Okay, embarrassing confession time: I read a half-dozen Mormon Mommy Blogs on a fairly regular basis. I have no idea why, but anyway. One thing I've noticed is an almost universal wanton disregard for safety. Not just the bloggers themselves, but their children too. Specifically, letting kids who should still be in booster seats ride up front in cars, no bike helmets or life jackets on any family members when they're clearly needed, jumping on trampolines with no safety nets, etc. I didn't grow up in a heavily Mormon area so I have no idea if this is a regular thing, although it seems to be very pervasive if the blogs are any indication. It's funny that these women take such pains to make sure everyone is dressed to perfection and the house looks immaculate, but they don't care if their kids don't wear seat belts. A quick Google search shows some interesting (and humorous, if you like dark humor) insights re: Mormons and trampolines, by the way. Does anyone know what's up, though? Do they think God will protect them from harm, or are they just really ignorant about safety or what?

I was interested to read your post because a TBM friend I am pretty close to has always seemed quite unconcerned to me about her children's safety, even though in all other respects she is an excellent mother and clearly crazy about her kids. For example, we once took all of our kids to a park, and she let her two-year-old daughter run toward a busy street close to rush hour; there was no fence or barrier around the park, so the two-year-old did almost end up in the street. She made no attempt to stop her or run after her other than calling for her to come back (which she did not--finally, an older couple in the park managed to grab her). I could not help as I was feeding a newborn and could not run, so i was looking on in horror. That is one of several examples. She also has made fun of me (in a joking way) for having safety gates at the top and bottom of stairs in our home, as if I am a safety freak for trying to prevent extremely active two-year-olds from tumbling down a fairly long staircase.

I don't get it and can only conclude that because she is from a family of 7 and also grew up around many other large LDS families, maybe she is just used to chaos and tunes out what others would see as potential dangers? I think it's pretty damn hard to "tune out" a busy street, though, as your toddler lurches toward it....

If someone isn't meant to be injured, the lord will protect them.

This exactly, for some mormons anyways. Usually the older generations.

It was the reasoning my mother used. You told a little fib, you deserved that fall out of the bunkbed.
(No, she didn't say that in so many words, but it was made very clear to me that doctors were for immunizations and "proving I was faking", not healing.)
How many stories in both the bible and the bom have people who fall away being punished physically?
Lots.

I see the same thing. My stepson insisted they didn't need to waste money on a car seat for their new baby. He only relented because the hospital told them they won't release the baby unless they have one. This is their first baby, but I still think that is no excuse. I hope they come around on the safety issues.

I was raised in times before infant car seats.... before seat belts (not NOT before cars, haha).

I'm glad my dad was a careful driver, but also was lucky.

I think ChurchCo should start infants out with garmies!
Then, parents could claim a 'religious exemption' for children's car seats, save MONEY!

I always wondered about the trampoline thing--when my sister was doing her TBM thing in a little town in Az the front and backyards all had them! Her kids always had something broken.

None of her babies used a car seat past the age of about 18 months because the next one had arrived and needed it. They all used the same car seat and she was so proud of how thrifty she had been and thought I was crazy for suggesting a newer one might have been stronger or better designed--that she could still use that one was proof of how strong it was.

And then there were the four wheelers! A rural Az town, 98 % Mormon . . . at least 3 kids a year died in 4 wheeling accidents. All of her boys had concussions each year and one broke four ribs and lacerated his liver and had to be air lifted to Phoenix one year when the stupid cart flipped over on top of him. He was back on it in 6 weeks!

I think it has to do with tradition. Moms married young and didn't really get an education, including an education on child-rearing. Now, you can make that up on your own if you read and watch educational TV and care enough to do so. But most Mormon mommies are too busy to go the extra mile like that because all there extra effort is directed toward the church. Plus, they have so MANY little kids when the mom is barely a grown-up by themselves, that it's really hard to cover even the basics. Fast forward a decade or two and you have daughters falling into the same trap, raising their kids the way they were raised and thinking nothing of it. In fact, you end up with a whole church full of people like that, where the careful parents are the odd-man out and are considered "over-protective".

I had a Mormon neighbor once whose 6 year old cut off the very tip of her finger with one of her dad's power tools (which were plugged in in the garage - no safety precautions there). Did the mom rush her to the emergency room? Nope, too expensive. She just bandaged her daughter up herself and hoped for the best because "Well, we had 11 kids and no money growing up so I learned to take accidents like this in stride. Another friend of mine who grew up in Utah/Idaho moved into her inlaws basement with her 3 kids after her husband finished grad school, until he found a job. Her 3 year old figured out how to open the basement door and she would wake up in the morning, front door open and junior running around the neighborhood in his diapers for who knows how long. She begged her MIL to put a safety lock on the basement door but MIL didn't want to ruin the look of the door. Once I was at a grocery store in Utah and saw a toddler running around in the parking lot. I took him inside to the help desk and turned around to see the mom outside the store doors, chatting away on the pay phone, clueless to where her son was. The son was crying, btw, and I don't know how she didn't hear him since he was in the parking lot near where the phones were. I just didn't see her on the phone because it was behind a pillar so I took him to the help desk. When I went to inform her where her son was, she bit my head off...like she was mad at me for show her what a bad mother she was.

