Or the smartest thing you've read?

I can't remember who said it, but I wish I did- it was something to the extent of "Once you saw your parents eating the cookies and putting the presents under the tree, did you still believe in Santa?"

That was SUCH a lightbulb moment for me. I've known for so long that the church is false, but I still kind of brushed it aside...that made me realize that it's absolutely ridiculous to go back when you know the truth.

So, for whoever wrote that, thank you!

That's just one of the MANY wise words I've had the pleasure of viewing on RFM.

How bout you guys?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2012 08:34PM by ajhart.

"If there's a poster who always winds you up, leave their posts alone." That was some very helpful advice!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/15/2012 08:30PM by matt.

the most helpful piece of advice was to take it slowly. Of course, recently someone posted that the advice to take it slowly was the worst piece of advice they got but everyone's situation is different. Some people can rip the bandage off in one go. But those of us in more complicated situations involving more people often make more progress taking things slowly, letting the people around us adjust and then taking a couple more steps.

I also think it helps to learn everything you can about Mormonism to shore you up when you start wondering if Mormons are right.

Resign

Keep reading. You will hear something more mind bending tomorrow.

Don't contend with Mo loved ones. Don't exmo proselyte.

+ 1.That can be hard, but if you want a relationship with Mormons, you have to respect their right to believe while defending your right not to.

"Don't do something just for someone else" aka don't get baptized because of the adorable missionary

Haha amen sister!!

"Disregard this advice"

3 things!

1 - While crying to this forum that the mormon man who I was in a relationship with had dumped me - cos he was pressured from all sides to ditch the heathen woman (me) - Richard Packham gave a link to his page about being in love with a mormon.

2 - Also, someone (I wish I could remember who!) wrote: "you just dodged a bullet" which I thought was cold and a bit mean at first but it REALLY resonated with me once I read the Packham page. Still does, actually.

3 - Someone recommended the film 'Zardoz' - which has become a favourite! ;-)

I got mad at another poster's reply, and I wrote something nasty. Susan deleted it and sent me an email explaining why. It's hard for a fifty-year old man to do some more growing up, but she helped me.

ajhart that is a beautiful discription of what goes in in the church. "Once you saw your parents eating the cookies and putting the presents under the tree, did you still believe in Santa?"
I am going to write that one down for future reference!

Awesome! I'm glad you like it as much as I do!

I've learned more about Mormonism than I did in my first 20 years actually participating, many times over. I've learned a lot about other stuff, too.

knowing that I was not the only person in the universe who was underwhelmed by the temple ceremony. That, all by itself, gave me a tremendous boost in self-confidence.

The best advice I have received is that coffee enemas do not violate the word of wisdom.

That it will get better and that one day, you will look back and laugh at it. Guess what? I am laughing every day with coffee and no silly underwear!

Best piece of advice - Greg Dodge's email address and suggested wording of resignation letter.

+1000!!!

Anagrammy has posted at least once about the importance of building a healthy relationship with yourself before you try to establish a healthy one with anyone else.

I doubt I said that as well as she did, but it is something that I had done many years ago and recognize the incredible value of that advice for anyone, but especially for freshly minted exmos who may be at a disadvantage in the personal growth department. I was soooo naive about myself when I first left the church.

Years ago a wonderful fella named Ether encouraged me (actually, scolded, but I needed it) to stop trying to make life easy for others at the expense of my own happiness, and be true to myself. He was very instrumental in me finally telling my family I wanted out of the church. Ether, if you're still out there, I thank you!

I followed it and my friend and I are both much happier for it, I'm sure.

Thanks guys and gals!!

(The advice, by the way, was "Don't move in with her." It was excellent because I'm just too nurturing and us living together would have stifled the personal and emotional growth she's managed and it would have burned me out. She's in a good place and I'm able to be a supportive friend so it all worked out well.)

It was the post where someone discussed the concept of "cognitive dissonance" as it relates to Mormonism and coming to terms with teachings/beliefs versus what we can plainly see to be true.

That Mormonism is just another tribe and that I have to not give others my power.

I came onto RFM to find out how I could end my "eternal" temple marriage to a wife-beater, whom I had divorced decades ago.

1. RFM explained that the temple eternal marriage is a hoax, invented by JS so he could marry plural wives.

2. I learned that if I resigned that "all temple ordinances will be revoked." I would have been willing to be excommunicated to break the sealing, but resigning was more dignified--and very gratifying!

3. Freeatlast explained how the Mormon cult robs members of their self-esteem. After reading his pages, I could at last admit: "Yes, it is a cult."

Best would be "you are not alone" but also just the fact that we can talk/post about any Mormon topic, including the sacred temple without it being taboo. Finally being able to ask questions and get rational answers instead of read your scriptures and pray. My biggest worries were over the temple, was I the only one who had a problem with it? Steve Benson's posts have helped me understand it all more clearly. Love the mormonthink website and any book recommendation here..

For me it was a question some one asked here that I read the first day I came here. The question was; If the Mormon church wasn't true, would you want to know that? It was also stated that the person asking does not want to know the answer. The answer is for you, alone. It really opened my mind and started me thinking. Now I try to ask that of every Mormon I meet.

Just say no! If the bishop wants to meet just say no. If they want you to come to tithing settlement just say no. Etc. \

One other piece of advice that has worked well is "who gives a shit." Thanks Tim.

You believe that, don't you?

Timothy

You are not alone and take it slow for the sake of family and friends.

But most important *you are not alone."

There is almost nothing I have not benefitted from being here. I appreciate EVERYONE'S perspective, even those that are vastly different from mine. I love having to google some words because I do not understand or are not familiar with them. Boundless references that reinforce my intuition that things were not adding up to what was presented to me as a convert. I especially enjoyed attending the Exmo conference and meeting some of the posters here, although I wish I would have put faces and monikers together better. I could probably say something great about all of you here, I love people PERIOD. I have relished the support and appreciated the hard opinions too. Most of all, it is a miracle (calm down ;) ) that I can loud out loud again, can not be so serious, and enjoy part of the journey (life).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/16/2012 12:03PM by tiptoes.

My eyes were opened with Tal Bachman’s advice that basically said. “You can’t torpedo your own doctrine with other doctrine”.

When compared to itself in a rational manner mormonism torpedoes itself.

It was like waking from a dream as everything after learning Tal's bad doctrine test became clear as a bell.

We are not "ANTI-MORMON", but "PRO-TRUTH" :))