's team will all get destroyed once God is done having his fun.

At the age of twelve I read science books and Mark Twain's "Letters From The Earth." I told my father that Mormonism didn't make sense to me anymore. Now devil worship is insidious. I didn't know I was satanic until my father told me. God bless him for withdrawing his love from me to teach me the cold reality of Christ. Of course I was too hard-headed to listen, so extra punishment was called for. Eventually, I had to be "put away" for a little season. I'm sure everything was spiritually correct, except for me. I needed "correcting."

Sometimes Ziller thinks that reading Mark Twain as a child is what enabled him to recognize the Book of Mormon as the colossal piece of bad writing that it is.

You know? You read all these brilliant inspirational made-up stories that everyone knows to be fiction.

Then you read the Book of Mormon ~ a crappy, stupid, idiotic non-story that everyone around you is saying is God’s Own Truth.

Mebe this is why some works by Mark Twain are still on the list of banned books in some jurisdictions.

And now, Ziller stands before you this day and buries his testimony that kolobian’s story of Lucifer is a true story.

In the name of cheese and macaroni,

ziller

When you start coming around from your Mormon swoon, it sometimes occurs to you that Lucifer is the only one telling the truth in the Garden of Eden temple story.

That' is some f*cked up sh*t.


Anagrammy

much more relistic idear of god i think, he can't be all loving

The problem with God is, he acts just like a mormon--no real substance, no depth.

This is a very interesting POV. Might be something to it. Thanks!