So, basically, I think it's a problem of overburdened, undereducated moms who just don't care enough because they don't know to worry or they just don't have it in them to worry about one more thing.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 05:28PM by CA girl.

I seriously thought I was the only one who pondered this. I realize every generation and culture around the world has different views on raising children but living in the Mormon bubble it seems like most mothers are too depressed to care or too broke to financially invest in that second carseat or safety net. One of my children was born with serious health issues and it was important to keep them away from others, especially during the winter season with RSV running around. I was harassed non-stop by the RS and other ladies in the ward because so-and-so's kid just had open-heart surgery and they brought her back to church the very week she was released from the hospital.....blah blah. As Cheryl put it the thinking is that if you are TBM the Lord will protect them, you don't need to take any personal responsibility or extra steps. I find it all very sad.

Older children watch younger children at a young age--7/8 year olds watching toddlers while mom takes care of the baby.

Kids running around the church building with no adult supervision at all..I've seen some playing outside in the parking lot with parents inside yammering, no clue their toddler is outside..

It takes a village, yep a village..

Duh, it's because having your Mormon child seriously injured in an accident is a great way to get to meet Thomas S. Monson when he comes peeking outside your curtains.

...to the barrios of Lima, Rio, Bogata, etc., like I was? Imagine sending two unarmed, naive, white gringos into unlit, poor, dirt streets, rabid dogs, unelectrified neighborhoods, crime-ridden areas in South America looking either like rich Americans or CIA agents. Imagine having them wander around with bad diets, questionable parasites, unhealthy water, diseases, bad health care, no sun screen, unethical dentists, youth gangs etc. with only magic underwear, a rock in hand and an imaginary friend to protect them.

Effing asshole cult hierarchy!!!!!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 05:58PM by nomo.

then they blame local nonmos because the mishie kids aren't welcomed and treated well enough.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 07:01PM by Cheryl.

I have noticed a lack of attentiveness to children's safety by Mormon parents. I thought maybe it was part of being a large family in that each child was less valued, but I'm not sure. I'm not really sure that Mormons are less safe than others, but I have noticed a reluctance to properly treat children who've been injured.

Well if god saw fit to punish them, surely it was deserved.



;)

My Ex believes that if she is righteous and pays her tithing, god will protect her and keep her and the kids from harm. Also, if she was on the lord's business (like visit teaching), nothing bad would happen. She often left the kids home alone for hours while she went VTing. I tried to get her to schedule her appointments at times when I was home, but she refused; it wasn't convenient (either to her companion or to the ladies she visited). She refused to get babysitters to watch them. I never knew when she was going to go out VTing, until afterwards when I found the kids running rampant.

Ex and her penishood boyfriend took the kids camping one time, and let them swim in a river that was deeper that they were tall, and it also had a strong current. I had bought life vests for them once (for use when we went boating), and she had these vests. She didn't think they needed them. "Nothing will happen." 15-year-old daughter is caught by the current and pulled under. Her brother shouts to their mother that sister was pulled under water and didn't come up. People in the area asked if they should call 911, and she said, "No, I'm sure she'll come up somewhere. Let's look downstream." 20 minutes later they find my daughter caught in roots underwater. Of course, it's too late; she's gone.

Mother takes no responsibility for her actions or decisions. Even though she paid her tithing, something bad DID happen. However, that doesn't count. "God took her because he needed her. She laboring for the gospel in the next life."

GodDamn stupid people, goddamn stupid cult.

What an awful story! That's a horror that no parent should have to endure. I'm sorry for your loss.

I agree about the Goddamn stupid people and cult!

Sending you my warmest healing thoughts and wish I could do more. Take care.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 08:12PM by Cheryl.

I am truly sorry. :o(

I've noticed that to, on Mormon mommy blogs. One is by a mother of 8 who admitted that every one of her kids except the youngest, has broken bones on their trampoline, and that she did the same thing at that age. The only reason the youngest hasn't broken a bone yet is that she's an infant. She's also one who doesn't pay attention to carseat laws, as the carseats are extremely old as well. With the last broken bone, that blogger waited a while before taking that toddler to get the cast put on.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/11/2012 08:24PM by adoylelb.

This is why I like seat belt laws. I can't tell you how many peoples biggest concern about letting children ride unprotected is that they will get a ticket. Really, a ticket? Shouldn't your biggest concern be your child's health and welfare? Kids not safely restrain, you deserve a ticket.

BTW, a regular seat belt, works almost just as well as a forward facing child seat, if both are in use. The advantage of a forward facing car seat is that if it is properly installed and used, it makes it virtually impossible for little ones to get out of it. Most kids will slip out of the shoulder straps, but they can't get out of the buckle. I personally go easy as long as the lap restraint is in place.

I had a mo friend whose children always seemed so uncared for. They would cry a lot. It was like she was deaf. They were always sick with runny noses. One day I pulled up to her house and her two year old was alone out in the front yard stark naked. Her mother had no idea, she was in the house sewing. Seems like a pedifile's dream come true. Those kids are adults now. It's a miracle! One had a very serious illness when he was 2. He almost died. She told me she really wasn't upset about it, if he died, he died. Funny thing is, she isn't that way with her grandchildren at all. She scolds their parents if she thinks they aren't being protective enough. I don't understand it.

Here is my list: One toddler fell head first into a half-filled mop bucket and drowned while LDS parents and sibblings were out of the kitchen where the mopping was taking place. Mother not charged. I had to drop something off at their home one day. It was a mess outside. I was not invited inside.

One 6-year old was out in the LDS church parking lot without supervision when someone screamed. A women backing out of a parking stall accidentally ran over the girl. It was hopeless. The little one passed away.

LDS grandma was yaking her chops with a couple of people hired to mow the lawn rather than looking after her grandson whom she was supposed to be babysitting. The teenage daughter of the couple hired to mow the lawn entered the grandmother's home, took the boy downstairs and raped him. Grandma called the bishop. Bishop called SLC. SLC told bishop to call the police. Teenager was arrested.

I have a bunch of personal, childhood stories that would cause you to wonder why some parents have children.

Are there stat's for Utah that may show it has high youth injury rates? Yes, there may be, but I'm too lazy to look it up...

Thanks everyone for the responses. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has noticed and is bothered by this! Some of the stories posted gave me the chills. Another thing is, most homeowners insurance companies will either refuse to insure a home with a trampoline, or, if they will insure it, they impose a hefty premium. I used to work for an insurance company and trampoline injury claims were second only to dog bites, scary stuff! I suspect a lot of the LDS families in question either outright lie to their insurers when the question comes up (and it does, any time a homeowners insurance policy is underwritten), or they wait until the policy is in place before they buy the trampoline. Nice.
Also, there is a semi-famous Mormon Mommy Blogger who barely survived an airplane crash along with her husband. Private plane, he was an inexperienced pilot and he crashed it. IMO, the wisdom of flying like that when you have four young kids is questionable, but whatever. Anyway, despite one brush with death, the blog is full of pics of their kids on boats without life jackets, riding bikes without helmets, sleeping in the backseat of a moving car with no car seats for the little kids or even seat belts, etc. Some of this stuff just seems like common sense and I can't believe the parents can be so ignorant.

I was very athletic in my younger days and was on three varsity teams in high school. One of them was gymnastics. I learned to have a healthy respect for trampolines. I would never work on one without having spotters and mats surrounding it. I don't consider them to be playthings. I think that it's a very bad idea to have a trampoline in a family's backyard.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 01/12/2012 11:48AM by summer.

OMG as a nevermo in Idaho I was shocked when we moved her how the parents don't parent or watch their kids. At the pool I don't know how many kids I've saved from drowning! Everyone has a trampoline too.

"So, basically, I think it's a problem of overburdened, undereducated moms who just don't care enough because they don't know to worry or they just don't have it in them to worry about one more thing."

I have to completely agree. We do a dance class that is 95% mormon (it's cheap and I'm friends with the teacher who is mo, but a cool one). The kids just run around like crazies during the class. This week a one year wasn't being watched and almost drank some of my tea in my travel mug. Mom was oblivious. They are so young they don't know better. I had to quit doing playgroups or playdate with Mo's b/c they don't parent and I don't trust them to watch my kid. I was asked to join the Ward's co-op playgroup but said no since I know they don't watch their kids.

There is a blatant disregard for safety b/c of the belief in afterlife and better place. I lost two babies and I still mourn them. I met one lady with 7 kids who's son told me "Well there were 8 of us but I had a brother who died. But it's ok." They mom wasn't sad or anything. It broke my heart.

Thanks for letting me vent!

Mormons are forbidden to have fun in so many ways that they go hog wild when it comes to the approved ways of having fun.

And they can't stand having any more rules jammed down their throats, so they actually get angry if you bring up helmets or car seats.

I don't know which family in the mormon aristocracy first came up with the trampoline idea, but it's obviously now on the unofficial official approved list of family-oriented activities.

Vacation at Disney World, break bones on the trampoline, attend church with your toddlers' limbs in a cast.

It's all good.

Oh, yeah, and then there's this. When you have loads of kiddies you can't properly supervise, you have to "put it all in the Lord's hands."

Of course, God is not that reliable when it comes to children. He thinks any ten children equal any other ten children. If he kills ten of Job's children, it's all good if he replaces them with ten more.

For another guy: I am so sorry about your daughter's death. I hope you got custody of the remaining children for your and their sakes.
One way we could take the number of TBMs down by a huge number is to have an IQ test required to become a TBM. No more TBMs.